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21 San Diego, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–23
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Nov 24
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Not at all
Atheism, and very serious about it
Graduated from high school
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Life would be infinitely easier if everyone just stopped their bullshit and followed this:

I saw this on Reddit and it's quite true:

To females: guys are stupid. You literally do have to say exactly what you want. Don't try to be coy or subtle or leave "hints." Just say it. You'll be AMAZED at how well this works.

As I've gotten older and have done more introspection, I have come to the conclusion that it is close to impossible to give an accurate description of the awkward, outspoken, headstrong, yet unsure contradiction that I am. If you scan, you will miss crucial details. I know it's long. It has to be that way.

To the person meeting me for the first time, I may seem fairly normal. I can carry conversation, navigate through various situations that life presents, and exit without leaving a bitter aftertaste. But I feel that almost is a facade, a vague veil thrown up to allow myself to navigate through society. Not in a necessarily negative way, either. I feel that what I have dealt with in life has left me with a complex amount of conflicting emotions and thoughts.

Given my past and having realized what an absolute monstrosity my childhood was (it's a complex issue. If you want to message me about any of the fucked up things I've endured, I will be happy to relay the stories. While they may have been awful at the time, now they serve the purpose of helping you understand.), I can count myself lucky that I am not a serial killer. That being said, there is much that needs to be explained if you are to delve into my world. All of my sections are going to be long, but, like anything lengthy, understanding shall hopefully come if you stick with it.

I proceed through life with complete honesty and the best intentions. Due to social ostracization as a child and teenager, I did not fully develop flawless social skills, though as I entered adulthood I have improved this quite a bit, mostly through my one and only learning process of trial and error. However, sometimes I am accidentally rude or over-the-top, but my actions are never with ill intent.

Somehow, I manage to be both misanthropic yet sociable in the right circles; humanity as a whole is a disgusting species doomed to perish in its own arrogance, nose in an Iphone, but individuals can be inspiring and enjoyable, even life changing.

I am anti-culture, driven, I'm sure at least in part, due to being rejected by it. But I have made my peace with that. This is not a culture that we should be pleased to be accepted by, though, sadly, those that speak out against it are lost in a sea of ignorance, mindlessly shuffling about their daily routines.

Though I try to be at least moderately pleasant to interact with in the case of dealing with individuals I don't know, since I understand the societal value in doing so and I am not at all opposed to the idea of finding more like-minded people, I feel nothing for them. In general, I have low empathy and a fairly morbid sentiment. It takes a lot for me to feel really anything strongly one way or another, and as such I greatly respect the things that do. My standoffishness could be attributed to many things, but I view it as a defense mechanism - it means you no harm, and it may be outdated, but it has protected me from liars, pain, and general phoniness. I feel that the latter is utterly rampant these days, and I cannot for the life of me understand why.

I consider myself an intellectual, since I seek knowledge continuously. I am outspoken about my strong opinions, and an elitist through and through. Elitism is painted in such a poor light, yet people don't stop to use their fucking brains and think about what it actually means. We are given such a short amount of time on this hunk of dying fucking rock that why would we fill that time with anything other than the absolute best? I am not the elitist that scorns and rejects those who are not, instead I try to educate them of the benefits of only enjoying and seeking the best experiences possible.

So, all of this being said, why would anyone that isn't mentally deranged have any interest? That is a legitimate and excellent question.

Because despite of all of that, I seek the same thing that everyone else does - happiness.

What I never felt in my life is the feeling of being truly cared for; to have someone look at you with brilliant sparks in their eyes and a genuine smile that tells you all you need to know. Eyes that only see you. I have never known true, unquestioning love and compassion, and as such did not learn it myself. I see it in others, and I truly envy it, yet, so far, none have been able to bring it out in me. I do not feel that anyone owes me these things, far from it. I eagerly await the day that I meet the fateful individual that can bring these traits out of me. I know I have them, buried inside, but they remain dormant until I find a connection that truly makes me shout "fuck yes."

I know what I'm capable of. I learn through observation, and I take in far more than the average person subconsciously. My mind processes all of these emotional states that I have yet to understand. However, I know that, given the right person, the right circumstances, and the right amount of patience, I can and will be someone that can truly rise above all the blocks that my psyche has set and, just maybe, be able to both be genuinely, truly happy and enamored and in turn make someone else feel the same. At the present moment and due to everything that I've gone through it seems a tall order, but the stupid relentless optimist that refuses to stop whispering in my ear tells me to continue to plow on; that the holy grail I seek exists, but I must endure trials to find it.

And what is life if not a series of trials?

