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Jacobthehuman

22 M Concord, NH

My Details

Last Online
Jun 22
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Native American, White
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Libra
Education
Graduated from high school
Job
Unemployed
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Other (Fluently), C++ (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I am a normal human with normal human parents, I am in no way an alien invader sent to assimilate local populations. Also I have super powers, such as shelling an egg in one piece and traveling forward in time slightly faster then normal for a split second.
What I’m doing with my life
Attempting to collect data on local authorities ability to fight mutant bear-monkeys. Also trying to find a decent normal earth job so I can get one of those fossil eating transport machines.
I’m really good at
Subverting the defenses of weaker species and assimilating them in the name of Xchtulachia! Also I'm a pretty mean cook.
The first things people usually notice about me
MY 2000 EYES! P̶l̶u̶s̶ ̶I̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶l̶o̶n̶g̶ ̶h̶a̶i̶r̶.̶ I cut my hair and donated it to LoL.

I have a zipper holding my stuffing / voice box in my bod.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Trying to name my favorite books and/or music would take forever.
I love documentaries and a whole shit load of different movies. I love the shows adventure time and the normal show because I may have poo-brain. Certain stand-up comedy is also choice.
The six things I could never do without
My oxygen replacer implant (also filters out all the earth germs), reddit, music, my laser eye implant (doubles as can opener), all my books, and trees.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Future projects that never get started, well not never but maybe 1 in 100 ever come to exist. I see it as procrastination survival of the fittest.
On a typical Friday night I am
Browsing reddit while getting fancy with friends. Or reading, or playing video games with said friends. Or getting drunk with old people in a barn, that happens a lot more then you'd expect.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
When I was little all I wanted to do was be in theater, I stopped wanting to on my own I think. But its weird to remember really really wanting to perform, I shy out of the spot light nowadays.

Also I am actually a gang of gnomes in a man suit.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–24
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating
You should message me if
You're interested in being in the number two seat of my ancient psychic tandem war elephant.

Also if you're 420 friendly, not to say you should smoke or anything, but I'm still probably gonna.