Well, my name is Jeremy, and I'm an adequate human being. People tell me that I am a funny guy, and I'm generally pleasant to be around (no overly-offensive odors or uncontrollable verbal or motor tics). I'm not an extra-extroverted type of person, but I am very outgoing once I communicate with someone on a regular basis. I'm pretty good at being nice to people, even people I don't particularly care for.

You're probably bored by now, patient reader, so let's delve into some more personal tidbits that will either peak your interest or send you screaming for the nearest 1950s bomb-shelter. I am an insanely devoted Detroit Red Wings fan. I can say, without exaggeration, that I know absolutely everything about the Red Wings, ever (go ahead and test me). I only miss a game when the people who pay me in exchange for my labor force me away from the television (but I'll often keep an updating scoreboard visible on a nearby computer).

I like to write things that make people laugh. I've been published in various literary journals a few times (like that's impressive to anyone besides me). In fact, I like writing in general, so I'll probably be unemployed and/or homeless by the time I'm thirty. In that event, I'll probably fake my own death to avoid my student loans (I'm big into planning, you see.)

I don't really know where I'm going with this. If you can think of a question, go ahead and ask me. I'd love to hear from anyone who isn't just contacting me because I'm an absolute heart-throb. Wait...strike that. I especially want to hear from the girls who think I'm a heart-throb.

I am busily completing a Master's degree in English with a creative writing concentration from Central Michigan University. Eventually, I hope to teach English composition or, ideally, creative writing at a community college level.

I'm currently employed at Central Michigan's Writing Center as a consultant. I work mostly with Freshman writers in ENG 100 and 103 classes. It's a decent gig; I've met a lot of really nice people.

Writing stuff, and hockey trivia. (How profitable, right?)

I have no idea. They might notice my facial hair, I guess. I like to grow a beard to make my face look less fat. Hopefully that's working.

I like whichever books I'm supposed to like, based on what classes I'm taking at the moment. I like a wide array of movies, but I particularly like comedies. My favorite movies include "Airplane!," "Groundhog Day," "American Beauty," "Shawshank Redemption," and others (ending lists with "and others" is such an awesomely foolproof tactic). My favorite shows include "Dexter," "Family Guy," "South Park," "Late Night with Craig Ferguson," and "Jersey Shore" (I don't actually like "Jersey Shore." I just wanted to check and see if you were still reading.) I like classic rock like Led Zeppelin, the Doors, and the Who, but I'm open to all sorts of music (other than Ke$ha or Bieber). I also like food.

1. Oxygen
2. Water
3. Food
4. Indoor plumbing
5. Red Wings' hockey
6. Human contact

My brain is stuck on shuffle. I think of all sorts of weird things in no particular order. I guess I think about my immediate future (stuff happening within the next hour) a lot.

Friday, friday, gotta get down on Friday. Seriously, though, I'm probably sitting around at home.

My Social Security Number has nine digits.

Anyone is allowed to message me. What's the worst that could happen?