Sitting. on. hands. Will not type. Will NOT. Type.

But I'm curious about what you want to say so bad... That I'm a pig? That now I know how women feel? What? ;)

Really? Okay. First thing first:

How do you know the sex was good? Did she tell you so in words? Or was it good for you and you assume it was also good for her? The information is an important part of this.

Well she seemed to enjoy it, and didn't have any complaints about it... I know that doesn't necessarily mean it was good for her - of course, as a good partner I checked to see if she wanted more attention afterwards ;) The problem for her seemed more emotional, she has some serious hang-ups around sex it seems. She said she doesn't like sex and basically freaked out afterwards... But she also said stuff that made it sound like it wouldn't have really mattered how long we waited, that she always freaks out after sex since she broke up with her ex...

OK. Well, you're never going to be able to tell exactly what's going on in someone's mind and your (anyone's) first mistake is to ever assume you can.

Of course, she said no sex was going to happen, but I'm used to hearing that, I've come to recognize that while they may be saying that, in fact they are the ones bringing up the topic of sex, which should tell you something, haha.

This ^ bothers me. I can't put my finger on exactly why. But it has to do with the same vague sense that you're just no quite understanding or respecting the inner workings of a woman's mind. And how could you, really? Half the time I don't know what emotion I'm going to feel next. BUT - you should never assume.

It's entirely possible that she's embarrassed about "freaking out" and hasn't contacted you for that reason. It's also entirely possible that you thought the sex was good and she was too nice to tell you it wasn't. It's also possible that she immediately knew having sex wasn't the right thing to do because she still had feelings for the ex, or just no feelings for you.

You will never know these things until you ask. And you will always be left wondering the way you are now if you don't get smart and realize the ONLY way to live and love is to communicate and never assume.

Be proactive. If you like her, call her and ask her out again. If she says no, ask her politely if there's a particular reason she doesn't want to. Tell her the truth. Tell her you're not good at figuring out what women are thinking and you'd really like to hear it from her, because YOU thought you had a good time and blah blah blah. You get it, right?

Also, the crazy thing. This bugs me. Are the women you dated in the past truly crazy, as in on meds or requiring supervision? Or did things end badly, with them getting emotional and erratic, which you then labeled as crazy?

Yeah, she basically told me the stuff about not being over her ex, was already crying about it before we did it, and said she gets sad after sex. Then after we did it, she freaked out even more. She said she felt basically like I kind of pressured her into it, but she also said she knew we were going to make out when she came over... And like if I hadn't have been hitting on her, that would have been bad too, right? Actually we have talked since then. She usually takes a couple days to call me back, and is busy when I ask her out. After she freaked out, I'm a bit wary about acting too serious... When the sex thing comes up, she says she doesn't want to talk about it, and that it's not me, she just needs to work things out for herself... She seems concerned about not dogging me altogether, but her interest level seems to have gone way down... I'm basically to the point now where I feel like its on her to call me now - she had no problem doing this before shit went down... Yeah, the crazy thing is just kind of a cliche. I've only had one relationship that actually ended badly. But this one was like telling me up front that she is a bit nutty...

Yeah, all indications are she's just not that into you, to use an over-used phrase. Whether it's because she's still into her ex-boyfriend or she's just in a fragile stage right now, or she just doesn't want to go there with you, in particular. She's not interested or she would make herself un-busy.

Thanks for admitting the generalization with regard to women being crazy. I have a theory that every woman can seem crazy to the wrong guy. And every guy can be a "dick" to the woman he doesn't love. Being in the wrong relationship makes us seem like those stereotypes, when actually, we're just normal people, reacting to negative situations. Women feel their emotions and express all the panic and fear and loss they feel when they aren't getting what they want: Love. Men call this a being "psycho".

Men, on the other hand, pull back and withdraw emotionally, being a "dick", which frustrated women all the more, making them express more, so the men pull back more, etc. :) That's my opinion, at least, and now you have to forgive ME for MY generalization.

One last thing: Of course I'm doing my guy thing, flirting, jumping on any chance to insert a sexual innuendo into the conversation ;)

Have you ever tried not doing this? It's possible that even though she eventually asked if you wanted to have sex, she perceived all of that talk as the pressure she mentioned. Add alcohol and you've got a bad situation. But aside from the idea of this being pressure - it's just kind of annoying. In my opinion. You'd be amazed at the information you can convey with a single look in the middle of a conversation.

Believe me, most people can pick up on those subtle sexual indicators and don't need or want to have someone jumping on every chance to insert sexual innuendo into the conversation. It's not sexy. You have to let a woman decide on her own that she's going to have sex with you. Until then, just relax and have a real conversation without the passive aggressive sexual comments.

You're right, I think, I probably shouldn't do that. I do it sort of as a joke - I'm much better at being a silly flirter than a serious flirter. I'll try to work on that ;)