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35 Oxnard, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25-50
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Jan 11, 2014
5' 7" (1.71m)
Body Type
Special Diet
Not at all
Catholicism but it’s not important
Doesn’t have kids but might want them
Has dogs
English, Russian (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello, internet! I'm really easygoing, enjoy movies, lots of different rock genres, and I laugh at super inappropriate things/times. And, er, I look like a Swede who got shrunk, but I'm actually Russian. No clue how that worked out.

I'm a former stand-up comedian, so I have a really weird sense of humor. If you laugh at really terrible stuff, I'll laugh right with you.

I don't drink or do any drugs, but I'm fine if my date drinks. But hard drugs are a total deal-breaker. I'd just rather not deal with the drama, or someone who's strung out.

Err... and I'm one of those social fish-out-of-water. I have been single for eight years, and decided recently that the hiatus is over... so, yeah. I know, that's weird. Anyhow, it's safe to say I have absolutely no idea how getting back into the dating scene works. So if you'd like to say hello, please do. You'll find that I'm not a rabid jerk.

If there's anything else you'd like to know, I'd be happy to answer.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Enjoying it! I currently sponsor people and am pursuing an Associates degree to become a drug and alcohol counselor.

Most days I'm having a blast, trying not to take myself too seriously. I just like enjoying the company of positive people.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Conveying an opposing opinion without pissing off the other party, video games (Yeah, sorry. Long-time nerd here.), getting totally lost while driving... or am I really bad at navigation?
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not sure most people notice me to begin with, haha.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Most Stephen King novels (I like scary stuff), the Wheel of Time series, Lord of the Flies, Catcher in the Rye, Of Mice and Men, 1984, Brave New World, the works of J.R.R. Tolkien, Fight Club, and I've got a penchant for reading books on serial killers. Don't know what's up with that.

Movies: Star Wars(!!!!), Goodfellas, Stand by Me, Lost Boys, American History X, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Goonies, Night of the Living Dead, Dawn/Day of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Lord of the Rings, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Trick R Treat, Fight Club, Boondock Saints, Reservoir Dogs, Sin City, Pulp Fiction, Donnie Brasco, The Departed, Mystic River... and this is enough, right?

Shows: The Sopranos, Oz, Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy, Mad Men, Hell on Wheels, and I love watching tons of stand-up.

Music: 90's grunge/rock (Huge Alice in Chains fan), Alkaline Trio, Social Distortion, Misfits, Lamb of God, Tom Waits, Rise Against, RDGLDGRN, Blitzkid, Chevelle, Johnny Cash, and on and on.

Food: Eggplant parm and calzone any day of the week.

There wasn't a video game section... for a person like me, that's bordering on sacrilege. So here we go.

Games: GTA series, Oblivion, Skyrim, Far Cry series, Red Dead Redemption, Max Payne series, Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Saints Row series, The Darkness... and I'm gonna lose cool points for this, but I'm a longtime WoW player. Sorry.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. My puppy.
2. Family
3. Friends
4. Entertainment
5. A sense of humor
6. The really screwed up unrelated crap that pops up during a Web search
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Tomorrow and yesterday, mostly. Or how I'd fare in a zombie apocalypse. I figure within two hours of it, I'd be shuffling down the street looking for brains.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Tying up the week's loose ends, then I usually just want to watch a movie or hang out with the puppy.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Nice try, officer. Alright, fine. Clowns scare the ever-living shit out of me.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're sick of being disappointed by people that don't know what they're looking for. So am I. You're witty, nerdy, sweet, honest, and looking for someone that's going to accept that same person that showed up on the first date the same way years from now. Oh. And chatty... because I sure as hell can't carry a great conversation without a little help. If you're looking for tall, dark, and handsome - I'm not it. I'm short, light, and have only ever been referred to as "cute". But I do wish you luck in your hunt for the sasquatch.