Here are some answers to questions I've never asked:
If you're an attractive 35 year old woman, but tell a man that you're 28, you're, most likely, the roughest looking 28 year old woman he's ever met.
The most beneficial thing an adult can ever do for a child is to make him aware of the things he's terrible at.
A roll of toilet paper trumps a college degree if you're an unemployed dumbass with a BBA and an itchy butthole.
As far as music goes, Top 40 is not a synonym for "everything."
Functioning alcoholics are head and shoulders above most, if not all, people in AA.
When you get right down to it, professional sports and Storage Wars are pretty much the exact same thing.
A man attracted to another man is a much easier concept to grasp than a woman attracted to a man. But less easier than a man attracted to a woman. Dudes are just gross.
What I’m doing with my life
Whispering sweet nothings in its ear.
I’m really good at
Embarrassing you at the grocery store.
The first things people usually notice about me
I got blue eyes.
Over the course of my life, I've realized how totally gorgeous I am to some, yet utterly repugnant I am in the eyes of others. I've discovered I have little to no control over this, thus, I spend very little time worrying about it.
I would like to think of my awesomeness as self-evident, but can absolutely see this objective truth somehow getting mucked up along the way.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Apathy and Other Small Victories by Paul Neilan
Movies: Back To The Future
Shows: Breaking Bad
Music: Bob Dylan
The six things I could never do without
As long as I have deodorant, a tooth brush and a set of fingernail
clippers I am gravy . . . Everything else is just a bonus.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How watching my dog eat his own poop for the first time made me completely disgusted and an overall better person.
On a typical Friday night I am
Who could say? But there is almost always a glass of Jameson
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I pride myself on being a very progressive and accepting
individual, believing in absolute freedom, the right to happiness,
and civil liberties for all . . . but I get absolutely freaked the
fuck out by sex-change related subject matter. No moral objection
to it, necessarily, just gives me the heebie jeebies to think about
. . . Not proud of myself.
You should message me if
. . . you have absolutely nothing better to do with your time.