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30 M Arlington, VA

My Details

Last Online
Jul 29
5′ 8″ (1.72m)
Body Type
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Trying to keep myself entertained.

And he's not my puppy... But I might be getting one soon. I'm just afraid any one I got wouldn't be as awesome as he is.
What I’m doing with my life
Geez, this sounds like my mom. The day before my brother's wedding, she tried to set me up with every young woman she saw, including two bridesmaids, a waitress, and the random girl sitting at the next table over in the restaurant. So you'd be doing me a solid if you went out with me.
I’m really good at
Inadvertent physical humor when I spill on myself. Freestyle baking. Having great genes (isn't that important to women?). Teaching dogs tricks. Finding humor everywhere. Sounding confident when I'm full of shit. Settlers of Catan. Conniving ways to live overseas. [Update: I am not good at the previous one, clearly, as I'm still here.] Getting angry when Tom Brady throws an interception.
The first things people usually notice about me
That half the room is rolling on the floor laughing from something I just said, while the other half is rolling its eyes.

And I've been told that my superpower is that I can make any situation awkward.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Top authors are Philip K Dick, Jeffrey Eugenides, and David Sedaris. I'm working on a history of the East India Company now.

Movies: Casablanca, High Fidelity, Dr. Strangelove, Hot Fuzz

Music: Tristan Prettyman, Missy Higgins, Mike Dunn and the Kings of New England

Food: Chinese, French, anything with rosemary, pineapple cakes, my quintuple chocolate cookies, grilled cheese sandwiches

TV: Always Sunny, Archer, 30 Rock, Battlestar Galactica seasons 1-3 (don't get me started on the second half of season 4 unless you have a half hour to kill), the less preachy episodes of the West Wing
The six things I could never do without
Single malt scotch, tea (coffee = blech), board games, hot showers, pizza, one more pick to be made later.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Am I the only one who doesn't care about Oxford commas? Why does anyone ever move away from California? The weather and food are so great. Whether it's time to start looking for a new job.
On a typical Friday night I am
On an internet date. It's probably awkward.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I know more Taylor Swift songs by heart than is appropriate for a 30 year-old man.

That's not really that private. Probably that I try really hard to be funny, even though I know that it only works 3/4 of the time and the rest it comes off as mean or offensive.
I’m looking for
  • Straight girls only
  • Ages 23–33
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
I don't have a type. But it'd be great if you were smarter than me. Especially if you're quick witted and can carry on a conversation.