Just to prove I'm not all unicorns shitting rainbows, I'm gonna throw in some of the not-so-great things about me, too. I'm realistic and not completely deluded by my own awesomeness.

Firstly, I don't want to waste anyone's time...I am a FAT woman.(never cared for the term BBW) I do not believe that sexy or fit has a size. Oh.....and for those who think that fat girls are like mopeds...keep movin', I'm not interested....I said I was fat, not desperate.

I am a roller derby coach & former player. Now that playing is, sadly, no longer an option for me(because of injury), I coach The Death Rattle Rollers for The Slaughter County Roller Vixens. "Skate fast! Turn left! Hit girls!" My OKC id is also my derby name. I am called Jenocidal more than my given name. Some of my dearest friends have been made through my involvement with derby...awesome (and I mean FUCKING AWESOME) chicks like Hipkittie.

I've always had a punk rock sensibility, but have never been able to pull off the look(and it pisses me off).

I believe in the freedoms of others to say and do as they wish, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.

If you want me somewhere "on time", its best to tell me a fib about what that time really is...I'm usually a little late or just in at the buzzer for most things.

It is an absolute impossibility for me to drive without music & equally impossible for me to listen to music without bobbing my head or tapping an appendage. I TRY not to sing when others are in the car...but mostly, cannot help myself.

I love words. Well written erotiku renders me weak. Also, If you can throw down a Q without a U on a Scrabble board, I will probably think its HOT, brush the board aside and take you down, right then and there(which makes tournament play pretty awkward).

I don't judge books or albums by their covers, nor people by their professions. People are WHO they are, not what they do. I don't give a shit how much you make or what kind of car you drive.

I value experiences over stuff. I live VERY simply. Not into big tvs, new computers , gadgets or toys...most of my furniture came from thrift stores & I drive a $900 car. That being said, I'm not looking for someone to take care of me. I do just fine, thanks.

I am creative...but not artistic. I wish that weren't the case.

If you haven't already figured it out...I swear...A LOT. Swearing does NOT make me any less articulate, creative or expressive than anyone else. I do have a filter and promise not to say F*CK in front of your mom.

I am quick witted, sarcastic, smarter than most, and admit to occasional schadenfreude, but only if its wrought with irony.

I am an awesome roadie mom and derby coach to a kickass, guitar shredding, teenage daughter. I pride myself on her intellect, sense of humor, street smarts, feminist views, musical tastes, and wicked derby skills, as they are a direct result of my tutelage.

I love a good cab/merlot, but have also been called a beer snob...love Nine Pound Porter or any other beer on which you can float a quarter.

I don't like shoes. I would rather be barefoot, wear flip flips or skates...and I lovingly refer to my ugly feet as "troll feet" or "hobbit feet".

A man that can make me snort, spew my drink or make my head fall back in laughter is VERY attractive to me. I like going to comedy clubs and watching stand-up on tv. I find humor in just about everything. (I've always thought that Deuteronomy sounded like it should be what they call the Scientific Study of Dudes.)

I can't help myself...I have an annoying tendency...to over use ellipses...to the point of abuse...see what I mean?

I have sent post cards to Post Secret.

Finally brandishing my first tattoo, given to myself as a liberation present, after 20 yrs in a not-so-great marriage(AWESOME! SHE HAS BAGGAGE, TOO!?!) It is the word WORTHY in script, on my wrist, as a reminder to myself, so I never forget that I am.

I am attracted to those I consider untraditionally handsome. I think people become only more attractive to me when their intellect and humor shine through. Brains and wit are infinitely more alluring to me than looks.

Ultimately...I'm looking to connect with someone who gets me. Someone who can be irreverent and silly....who can take my cutting wit and dish it right back(without being cruel). Someone who understands that my passion for roller derby is not just a phase, and that it is a part of who I am and it makes me very happy.

Finally living my life...making up for lost time.

Being a punk rock style parent

Coaching women/juniors to knock each other down

Stacking rocks

always having duct tape and a Sharpy handy

my flying monkey minions
I kid! I kid! Not a witch, I swear.

in public situations:
My ample size and very blue eyes.

in roller derby situations:
my booming voice yelling at skaters.

I love books, and consume them like most people consume potato chips. There are just too many books to list. I am very well read an appreciate others who are too.

I like indie, documentary and foreign films. Will watch anything with Steve Buscemi. Some movies I like are: Harold & Maude, The Following, Fight Club, American Splendor, Ghost World, Romeo + Juliet, Repo Man, Run Lola Run, The Decline Of The Western Civilization, and The Aristocrats . There is a soft spot in my ♥ for Girls Rock! A Documentary, a doc about Rock Camp For Girls in Portland, that my daughter attends every summer(WE ARE BOTH IN THE MOVIE!)

My musical tastes are wide and varied & run the gamut. Whatever is on KEXP or KUPS...from Schoolyard Heroes(the kid's fault), Elvis Costello, Art Brut,Ramones, Joe Jackson, Dead Can Dance,SRV,Cake(gotta love the vibraslap!),Kay Kay & His Weathered Underground, XTC, I could go on infinitely, but limited myself to only 10....Man, that was HARD! I like going to clubs, whenever I can, to see local music. I prefer local music, made by people I might know & share a beer with. Currently in heavy rotation are: The Redwood Plan, Kay Kay & His Weathered Underground, The Pixies(Doolittle!), The Thermals and Mission of Burma(how could you NOT ♥ lyrics like "Drink only when drunken to"?!)

I'm not the greatest cook, but I like to be adventurous with food. I would rather eat street food than dine in a five star restaurant...usually more flavor all around. I have a foodie crush on Anthony Bourdain & think food is just as much about the experience as it is about taste.

music
my daughter
roller skates/roller derby
friends
humor/laughter
coffee
sex thats right, I break the rules with 7 things and admit that I, too, have needs.

the usual things like the state of the world and my place in it...my daughter's future and happiness...our shiny new life & roller derby!

...oh...and...NORWAHLS...what the fuck?

usually driving the kid and her friends to an all ages show. Friday nights are usually quiet because I coach derby on Saturday mornings.

Boring, I know...maybe if someone gave me a reason to do something more interesting....I would.

I am guilty of having purchased the rap album Standing In The Spotlight by Dee Dee King (aka Dee Dee Ramone)*

*In my defense, it WAS the 80's and I did a lot of coke.(jk...sort of)

you can hold up your end of a conversation.

you have encyclopedic musical knowledge and like to share it.

you knew the words zaftig or schadenfreude without looking them up.

you have read this far and are not terrified.