I put everything into what I am passionate about, to the point of sometimes draining myself physically and mentally afterward. (For example, I wrote the entirety of this 1,200 word section in one 40 minute sitting) Although it may take me a long time to learn some things, I never half-ass anything that matters to me. It's there. I'm there. I just don't possess the same skillsets that most of you do, which is, again, difficult to understand. I use that to my best advantage, however, and I've found definite benefits that I have been able to work to my advantage in furthering what I wish to accomplish. On top of that, I generally have a fairly positive outlook about the things that truly matter. I do truly believe that the best can come.

People make far too big of a deal out of most things. A good amount of minor inconveniences or small annoyances are out of our control and to be expected in life, and allowing these things to affect you is ridiculous. I believe in being laid back and going with the flow, and finding humor in generally annoying situations. The guy who freaks out because someone is ten minutes late or his internet dies for fifteen minutes is going to die of an aneurysm.

I'm not the kind of person that you will click with instantly, unless you have a very similar mess of a brain. Instead, I require patience, understanding, and communication. As such, I have had many a failed relationship and many, many more that never even got that far. I know that these women exist, though they are precious few and invaluable. I don't just seek the diamond among the coal, I require it, for none else will be able to fulfil what is required to bring out the best in me. I require someone willing to take a chance, to put everything on the line for a chance at a lifetime of true happiness.

I give only my best intentions. And my best intentions are the purest, most genuine form of human kindness that I have been able to understand thus far. I'm bullshit free. I don't play games. And I expect the same of others.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I wrote a 14-page short film, and filmed it in mid-July of 2013. It is a psychological look at childhood trauma breeding criminals, and the effectiveness of therapy. It was finished in September, and will be submitted to Sundance and other film festivals. It was at my friend's student film festival in April, and then that festival got canceled, grumble grumble...

The novel I'm currently working on is a political drama/social commentary/psychological study told in first person narrative. I finished the first draft very recently and have tons of ideas for how I'm going to polish it going forward. My main issue is one of focus so if I can figure out how to fix it, I can get this finished in a few months.

I'm doing independent English tutoring through Craigslist, and when school is back in session, I figure it's a reasonable idea to drop my name and phone number off at high schools and colleges if anyone comes asking for a tutor.

Most importantly, I just want to have a career that I will enjoy. So many people slave away at jobs they hate, when everyone has the capability to have a career doing something they enjoy, especially in this age of the internet and so much interactive media. I want a woman who shares my view of loving your career.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Jack of all trades, master of none; often quite better than master of one.

I'm quite versatile. I grew up playing sports, music, gaming, and doing well intellectually. I understand the basic premise of almost anything.

Nothing in my life ever came naturally to me, except the various facets of English (grammar, spelling, etc), and skiiing, strangely. I was off the bunny hill in twenty minutes when I was 10 years old, and going for all the intermediate tracks. I haven't gone in years, but it would be really cool to do it again. It's a lot of fun.

I guess in terms of what I'm REALLY good at, it would be understanding people. I seem to just be able to read them incredibly easily and I can figure out almost anybody pretty quickly. It's helped a lot in gaming. I've started to pick up poker casually, and I think I'm okay at it for not having played for very long.

I'm also quite good at educating myself, being helpful to the people that matter to me, and just enjoying my life. It's so important to be happy in the incredibly short time you have.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I honestly have no idea. This question seems to come up on dating sites and lot and quite frankly I find it to be a waste of a question. How am I supposed to know what people notice about me right away? Everyone is different, and the things that they take in and observe about someone is different. Seriously, remove questions like this; they are subjective and not really of any help.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Well, this is going to be a long section. I am very passionate about my favorite books, movies, shows, and music. I will explain why I love them.

For a long time, my all-time favorite series was Sword of Truth, but as I've delved more into the realms of George RR Martin, I've realized that Sword of Truth, while still good, is, unfortunately, plagued by being just a standard "Good Vs Evil" story. It's a damn good one, but it really is that at heart, which takes away from almost all of the suspense. You know that good is going to triumph, blah blah. However, I have never had an experience in my life like reading Wizard's First Rule, the first book in the series, and honestly other works of fiction that I really enjoyed before seemed a bit amateurish afterward. I also appreciate that the series has a message of free thinking, anti-religion and anti-superstition, and most importantly one of making your own life exactly what you want it to be. Those values hit home so much for me. People seem to dislike the series for those very reasons, and I can sort of see the viewpoint of not wanting preachiness in your fiction, but when the values expressed therein are ones that society desperately needs to understand, I don't have a problem with it.

All that being said, Song of Ice and Fire is the best series ever. It is crafted by a master storyteller the likes of which truly has never lived before. This is a man that can hold so much information in his head that it's a bit stunning, in addition to just being able to create it all in the first place.

Other books I like are Harry Potter, the Dresden Files, Lord of the Rings, and anything written by George Carlin.

My favorite movies are mostly psychological thrillers. It's not exclusively those, and anything that is well written, directed, and acted I will most likely enjoy unless I disagree strongly with the premise or the message it is trying to get across.

