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36 Corvallis, OR Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 10:10am
5' 9" (1.75m)
Body Type
Not at all
Atheism but it’s not important
Might want kids
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
As someone who once would occupy himself using a laser pointer to cause kittens to collide with each other I'm a bit of a recovering "bad boy". Do not fret, for my once cold heart has since been warmed with sadness by the mews of a feline youth realizing their unreachable dreams have been orchestrated into a meaningless bout of degenerate gladiatorial combat by some unseen presence. As such I no longer partake in such a vicious yet strangely fulfilling pastime.

(Also, I lost my laser pointer)

That said, a reminder of my once dark soul remains in the visceral selection of colors in my polo shirt selection.

I'm here to seek the heart of a woman that can see through the darkness of my past to the man I will become; A man that goes through life with a sense of responsibility demonstrated by proper use of the semicolon. I'm not there yet, but I need you to have faith.

I would also like a few other body parts attached to that heart. A torso, maybe some legs. Nothing too fancy. I just really like an occasional badminton match.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I work at a biotech research laboratory.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I've singlehandedly hunted the Austrian Woocodowcha to extinction.

I've never lost at thumb wrestling. In my life.

Sidenote: Killing zero of a nonexistent thing counts as genocide, right?

I also throw the third best parties in the world. Currently I'm planning on having numbers 1 and 2 'taken care of' as my friend Guido puts it. Party-throwing is a very competitive industry.

A list of my credentials: First ever adult box fort party, and the highly related and subsequent blanket fort party. First ever formal dancing event held in the middle of the forest. Also, even though I didn't throw the last haloween party I was the only one dressed up as a pirate to build and pilot my ship from my house to the party and into their living room (the thing was big enough for three people). Thought that deserved honorable mention.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I get a lot of comments that I look like the character from Hitman.

I've never watched the movie, but I saw the DVD cover once. Seems apt. Don't have a barcode though.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Favorite Book: Zombie survival guide.
Favorite Movie: Wag the Dog
Favorite Music: Major Tom (1983 version)
Favorite Food: Pizza, probably just because my diet won't let me have it though.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1: People, company, social activity just kinda going on around me.
2: Alone time.
3: A sense of purpose, doing something that will someday matter somehow.
4: The English language (mon francais est terrible!)
5: My computer
6: The list format
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Does anyone else make up stories in their head to entertain themselves? Cause seriously, I do this all the time but I never hear anyone else admit to doing the same.

I also like to feel useful, so I spend time thinking about other people's problems in an effort to gain some insight into them and maybe share that. Unfortunatly I feel uncomfortable giving unsolicited advice so this usually just stays in my head.

I also think about what it'd be like to be different people. Usually when I pass them on the street.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Lately? Nothing interesting. I'd like to fix that. Netflix only has so many decent movies.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I like people, but crowds make me hella skittish.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Are you an entertaining person? Do you say things that make people laugh? Perfect! Is it not on purpose? Even more perfect! Message me now.

Also; do you want to be a writer but lack the motivation? Do you just want to write, but never seem to find the time? I have the same problem, and would literal-figuratively give three of my toes to find someone to have writing parties with. I will bring treats.