NOTA BENE: Not interested. In anything. Sorry. This profile is merely for archive purposes. No messages will be answered (unless they are remarkable).
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I write songs and melodic lies, fiction and poetry and something inbetween, a kind of connection between my subconscious and my hand that bypasses most parts of my brain. I think in colors and try in vain to make a physical representation of what dashes through my mad brain. Life is entertainment: I understood culture jamming intuitively before I knew what it was called.

Here are some things I love:

ROCK 'N' ROLL, music in general (singing, writing songs, listening to music, and pretending to play various instruments - usually guitar), creative writing, foreign languages, nonsense, playing with my band, beat culture, reading anything and everything, elegant madness, animals, nature, surrealism, lies, traveling, people who are intelligent and yet don't need to speak in five-syllable words, finding beauty in unexpected places, laughing until I get lightheaded and need to lie down on the floor, being a student of life, saving the planet, people who don't need to understand something to enjoy it, black leather, androgyny, anthropology, politics, men in suits, dada, open minds, being contrary, dressing like a gay glam boy (which I sometimes am, at heart), meaningful conversations, Discordianism, fifties music/sixties music/seventies music/eighties music (basically anything that happened before I was born), all sorts of tea, Hunter S. Thompson/Friedrich Nietzsche/John Cage/Albert Einstein/and too many more heroes of mine to list, Scotland (it's my heartland), Germany (it's my other heartland), Slash (and by slash I mean the guitarist... primarily), philosophy, anti-philosophy, subphilosophy (that's when you take philosophy and turn it inside-out and shake it upside down a few times and assign it an entirely random name, rank, and level of hysteria), having subphilosophical conversations on IM at three in the morning with people I've never met, self-education, playing drinking games with God and the devil (sometimes Santa Claus comes along too, if he's not too busy), denying the existence of gender, dressing up to go nowhere, being confused... and making friends, if you're still reading. :) P. S. I'm also into life, the universe, and everything, if you like that kinda stuff.

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: I am an introvert. If you think you know what an introvert is, you're probably wrong. Please inform yourself by reading this.

I graduated from college with a major in German Studies (concentration in translation), but am still planning to be a rock star someday. During my undergraduate years I spent my days attending wonderful but exhausting classes and working my job (at a graduate school for environmental studies), and my nights doing homework, reading, writing stories and songs, and doing my obsessively planned-out daily regime of foreign language study (currently working on German, French, Dutch, Mandarin Chinese, and Croatian). Now I'm at graduate school in Germany, studying translation (or as they like to call it in this particular program, "Translatologie") and working two website localization jobs on the side.

Writing songs. Besides that, there are a lot of things I'm pretty good at – or even quite good at – but since I already have a pretty healthy opinion of me, I won't let myself say that I'm REALLY good at anything else. :)

My Neptunian accent.

Books: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (by Douglas Adams), In Watermelon Sugar (by Richard Brautigan), Invisible Cities (by Italo Calvino), The Man Who Was Thursday (by G. K. Chesterton), Road Kill (by Kinky Friedman), The Historian (by Elizabeth Kostova), The Screwtape Letters (by C. S. Lewis), The Dirt (by Mötley Crüe), Thus Spoke Zarathustra (by Friedrich Nietzsche), The Last Days of Socrates (by Plato), Triple Zeck (by Rex Stout), Gulliver's Travels (by Jonathan Swift), The Picture of Dorian Gray (by Oscar Wilde), The World of Jeeves (by P. G. Wodehouse), many more!

Movies: Spinal Tap, The Blues Brothers, Some Like It Hot, The Boondock Saints, Monsieur Hulot's Holiday, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Don Juan DeMarco, Schindler's List, Grizzly Man, Fear Strikes Out, Blackboard Jungle, Brideshead Revisited, In Bruges, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Manchurian Candidate, Velvet Goldmine, many more.

Music: Alice Cooper, Johann Sebastian Bach, The Band, The Beatles, The Blind Boys of Alabama, Luigi Boccherini, Bon Jovi, Marco Borsato, David Bowie, Jeff Buckley, Nick Cave, Adriano Celentano, Ray Charles, Eric Clapton, The Clash, Phil Collins, The Comedian Harmonists, The Corries, Creedence Clearwater Revival, CSNY, Joe Dassin, Dire Straits, Fats Domino, Bob Dylan, The Eagles, Falco, The Felice Brothers, Flogging Molly, Ganz Schön Feist, Genesis, Herbert Grönemeyer, Guns N Roses, George Frideric Handel, Hanoi Rocks, George Harrison, Ronnie Hawkins, Alan Jackson, Billy Joel, Elton John, David Jones, Khaled, The Kingston Trio, Ladysmith Black Mambazo, John Langstaff, Jan Josef Liefers, Udo Lindenberg, Charles Manson, Felix Mendelssohn-Bartholdy, Reinhard Mey, Mötley Crüe, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Xavier Naidoo, Willie Nelson, Ayub Ogada, Tom Petty, Placebo, John Prine, Die Prinzen, Pur, Max Raabe & das Palast-Orchester, Bonnie Raitt, The Ramones, Paul Robeson, Robert Schumann, Shakira, Paul Simon, Simon & Garfunkel, Percy Sledge, Chris Smither, Bruce Springsteen, Suede, James Taylor, Richard Thompson, The Travelling Wilburys, U2, Keith Urban, Tom Waits, the Wise Guys (German, not US), Neil Young, Zaz, Warren Zevon, all my FAWM friends, old-time bluesmen, strange 80s bands, music by people who don't exist, and tons more.

Food: Come on, you can't seriously be implying that food is on the same level with books and music!

1. Music
2. Something to write on and with
3. Foreign cultures to explore
4. A way to constantly keep learning
5. My best friend/sister
6. Time to myself

I try not to think. Lao Tzu said "Stop thinking, and end your problems." Speaking of which, I think I'll use this section to display a few of my favorite quotations, which explain me as well as anyone who never knew me could.

The first mistake of art is to assume that it's serious.
- Lester Bangs

I never know how much of what I say is true.
- Bette Midler

Lord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.
- Stephen Leacock

In the work of every genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.
- Rodin

Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.
- Shakspear

The mark of an educated mind is that it is able to entertain an idea without accepting it.
- Aristotle

One must have chaos in one's self in order to give birth to a dancing star.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

As an artist, it is central to be unsatisfied! This isn't greed, though it might be appetite.
- Lawrence Calgagno

Anything too stupid to be said is sung.
- Voltaire

One, two, three / Buckle my shoe.
- Robert Benchley

But on a typical Tuesday afternoon, I'm generally not

I find it very difficult to act like myself. I fall in love with people in whose presence it is possible.

you want to be friends. What kind of friends am I looking for? Strange people. Other aliens. Cowboys. Intelligent people. Unpretentious people. People who aren't people. Figments of someone else's imagination. Sick people. Spiritual people. People who are anti-everything, or sometimes pro-everything. Cool cats. Successful businessmen who feel trapped in their lives. Genuine people, and people who tell nothing but lies (those two aren't mutually exclusive, by the way). Reincarnated people who are a little confused. People who just got out of the asylum and can't wait to get back, because it was so much saner in there. Unethical sugarcubes. People who don't dye their hair, because the natural color of it frightens them and they like to be frightened. People who've been to the top and prefer the bottom. People from other countries. People who wish they were from other countries. People who, since November 4 2008, for the first time in their lives DON'T wish they were from another country. Fellow Discordians. People who can appreciate the lyrics of both Bob Dylan and The Ramones. People who have more than one facet. People who don't fit any of the above criteria, and can't quite figure out why.