24 Boyce, VA
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My self-summary
Home is Maryland, on the back of a horse in the woods of the state park, minutes from downtown Baltimore, summers fishing on the Chesapeake Bay and good times in Ocean City. College was southern Virginia, liberal arts, the Blue Ridge Mountains, lacrosse, Italy and the Bahamas. Post-grad was a 9 month stint in SoCal, interning with marine mammals, waitressing, lifeguarding, and coaching highschool lacrosse; at the same damn time. It was learning that you have to do what you must to do what you want and that weekends are simply a mindset. Then it was a year long wildlife rehab apprenticeship in Texas, the beautiful hill country and 70 hour weeks, San Antonio, Austin, big open spaces, a weird fondness for big dirty trucks, native wildlife, exotic wildlife, livestock and three enclosures of feral cats. It was mental toughness and compassion fatigue and living on a compound with 20 other women and seeing exactly what it is that I don't want. And now it's Virginia again, native wildlife, a livable wage, a real job, a new place, and no friends.
Everybody wants to be out in the woods and the mountains but we forget that it's hard to find other people in the thick of all those trees.
What I’m doing with my life
I like to pretend I'm a professional. I'm currently a licensed wildlife rehabilitator which means I get to tell people what to do when they find animals and bring baby animals home with me, which means a social life is really difficult.
So I try jokes.
A woman brought a gosling in once, for example.
"What kind of gosling is this?" She asked.
After examining him closely, I replied "He looks like he might be Canadian, so he's probably a Ryan Gosling."

Yes, I get a salary to do what I do.
I’m really good at
Riding horses, ponies, feral pigs, etc.
Identifying what that silhouette is flying in the sky.
Spouting random animal facts that have no use for everyday people.
Eating everything on my plate.
The first things people usually notice about me
My blue eyes, sarcasm, smile, and how much food I can eat
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
The only movie I can say I honestly don't like is "She's the Man"
No, Amanda Bynes, nobody fucking plays soccer with her long ass hair whipping around in her face. Nobody.
The six things I could never do without
- Cheese
- A notebook and writing utensil
- A large body of water
- Wildlife
- Continual learning
- Good people
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Birds and how fucking cool they are
Ecology and conservation
Feminism and gender issues
The book I've been waiting to write for 6 years
When and what I'm going to eat next
How I'm making it to Australia
On a typical Friday night I am
Probably feeding baby squirrels, or skunks, or something else weird.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have been pooped and peed on by a large variety of animals and none of them were R. Kelly
You should message me if
You can teach me something new and tell me the best adventure you've done locally.
You know of a good scary movie I haven't seen yet