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50ShadesofPasty

36 M Mount Prospect, IL

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 28–42
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 7:06pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Hispanic / Latin, White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Overweight
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Sales / Marketing
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Remix time: starting this thang from scratch, the old one was showing it's age. Taking a new approach; rather than the whole "I'm a fun spirited guy who like walks on the beach, blah blah blah" I'm just going to spill my brain out and see what happens.

I like the smell of conditioned air, and hose water.

Cats> dogs> everything else.

The 80's had the best cartoons.

I play with action figures. They are soooo great and I refuse to grow out of lovin' them!

Fully believe that je ne sais quoi is a big part of attraction.

I age normally, but mature in reverse.

I was a nerd before being a nerd was cool. I have nerd-entitlement and feel hostile towards fake nerds.

Hipster guys are terrible, but hipster girls are cute. Double standard, I know. DONT JUDGE ME!

I'd rather be lucky than good. I'm neither.

I have the death sentence in twelve systems!

Lists are easier than composing meaningful sentences.

I hate having to capitalize and correct my spelling just in case a potential match regards it as a positive quality.

Sleeping is the most delicious thing in the whole wide world. Then Pizza.

Donatello is my favorite ninja turtle.

Soundwave superior; Autobots inferior.

I am a nice guy, but always find villains more interesting.

I can't watch the Crow without tearing up near the end. Braveheart either now that I mention it.

I will be the last person on earth to own a smartphone.

Sometimes, I curse uncontrollably. Sometimes, it's just fun to say @#%&^$%.

I am lazy. Really, really lazy. Yes, lazier than that. And that. Keep going.

I've never been to a concert, ever, in my whole life.

Is this formatting getting on your nerves? It must not be too terrible since you got this far. Unless you skimmed down to this line. In that case back to where you started cheater!

Video game music and Movie scores are a both high art forms.

I have poor impulse control. Like the dog in Pixars Up. SQUIRREL!

Best Final Fantasy? 7. Then 2. No arguement.

Best Trek captain? Sisko. No arguement.

Best Doctor Who? Tennant, Doctor 10. Again..you know the drill. Seriously, who DIDN'T tear up when the Doctor and Rose got separated??

I dislike most pop music, but out of laziness, it's most of what I listen to.

The only pop I drink is diet. Which is odd because the rest of my diet would make a garbage disposal blush.

I can do a really great grumpy cat impression.

That sorta covers it, Seacrest OUT!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
SPRING FEVER! Seriously, I never gave much credence to the concept, but the weather has me feeling...spirited.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Putting people at ease. I have a zen-like aura. This is a scientific fact.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My swag. YOLO.

Just kidding, it's my boobs! Ok, ok, still kidding, it's my height, and then my boobs.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Here we go:

Food: Pizza, Chinese, and Puerto Rican cuisine. Can't get enough of these, and If someone were to make a pie chart out of my contents, there would be be big sections of pie (mmmm pie) labeled with those foods. Also quite partial to pasta with rich cream sauce that you regret in the morning, corn dogs when you can find em, and malted milk. That you regret in the morning.

Movies: Sci-fi, action, a good comedy, drama once in a while and being surprised by something I would not normally pick. Some favorites are Star Wars and Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, Aliens, Most of the Marvel movies, the New Batman, Serenity, Transformers, Cabin in the Woods, Pacific Rim, Predator, Terminator.

Shows: Stuff I've been turned on to, or that I've drifted into from recommendations. Currently it's: Masterchef, Transformers Prime, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Parks and rec, Continuum, Walking Dead, Revolution, New Girl, How I met your mother.

Books: I don't get nearly enough time to read lately due to work, but when I do, it's either sci-fi/ fantasy, or horror. Last great book I read was World War Z...Modern masterpiece.

I'm also really into comics- mostly graphic novels of books that are highly regarded. Saga, Bone, Daredevil, Animal Man, X-statix, Moon Knight, Power Girl, Astro City, East of West, Walking Dead, on and on and on.

Music I can take or leave. I worked in a music store for six years, and I've never recovered. There are some songs and artists that I really like, but they tend to be things that really separate themselves from the pack. Almost every song I like right now, I've stumbled on accidentally.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Sleep.
Caffeine.
My cat, the incomparable Sniffies!
Something to read.
An internet connection.
Transformers.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What I'm going to have for dinner. It's an important decision.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At home, With my cat sleeping somewhere nearby, relaxing after a week of work. Or out with friends doing something nerdy like playing Star Trek, or board game night. Or watching some TV. Reading a graphic novel.

Exciting, I know. Hold on to your butts.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I talk to my cat. A lot. In one of those annoying voices. You know the kind.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are a dork. You think Peter Jackson, Gene Roddenberry and George R. R. Martin are genius. Sir Patrick Stewart is a role model to you. You want to learn to learn to fly an X-wing or don't find it odd that I do. You still watch cartoons. You can quote Aliens. You want to be entertained. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

I would like to meet someone who I have a 100% enemy rating with. It would be like meeting Lex Luthor, or Khan! KHHAAAAAAANNN!!!!!!!!

Please no one from an alternate universe. I had a dream about this, it would just be too complicated.