36 Portland, OR
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Hmm... well I've been on OkCupid for a couple of years now and I've gravitated away from digital dating for the below reasons. Please read through the whole thing. It starts cynical but that doesn't mean that I am or that the central message of this posting necessarily is.. I've just come to prefer real interactions first. After a few dates from here, I've come to realize that what we write about ourselves is usually a projection of our idealized self-identity (my old profile is included in this statement so it's not a judgement). Right now, I prefer messy, imperfect, real. i.e. what will we hate about each other and are we willing to wade through the grey long enough to accept it? Or, are we brave enough to honestly communicate?

These sites are interesting in a way. At times, when I read a self summary, it reminds me of an Ad on Craig's List, an old couch up for sale desperately in need of a home before going in the trash.

Other times, it feels like a grocery list for identity shoppers. I am _____, _____, and _____ and I am looking for ______, ______, and _______.

Then there's the:

Message me if you want to crowd which thoroughly intrigues me. The ONLY way to get a serious message from someone on this site is if they really want to. The obvious is obviously obvious.

However, it makes sense. In the end, these are quick, summarized shards of who we are because who is really serious about digital dating? What really makes our blood boil isn't how closely our percentages match but the answer to this question....

When I am in proximity to this person, look into their eyes, and get to know their darkest self, do I still feel their gravitational pull?

THAT'S the real answer we all want here. Unfortunately, it will never be if we go at it with a shopping list mentality.

It is far too easy to check one profile after another, hoping against hope that the next one will be a winner (fulfilling every qualification on our list); like buying a 5 dollar lottery ticket and really believing that behind the next scratch, we'll finally find that $1000 a week for life symbol.

Think about it. Due to the utter lack of agreed upon social flirting cues defined for outer space, we're stuck... hoping that one day that amazing 5-Star profile will actually find us in real life.

Let's not create excuses, excuses, and more excuses to not contact each other.

I understand, like you, that NONE of us really wants to find a connection on a dating site. NONE. Thus, it's easy to look at these profiles like we're reading a newspaper.... it's full of horrors that can be funny sometimes but way too serious at other times.... either way, it focuses too much on the sensational.

This is what I propose:
1.) Read this whole short story I've replaced my self-summary with.
2.) Look at my pictures.


If you'd like to find out if I'm 5 stars in real life, just message me.

Quite frankly, this digital realm does nothing but add another element of separation in a world already abundantly consumed by separation.
You should message me if
if you like someone who strives to be present, aware, spiritual, an explorer of ideas and experiences, who likes electronic & ambient music, who can have fun sitting in the grass staring at the clouds all day, who realizes his own hypocrisies but accepts them, and whom is ultimately searching for grace.