Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
To start, my name is Jesse. I use humor to deflect my insecurities.
Plus, I'm hilarious. So don't hate. Also, I'll get this out of the
way now, since it's apparently a deal breaker. I don't currently
work, nor live on my own. I'm currently in rehabilitative services
to find out what I can do for work, and I rent a room from my Old
Man. I have my own money, don't need yours.
Now that that's out of the way, let's see, I'm a Jack-of-All
Trades, when it comes to knowledge; I know a little about
everything and a lot about nothing. The shark in "Jaws" was named
Bruce, after Steven Spielberg's lawyer.
I do things to make others laugh, generally at my own expense. If
you can't laugh at yourself, you take life entirely too seriously.
Lighten up, you only live once.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Living, recovering, being stubborn. You know? The usual life stuff.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Breaking things. Dunno why. It's a gift, I suppose. And stitching.
Not clothes, unless you count buttons, but wounds. I've had my
scrapes and haven't always had insurance or been in the vicinity of
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a big guy. Big as in broad shouldered. Not big as in big boned.
Besides, you ever seen a fat skeleton? Also, why do they not have a
burly/stocky choice under body type?
Either that or the whole Two-Face thing I'm rocking.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Book wise - The Dresden Files, Sandman Slim, Iron Druid series,
Mortal Coils series, If Chins Could Kill, How to Make Love: The
Bruce Campbell Way, Got Fight?, Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down,
just to name a few.
Movie wise - I'm a guy, give me a movie that has an explosion in
it, and I'm happy.
T.V. wise - It depends on my mood. Some main stays are Castle, Burn
Notice, GoT, Archer, and Firefly.
Music wise- Varies depending on the situation. From Rock to Rap to
Honky Tonk to Classical.
Food wise- Anything that tastes good. And no, avocado does not
taste good. But that's just my opinion.
I don't tolerate Twi-hards. It's an affront to all things cinematic
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Well, I'm gonna go with necessity, so really just the basics. I've
done without most at one point or another.
Food-Don't need it, but it's good stuff
Water-All I ever really drink. Unless you count whiskey. But that's
made with water, so it counts.
Sunglasses/Glasses-My eyes are light sensitive. So it's a
necessity. Plus, I wear glasses now.
My dog-He's a 100lb lap dog. I know I'll have to live without him
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I probably should've put some actual thought into this, but I get
easily distracted at times. Plus, I was busy suplexing a shark
wearing a bolo tie. You may ask, "Who was wearing the bolo
The answer is "Yes."
Plus, a lot of random things. I'll start on on thought
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'm generally out hunting monsters or aliens. What's that? You say
it's not possible because you've never seen a monster or alien?
That's because I'm damn good at what I do. You're welcome.
Also, I laugh in the face of Danger. I'm like, "Ha, Danger! You're
dumb! You have an ugly face, which isn't as hot as my face! Which
is totally hot!"
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Now, I know some of you are wondering, "HOLY CRAP, WHAT HAPPENED TO
HALF YOUR FACE?!?!"
Funny story, actually. I auditioned for the role of Two Face, back
when The Dark Knight came out. I figured making half my face
malleable for make-up and such would make me a lock for it. I was
sure I had the gig in hand, but the studio went with Aaron Eckhart,
based solely on the fact that, ya know, he could actually act. The
Truth of the matter is I had a golfball sized brain tumor removed
from my head back in 2010. It stretched out and shifted my brain,
so somehow, it cause partial, temporary, palsy on one side. Yes,
temporary, but it's a slow recovery process, apparently. But, on
the plus side, I get to play the brain cancer card when I don't
wanna do something and people don't question it. So yeah, go me. I
should probably be dead, but I'm too stupid to die when I'm
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Why the hell not? You've got nothing to lose by doing so, or if you
wanna really know something about me, because let's face it, I
haven't really told you anything, hit the button and ask. Or, if
you just want to know random facts, because I am a fountain of
useless trivia that will cause you to forget something incredibly
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