I'm a night owl, a cynical optimist, a voracious periodical reader (that way I can finish things and not feel guilty about it), and I like to laugh and make others do the same. I can be a nerd and occasionally inadvertently hip. I enjoy community and private time. I love the community I live in and I love my home. I enjoying gardening, dancing (Salsa, Zumba, Square, Contra, Swing, Afro-Haitian, noodley freeform funky), riding my bike, and have a particular passion for xc skiing.

I love games, I love going to concerts and festivals for the live music and general scene. I enjoy a good meal out (or in) with great company.

Others have described me as sexy, quirky, well adjusted, smart, self-aware, comfortable in my skin, funny, affectionate, and as "someone who sticks with you through thick and thin".

I am interested in maintaining emotional balance in my life, strive to understand and be mindful of my actions, be a good parent, and appreciate what I have. I value genuine human connection. I don't take myself too seriously, and get along best with others who share that attitude.

I'm stable, secure, and know myself quite well. No, I'm not perfect. But I do know how to admit a mistake, and how to ask for help, and how to lend a hand. I am seeking a relationship with someone who knows how to nurture and be nutured, how to give and receive, to teach and to learn from each other for mutual growth. And I can be a silly goofball, and hope you are too!

Oh, busy busy busy. I'm parenting an energetic, bright and affectionate 4th grader, connecting with my communities, and plotting my next move. Tending my gardens or XC skiing, depending upon the season. Going to little league games. When I have time I make jewelry. I recently started a blog and am appreciating the practice of regular writing and community building in a different realm.

Professionally, I am a clinical psychologist, and have worked in both academia and non-profits as a researcher and evaluator.

On the home front, I volunteer with two community organizations, and I coordinate the meals program in my cohousing community (we have meals you can sign up for twice a week that are cooked in our common house - it's quite lovely).

Socializing, keeping up with old friends, kvetching, analyzing, empathizing, hugs, staying up late, pinball, giving directions, reading the small print, understanding the big picture, intellectual sparring, back scratching, having fun. Making wisecracks. Making people laugh. Making things grow. Making things taste good. Making it all work out OK somehow.Keeping several balls in the air.

I'm really bad at: holding a grudge, hiding my feelings, one arm pushups.

Probably my long purple-streaked hair, dazzling smile and witty repartee.

BOOKS
I love a book that sucks me in & I can't stop reading it every spare minute until it is devoured. I don't find those very often, but when I do, they are gems. I also appreciate both fiction and non-fiction that is both intelligent and funny. Some of my favorite authors are: T. C. Boyle, Tom Robbins, Augusten Burroughs, Nick Hornby, bell hooks, T. Geisel, Christopher Moore, David Sedaris, Carl Hiaasen, Jennifer Weiner, Jonathan Tropper, Matt Taibbi and Daniel Pinkwater.

I'm really a periodical junkie: Bitch, Brain, Child, Mother Jones, the NY Times, Rolling Stone, Atlantic monthly, Science News... I like the satisfaction of reading something start to finish, that's topical and has taught me something new.

MOVIES
There are too many too name. A few all time faves: Down by Law, Fly Away Home, Across the Universe, Heist (the mamet one). Loved Argo.

HOME VIEWING
I recently treated myself to an HDTV, and love watching it when I have time. Colbert & Stewart are faves, and I enjoy Nova, Mad Men, True Blood, 30 Rock, Key & Peele, Children's Hospital, Breaking Bad, United States of Tara, Hung.

LISTENING
Podcasts: I dig the Moth, Freakonomics Radio, Wait, Wait, This American Life, Fresh Air, Planet Money.

Music: Beatles, Southern Culture on the Skids, Propellerheads, Martin Sexton (saw him play last summer and he was transcendent), Ben Folds, Red Molly, Beck, Greg Brown, Elvis Costello, Guster, Violent Femmes, Ryan Adams, Classic rock (Neil Young, Stones, Broooce, etc) to name but a very few. I love to dance to disco and the old-fashioned dance stuff like Deee Lite, Salt n' Pepa and Sugar Hill Gang. I am having fun with Just Dance on the Wii!

I find that great outdoor music scenes, with smiling people and kids about, really fills my spiritual tank. I've been a regular at the Falcon Ridge Folk Festival for many years, and went to the Gathering of the Vibes the last couple of years.

FOOD
It's a big wide world of culinary delights yet to be discovered. I love most Asian cuisines and most things "ethnic" (except, say, steak and kidney pie). I'm picky about Chinese food, and not so much about pizza (very unusual for a native New yawker). There's not much I *don't* like, but that list is shorter: nuts, seeds, whipped cream, fish eyeball, pumpkin pie, Organ meats, and raw oysters. I love Ice cream (I like to utilize my ice cream maker in the summer), smoked salmon, chocolate and coke zero. Cereal and milk is my primary staple. My cereal collection puts Seinfeld to shame.

The mutual love, caring, support and connection of my family & friends tops the list. Intellectual stimulation, new ideas, analyzing many sides of an issue. Sexual and erotic endeavors. The rest are all nice to have, not need to have: Dental floss, cereal, my home, my kitties, love, transportation, a creative outlet, high quality lube, coke zero, chocolate, ice cream (it's genetic), hair sticks, hugs and kisses and cuddles. And my iphone, ipad and NYT subscription.

* The importance of timing.
* Erotic endeavors. And sometimes about how they relate to timing (see above).
* Why it is that people do what they do
* Ethical non-mongamy
* How to (re)define and (re)configure relationships that are outside of what society expects, and encourage mutual growth, support & understanding
* Why people do not bother to reply to a nice note on OKC.

Sometimes I'm on the ballfield. If not too late, some form of laid back socializing. Sometimes going to a performance or a swing dance. Sometimes hanging at home. Sometimes I am in the car, driving to someplace for the weekend.

I'm ambivalent about monogamy. I'm also ambivalent about polyamory. I feel about polyamory the way I do about Communism - in theory it's fantastic, in practice, it doesn't always work the way the theory predicted.

If some of the things on this list resonate with you:
* If you are interested in having a woman in your life who is intelligent , supportive, sexy, challenging, fun and interesting for a meaningful relationship
* If you are happy with yourself and your life (mostly).
* If you value authentic connection, good communication, emotional groundedness, and high quality kissing.
* If you aren't afraid to call yourself a feminist.
* If you like kids.
* If you value community.
* If social justice is a key organizing theme in your life.
* If you are cute.
* If you know yourself pretty well.
* You are able to deal with conflict and disagreement respectfully. You can debate and you also can listen.
* If your definition of "sex" covers a range of various pleasurable activities.
**And if you aren't terribly offended when I interrupt you (feel free to interrupt me right back). It just means I'm excited about what we're talking about!

I am open to friendship connections, and in fact I have made a couple of wonderful friends through this site.

In an ideal world, I'd like to establish a meaningful romantic/sexual connection for mutual growth, fun & adventures.

You should NOT message me if :
* You are a couple.
* You have anger management issues.
* You are hung up on your ex.
* You are recently out of a previously cohabitory relationship. (OK, I made up that word, but it’s a pretty good one, don’t you think?)
* You are more offended by flag burning than book burning.