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36 F Austin, TX

I’m looking for

  • Straight men only
  • Ages 35–80
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Today – 4:49am
5′ 2″ (1.57m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Pisces, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from Ph.D program
Entertainment / Media
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
English, Japanese, Italian

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
AVAILABLE SATURDAY 11/1/14! Please send me the perfect date idea. My suggestion is that you buy VIP tickets to the Formula 1 Fashion Show at the W.

To those younger guys who assume that I am a prostitute: Whatever. I am in much the same way your mother was when she decided to sleep with your father--assuming he treated her well and impressed her with his generosity. We would all hope she held out at least for a cup of coffee and dinner--assuming she had any sense of self-esteem. I happen to think I am worth the W party.

I used to have the usual demure photos and "acceptable" profile. Then I had way too many men ask me for things such as joining threesomes and going to sex clubs. So this new profile--complete with risque photo--is my reaction:

*I want to dine at Uchi on South Lamar.
*I want to go to a play at a theater in South or Southwest Austin.
*I want to be presented with a Brighton handbag with a gift receipt at dinner.

IF YOU MEN CAN ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT, THEN I AM GOING TO ASK EXPLICITLY FOR WHAT I WANT. Turnabout is fair play. If you are offended, simply go away. I get plenty of offers.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My sweater kittens. The photo was taken last year and that's really me--without PhotoShop.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I think about why men are offended by my attitude when I have to put up with crap like this:

1. Men who message me with descriptions of their penis size. Or with pictures of it. (I used to teach--at the college level--the human reproductive system. I don't need any more lessons in male anatomy.)

2. Men who tell me they really "like vagina" and then don't want to even ask me on a date.

3. Men who want me to have sex with them and their (ugly) wives/girlfriends.

4. Men who live in remote parts of Texas who want me to come live with them and cook and clean in exchange for sex with them only. (I've always wanted to explore white slavery.)

5. Men who want me to join them in their hotel rooms late at night. One wanted me to belly dance for him. In the nude, of course.

6. Married men who want me to understand that they are only available during the afternoons and they cannot be seen by anyone. (And why not invite the wife? Then it would be a threesome! Think, man. Think!)

7. Men who want me to go to sex clubs and perform in front of their friends. One guy offered to buy me drinks in return. (Gee. I need to get in on this fabulous deal.)

ALL-TIME BIGGEST FAIL: One guy did not have a picture or profile. He wanted me to sit and wait in an isolated part of Austin. He said I did not need to know anything about him. If he liked what he saw, he would approach.

This really happened. And I am to be considered obnoxious for asking for what I want? Then I'll be considered obnoxious. But at least I am not a serial killer.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have had (almost) nothing but positive responses to this new profile in that I have had no more penis pictures! The only douche bag responses have come from two guys who did not read the profile. I have had hundreds of legitimate date requests. I can only guess that I have scared off the rude, cowardly buffoons.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are wanting to have some fun. Money helps. I really want to go the W party.