Welp, here's a list of my favorites, just so you can get some idea: Donnie Darko, Cabin in the Woods, Memento, The Prestige, Kick-Ass, Scarface, In Bruges, God Bless America, and Let the Right One In.

If you haven't heard of/seen any of these, IMDB or Netflix them. They are amazing. Movies like Donnie Darko are not for the people that don't like to think during a movie, but for those of us that do they (and almost all well done psych thrillers) are lasting experiences.

I really like dark, dramatic TV shows that follow a very interesting story and have a lot of character development. Shows that make you think. Again, not universally true as I do like some comedic shows.

Again, a list for your perusal: True Detective, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Dexter, Community, and Arrested Development. Walking Dead is a highly overrated pseudo-intellectual piece of mediocre television, and it baffles me how it fools so many people. I guess, to be fair, it did fool me for awhile. Thank you YourMovieSucks for opening my eyes .

Musically, which is something very important to me, I enjoy anything that shows obvious musical talent. As such, I don't like almost any modern mainstream artists and find most of them to be abhorrent and completely incompetent at what they do. Wub wub wub wub isn't music, Skrillex. I'm highly selective about what I listen to, and I really only listen to about five bands. I'm a diehard metalhead, and not for a lot of the stupid, pseudo-talented metal bands that are out there. The really talented artists are the classical music of this time period, and if you study music a lot you will see some similarities. A lot of them are influenced by Beethoven and the like as well.

Since we are following the pattern of listing things, I might as well do that here too. These are basically all the bands that I really, really enjoy and that I think are brilliant musicians: The Black Dahlia Murder, In Flames, At the Gates, Arsis, Kittie, Metallica, Rise Against, and old Green Day. I know that last one may come as a shock, but Green Day before American Idiot were highly competent and talented musicians of their particular genre. Insomniac is still one of my favorite albums.

I like a lot of food. I eat a lot for someone that isn't fat :P. I eat pretty healthy, and I drink about a gallon of water a day. I eat a lot of apples, maybe 3 or 4 a day. Aside from that, I like spaghetti, hamburgers, burritos, yogurt, vegetables that aren't eggplant, onions, or mushrooms, and so many other things that it would be a waste of time to list them all. Basically, I'm not fond of very spicy food. Not my thing at all.

Games! I love gaming. My favorites are: Dark Souls, Legend of Zelda (Fuck Skyward Sword, though, for srsly), Ratchet and Clank, Pokemon, Bravely Default, FFX, Starcraft, Far Cry 3, Fallout 3 & New Vegas, Dragon Age, (Yes, I loved the second one. Get over yourselves.), Smash Melee, The Last of Us, and Magic: The Gathering. Many more exist, but it would take far too long to list them all.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The internet



The ability to rationally view the world and educate myself

Games of all varieties

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Recently, a decent amount of my brain capacity has been taken up with wondering about why my rate of being messaged back is frustratingly low. I think I do a reasonable job trying to be witty, personable, and discuss our common interests, and yet I rarely receive messages back. When I do, talk usually fades quickly. It's very annoying. If anyone has any insight into this, it would be much appreciated. I feel like I'm missing a lot of great opportunities because of it.

As far as non-OKC related things;

Everything. I think a LOT. I think about things from such a wide variety of topics that I couldn't even begin to list them all. Really, I think about whatever is on my mind at the time. I think about things that don't make sense, but should. I think about things that make sense when they shouldn't.

My head is an interesting place.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Playing Magic: The Gathering at my local store. Another amazing game that has taught me so much about understanding people and problem solving. I honestly have no idea what I would be like had I not discovered it.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have some lingering emotional issues from a 2 year emotionally abusive relationship when I was 15. It mostly involves needless worrying about someone I am attracted to or interested in, or in a relationship with, not talking to me anymore, or having abandoned me...things of that nature. I'm haunted by doubt, but I'm receptive to honesty. This is part of why I stress honesty in a relationship so much. I'm not here to read signals. I'm getting better, but this is all still there and I just want to put it all out in the open so there's no surprises. Being understanding of this takes basically all the pressure off and I can just be myself.

So, if I act like this, it's not because I'm being overly clingy, needy, or whatever, it's because I've been through a ton of emotionally scarring things both in and out of relationships and it helps a lot to just be reassured every once in awhile.

I make it out to be a lot worse than it actually is, but I just want to make sure that all of this is out in the open.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You should message me if all of my strangeness is appealing, or you have any questions at all about anything you read.

What's most important to understand that is that I am, at my core, someone that is really difficult to understand. If you're willing to take the time to do so, I would love to hear from you. If you're even vaguely curious, I would love a message. I'm not unfriendly, despite what this profile may lead you to believe, and I feel the best way to get to know me is just to talk to me.