I'm an American living in Finland. Currently in an intermediate Finnish class.
I've found Finnish women are nice, but aren't so good at staying put. Not a problem, but at some point I would like an actual girlfriend. Crazy idea, no?
The kind of girl I want has to do three things:
1) Inspire my creativity. I'm a writer (published, even!). And an artist. And an enthusiastic reader. And a million other things I want to be if I just had someone to do them with. I want someone that ignites that. I want someone that understands what it is to have all sorts of crazy ideas bursting out of your head and needing to let them out and show them to people. I want someone that knows what it's like to do something creative or artistic. I don't care if it's singing or reading or drawing or playing the flute or acting or practicing underwater basket-weaving. I don't even care if you're particularly good at it. Just have a passion for *something.* Or be passionate about something that the rest of the world considers absolutely irrelevant. Because you like it, and that makes it important. Manga, 1930s pulp literature, Egyptian tombs, interesting boils of Renaissance Italy, it doesn't matter, and it doesn't matter if *I* care about it. What's important is that *you* have something you care about and are enthusiastic about and will show that enthusiasm to people (to ME!!!) and do something besides sitting in front of the goddamn television (or hanging out in bars) and rotting your mind away.
I want a reader. Yes! Someone who likes reading and is always on the lookout for the next book on their list! Readers tend to have imagination.
It's really sick. I'm 33 years old and have always managed to end up around these bottom-feeders that don't do anything, don't want to do anything, and act offended that I want to do things. My favorite are the people who do a lot of things, tell me all about them, but then when I start seeing them they stop that since "Now it's time to be serious." AAAHHHHHHHH!!! YOU ARE SO DUMPED! In my free time, I read, I write, and I study the traditions of art forms that most people believe are pure trash. When I'm actually with someone, I don't want to "hang out." I want to DO STUFF. Or else I'd stay home and do the things I do when I'm alone. That's how I relax. I don't need help to relax. I need people to do things with.
Brains, people. And activity. Both physical and mental. They are more important than your tits.
2) Be a real person. Say what you mean and mean what you say and speak your damn mind. People shouldn't be a mystery novel. If you're on a dating site, YOU WANT TO MEET PEOPLE. So don't act like you're some frail little victim-to-be in a dark alley when someone tries to talk to you. Don't sit around and wonder why you aren't being asked to do the things you want. STAND UP. TALK! I thought this was Europe. Empowered women! Where the hell are you?
And stay away from this "woman logic" crap. Little tests to see if the guy REALLY cares. I'm an open damn book. If I say I like something about you, don't say to me the next day that you've changed that as a test. If I like you, there are reasons. Not some nebulous spirit that is vaguely "you" that I'm supposed to fall in love with or something. You are the things you do, the things you are. If you change yourself, then my opinion of you will change to fit. This isn't rocket science. I like what I like. I won't lie to you. But I'm not a slave, either.
3) Be a wildcat in bed. I know, I know, it's bad form to mention sex on a dating site (like none of you reading this actually like sex, right?), but if you suck in bed, then it really doesn't matter what you're personality is like or what you look like. Being satisfied in bed is important to me (and if you say it isn't important to you, you're lying). Sorry. :P But it's OK. My standards for "good in bed" aren't some ridiculous ideal. I've just lived my sexual life by one standard: Good lovers don't say no. If a woman has some wild, crazy, and/or stupid idea... of course I'll try it! That's what makes it *fun*! But, again, all I seem to find are these unimaginative women that seem to freak out at the idea of having *fun* in bed.
In short: I'm not stupid, I'm not boring, and I'm not ugly. I'm tired of being with idiots just to deal with loneliness. There are good people... no, to hell with good. I've been with good people that are about as exciting as watching grass grow. There are INTERESTING PEOPLE out there that will wipe all this sarcasm and disillusionment away. Where are you?
If you want to talk more, my messenger address is lotfp@hotmail.com...
IRC Galleria & Suomi24 Nickname: JimLotFP
www.lotfp.com
www.myspace.com/lotfp
I am imaginative, intense, and a bit confused