1. I am single, never married, no kiddos. So far, so good, but subject to change with a bit of old-fashioned cunning and deceit. I mean, I love kids, I'm just not ready for the commitment of uploading that many photos to Facebook.
2. Recently returned to home sweet home from 4 years in San Francisco. So, If you're willing to help me reacclimate — like mexican food or are just willing to slip into your favorite boots and go dancing on a Thursday, first round is on me. Not a bad deal, if you ask me.
3. I will ruin your bad mood. It really doesn't stand a chance.
4. Can I hold an intelligent conversation?... Can I cleanse my hands by clapping REALLY hard to smash bacteria? How did the Thesaurus survive the dinosaur extinction?... Nailed it.
5. I can cook, no, not like I have a few recipes that I recycle when I have company, I cook.
6. Casual is king, but I feel better about my vices when everyone is dressed up.
7. What is trust? Two gay cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
8. I'm not jewish, I'm Jew...ish