*UPDATE* I don't like marmalade. **

I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma... wrapped in bacon.

Shum peeper shink I'm raciarry inshenshitive. Dat so sheery.

I believe being nervous or scared is a horrible reason to NOT do something. Similarly, I believe "It's just not ME" is a ridiculous excuse for not trying something new...

I don't get along with close minded, egotistical or materialistic people.

The other night I ordered sushi delivery. I opened my chopsticks to find not two but THREE, count them, one, two, THREE chopsticks! Best night of my life!

I pray to the GAUSOK. A.K.A. the Google Almighty Universal Source Of Knowledge. Whenever I have questions about life... or... how to make a crepe and stuff I just pray to the GAUSOK and he answers all my prayers. All hail GAUSOK.

I have a 2 legged dog named Henry who enthusiastically hops by my side as I walk. Sometimes I "unintentionally" bump him with my leg so he tips over. Then I feel bad and I say "good puppy". He licks my toe cause he can't reach my hand cause I knocked him over earlier in the story. THE END.

I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.

Taking the awkwardness out of situations, making people feel comfortable, anything computer related, making people laugh, making decisions and reading people.

And cooking.

My great rack...

No, but seriously... Probably my hot ass...
Wait, that sounds kind of sweaty...

Right, moving along...

Music:

Dubstep, Drum & Bass, Bass Nectar, Muse, William Fitzsimmons, Empire of the Sun, Iron & Wine, Radical Face, Emiliana Torrini, Band of Skulls, underground hip hop, Electro house, The Gipsy Kings, A Perfect Circle, Sia, Susie Sue, Tchaikovsky, Spanish Guitar, Hieroglyphics, Eminem, Sublime, Al Green, Barry White, NIN, Bat for Lashes, Beck, Bjork, Ol Dirty Bastard, Wu Tang, Damien Rice, Easy E, Fiona Apple, Fever Ray, The Grouch, The GZA, Del the Funky Homosapien, Peaches, Pink Floyd, Janes Addiction, NAS, Outcast, The Postal Service, Radiohead, Speed Garage, Zero 7, Tool, Aesop Rock, Crystal Castles, disco, The Black Ghosts, binaural beats, Blackalicious, Bob Marley, Kings of Leon, Janes Addiction, Busta Rhymes, Daft Punk, Frank Sinatra, Guru, Johnny Cash, Massive Attack, MC Paul Barman, Method Man, Primus, Rage Against the Machine, Slow Dive, The Smiths, System of a Down, Uffiie, etc.

Movies:

drama, sci-fi, foreign films, indie films, comedy, strange romance, documentaries

TV:

Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Homeland, South Park, Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Office, Dexter, Arrested Development, Californication, Star Trek TNG, Planet Earth, Battlestar Galactica, Family Guy, House, Reno 911, Doctor Who

Books:

Definitely read more non-fiction than fiction but like them both.. Theoretical physics, philosophy and psychology (especially evolutionary psychology) are my favorite... Most recent books read: The Enlightenment Trilogy by Jed McKenna.

Food:

I'll eat just about anything (and everything) but I try to keep it healthy. 3 Favorites are Vietnamese, Korean and Sushi

Fishing line, electric tape, a paper clip, a pack of matches, an electric watch and a pen spring.

The nature of reality

Making your boyfriend jealous.

I sometimes whip out my D at inappropriate times...

And by "D" I'm of course referring to my Dance moves

You are intelligent, emotionally mature, honest, fun, don't take yourself too seriously, have impeccable personal hygiene (apparently that's not a give-in...), have curves (if your butt is smaller/skinnier/flatter than mine it's just not going to work for me) and have a great sense of humor.

Don't message me if: You are emotionally unstable, religious, materialistic, easily offended, an alcoholic, you're constantly complaining, all your pictures are in dark lighting/from weird angles/have crazy filters (you're not fooling anyone), can't hold a conversation and/or you consider "celebrity gossip" one of your hobbies...