2. Recently returned from home sweet home, Austin. If you like mexican food or are just willing to slip into your favorite boots and go dancing on a Thursday, you get 2 bonus points. Not a bad deal, if you ask me.
3. I will ruin your bad mood. It really doesn't stand a chance.
4. Can I hold an intelligent conversation?... Where did birds poop before the invention of the car roof? Can I cleanse my hands by clapping REALLY hard to smash bacteria? Apple has introduced 'Thunderbolt' and 'Lightning', will the next technology be 'Very Very Frightening'?... Nailed it.
5. I am pretty mean in the kitchen. Seriously. Knives and fire? Yes, please.
6. Casual is king, but I feel better about my vices when everyone is dressed up.
7. The grass is greener where you water it.
8. What is trust? Two gay cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
9. The interwebs.
11. Link (sorry mobile users): My doctor just told me I'm going to need eye surgery, so I got myself a cat to cheer myself up. Say hi to Charlie!
12. Link (sorry mobile users): Why you should let me touch your butt, a presentation