**Do not ask me for a massage if you think you're going to get it for free. You aren't special enough for me to spend time working for free when I have clients who pay, sorry. So please stop inquiring, because it's just annoying as hell.
I JUST GRADUATED FROM NHI! WOO! (20121017 <3)
I make shit with beads.
Hey baby, I noticed you noticing me; so, I just want to put you on notice that I noticed you too.
All I care about is sex and violence,
a heavy bassline is my kind of silence.
Curiosity killed the cat
But satisfaction brought her back.
Fun fact 20: I am an audiophile and astrophile.
Fun fact 10: I am full of adorable catch phrases and cheeky repartee. (exempli gratia: don't trip chocolate chip, what's the word hummingbird, what's up buttercup, how's it hangin' and bangin', what's crackin': who you mackin' (thank you Colin), can do cockatoo, see you later alligator/in a while crocodile, what's cookin' good lookin', what's the angle of the dangle, et cœtera)
Fun fact 8: I never go anywhere without my Gnarly hat.
Fun fact 13: Due to accidental Pavlov's Dog type training, whenever an Avicii song comes on, I have an unnatural urge to make a sandwich.
Fun fact 22: I drive a '95 Jeep Grand Cherokee with a Salt Life decal and a USMC and a Horde decal; if you see me rockin' out in my car, you should wave hello.
Fun fact 6: I am one of the only therapists on the West Coast who routinely does 5-6 hour bodywork sessions.
Fun fact 9: I totally want to trade pictures with you, I would absolutely love to sext with you, I work as an escort, and I'm looking for a sugar daddy to spoil me.
Fun fact 9.5: Did I mention I love sarcasm?
Fun fact 2: I coined the phrase "getting festive".
Fun fact 18: I drive with my leg up on the dashboard.
Fun fact 4.1: I am obsessed with my rectus abdominus.
Fun fact 4.2: I am obsessed with buying make up.
Fun fact 4.3: I am obsessed with defined jaw lines.
Fun fact 4.4: I am obsessed with making mix CDs.
Fun fact 4.5: I am only slightly obsessed with making lists.
Fun fact 1: I kiss on the first date.
Fun fact 24: Sometimes I sing my mates to sleep.
Fun fact 15: I usually hit the gym twice a day.
Fun fact 7: I name my cats after motorcycles (Had a Harley, Kawasaki, and Gixxer. Currently have a Yamaha and Suzuki.)
Fun fact 19: I have vintage video game night where I play N64, NES, Sega, Atari, and PS1 games.
Fun fact 3: I have an oral fixation (thusly a small reason of why I smoke).
Fun fact 31: I sing along to dubstep songs.
Fun fact 5: I can, and will, go-go dance on stage or in the crowd for 2 - 6 hours straight.
Fun fact 17: My last name means "water goddess".
Fun fact 26: I have unlimited amounts of adorable flirty swag.
Fun fact 11: Played WoW for four years: Belf huntard, Crashridge for life <3 (I don't game seriously anymore, but I play some FPSs and RPGs occasionally.)
Fun fact 29: Due to the fact that I'm almost always alone at work, I wander around half naked when it's clever.
Fun fact 18.5: I drive with my leg up on the dashboard and occasionally with my foot out the window.
Fun fact 14: The color of my tank top almost always reflects the color of my skivvies.
Fun fact 21: I use military jargon and time/date format even though I'm not part of the armed forces.
Fun fact 16: I have to eat steamed rice at least 3 times a week and take my shoes off before I walk through a house, regardless if I'm asked to or not.
Fun fact 23: Varying from day to day, I usually smell like St. Ives' Oatmeal & Shea Butter or Güd's Orange Body Butter lotion.
Fun fact 30: I have ridiculously smooth legs; if we ever meet up, I give you full and total permission to see for yourself.
Fun fact 48: I tan with tape over my nips and a thong to minimize tan lines. (I thoroughly dislike them.)
Fun fact 27: I prefer weaponry over jewelry. Sure, diamonds are shiny, but Deagles make me go all mushy inside.
Fun fact 36: Schmear > Cream Cheese.
Fun fact 41: I start every day off with a cup of coffee and a cigarette, and I end it with 2-3 hours at the gym.