I moved to St. Catharines under dubious circumstances. I made some powerful enemies and need a clean break on the down-low. Before you bust-a-nut secret-spy style I should let you know it isn't always daring-daylight robberies and hyphanating-akimbo with me. OH HELL NO.

I can be lame and boring too, just like your mom. I like boardgames, Indie rawk music, vinyl, Art, knitting, video games, Avant garde movies,tourist attractions, Drinking and sharing misguided attempts at wit/intelligence.

Im a talker, a lover and a fighter. a comrade of men, and a romancer of women.

Im looking to meet other bisexual or lesbian gals for coffee/cocktails/ planning elaboarate bank heists.

Coffee and gestures, smoking and laughing. Talking and thinking. Awaiting springtime and all it's thick, lavish promise of pool parties and patios. In more tangible terms, Im occupationally slumming.

I got this idea, in times between passion- make as much money as possible doing as little as possible. You'll be happier. So I apply for jobs some might consiter....under my expertise, if you will. I know a lot of money will flow through my hands as I transverse through this life, so I take what I can and spend it on $17 eyelash curlers and other things I fleetingly suspect will cheer me up. You should make enough money to keep you contently tit deep in wine, women and song- and I do.

Flirting with waitstaff, disscussing movies, political rhetoric, being skeptical, producing obscure trivia, rude jokes, Baking and cooking, cutting people's hair.

Good Teeth.

I'm a really big girl, built sturdy but not stacked. BBW is I guess the current terminology. I prefer "Aggressively Rubenesque"

In "Portnoy's Complaint" Our hero speculates on where his first serious girlfriend is today. She was thick and grounded, and he says he bet's she's gotten big, big as a house, as she would need this large, physical presence to showcase her enormous personality.

Books: I like Phillip Roth, Robert Musil, Sapphire, E.E Cummings, Ibsen, Albee, Camus.

I'm a fan of many directors including: David Lynch,George Sluizer, Catherine Breillat and Christophe Honore. I also have a very modest collection of Criterions, I don't think most people get what films are supposed to be like, and therefore hail movies like Fight Club to be a bloody etude.

Ive worked for a few music stores in my day and have a huge collection of CDs and LPs. I loathe people who ask "what music do you like?" because noone who's really into music can answer that simply. I believe music is either a "you get it, or you don't" kind of scenario. I prefer to ask people "So, what are you into lately?"

Answer: Neko Case, Woody Guthrie, Bonnie Prince Billy, The Music Tapes, The Marshmallow Coast, Townes Van Zandt, Justice, Harry Nilsson, The Mamas and The Papas, The New Pornographers, M. Ward, The Hidden Cameras, Peaches, Pretty Things, The Kinks, The Silver Jews, Elvis Costello, Tom Waits, The Minders, Entrance, Clinic, Xiu Xiu, Of Montreal, The Beach Boys, Lefty Frizzell, Peaches.

Basically: everything good, and relevant.

I can think of six things I would be Uncomfortable to go without:

1. People who can take a hilarious insult.

2. A fucking opinion on Goddamn EVERYTHING (That's my dad talking, Bless.)

3. The constant, hollow, dead-eyed bleeting companionship of the Internet.

4. Diet Soda

5. Hay Feeling Hof Haccomplishment

6. Video games where your sole mission is to aim at Zombies and fire a gun like michael J. Fox with zero refills on his Benserazide Perscription.

Okay, so you know how all the different tastebuds are grouped? if you somehow damaged the tastebuds on one area of your tongue, would something lose it's flavor, or would your brain attempt to compansate by making ice cream taste savory or something?

On Okcupid checking out the local "talent" They're always on my case to answer more questions about myself. Iv'e already answered like, 700.

"We can currently only match you up to 99%"? THATS FINE OKCUPID. SERIOUSLY. Im not sure I'd want to go on a date with my exact genetic duplicate. We'd probably show up wearing the same outfit, God, how embarassing.

...

Everyone's Profile in this section should read: "Be not ugly or retarded and live somewhat near me." Which should be a given. Unless you live far away, but feel you would really take a shine to the person. In that case, Likelyhood of being BFF's should increase expodentially with Distance away.

If you live in and around St. Kittens, don't hesitate to rattle off a message to me about yourself.