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33 Gainesville, FL Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Here is some frivolous nonsense which may or may not be amusing:

The Guy's Translation Guide to Dating Sites»

thin - anorexic

thick - fat

average - fat like everyone else

a few extra pounds - fat and delusional

more to love - fat and needy

more cushion for the pushin'! - fat and slutty

BBW - fat and doesn't plan to diet

curves in all the right places - and in all the wrong ones

junk in the trunk - of a station wagon

junk in the trunk and attic - fat and can't flesh out a metaphor correctly

not too fat and not too thin - too fat

not concerned about looks - fat and fugly

take care of myself - fat and vain

beauty is in the eye of the beholder - will make you go blind

athletic - I am or was at one time a man.

"I'm tired of the bar scene" – somehow being drunk and easy is not panning out

"I love sports" - I will suffer whatever you want to do on Saturdays so you'll think I'm cool and don't worry , I'll bring this up when I wanna go see "Valentines Day" or "New Moon"

"Go (some team)!" - my ex-boyfriend or ex-husband liked (some team) so I have a sweater with their
name on it

"I can go out on the town, or a quiet evening at home" - I stay at home until someone pays to take me out

"I like a man in uniform (military)"- $400,000+ would be awesome if you died!

"I love Marines" - I love a strong back and weak mind!

"I love Coasties" - I love foreign STDs and international baby-mama drama OR I'm from Japan or the PI

"I love Sailors" - See Above

"I love Soldiers"- I love your SGLI and bah

"I love Air force"- see above

"dinner and dancing" - you'd better have money

"looking for someone secure" - you'd better have money

"I like to travel" - on your dime, you'd better have money

"I like road trips to no place in particular" - I want to waste your gas.

"looking for someone stable" - you'd better have money and a house

"looking for someone who has goals" - you'd better be planning to get more money

"not looking for a momma's boy" - because I don't want competition for controlling you

"family is very important to me" - be prepared to spend every weekend and holiday at my parents'

"single mom" - looking for money and a new daddy

"not looking for a daddy, my kids know who their dad is" - just looking for money because the dad is poor

"my kids are my life" - I don't want to sound like a selfish because I'm looking for a date

"my kids are my life" - be prepared to take a back seat to my overindulgence

"I don't have kids, but I want them someday" - I don't plan on ever having a job

"I can cook" - I can operate a microwave

"I'm very domestic" - I'm a houseplant that doesn't understand fun

"I'm intelligent" - I can spell most words and believe that equals smart

"I'm articulate" - I never shut up

"I enjoy a good debate" - I never, ever shut up, and I yell

"I read a lot" - of fast-food menus and magazines

"I write poetry" - and I'm going to make you sit through every excruciating word of it

"I love to sing" - and I'm going to make you sit through every excruciating word of it

"I'm not into playing games" - I'm stupid and have been easily manipulated

"tired of the games" - I'm stupid and have been easily manipulated

"NO HEAD GAMES" - I'm stupid and have been easily manipulated

"I hate liars" - because I can't tell when they're lying

"If you're just looking for sex, keep looking" - I gave it up on the first date before and it ended badly

"If you're just looking for sex, keep looking" - I hate men, and therefore sex, but need someone to bring home a paycheck

"If you're just looking for sex, keep looking" - I'm stupid and have been easily manipulated

"looking for a man who knows how to treat a lady" - be prepared to do everything for me

"handyman a plus" – I break shit, have a shitty car.

"concentrating on making myself a better person" - I'm a self-absorbed hippie

"I'm into yoga" - I'm a self-absorbed hippie

"I'm a vegetarian" - I'm a self-absorbed hippie and logic eludes me and I will save the cat before telling you the house is on fire.

"I'm a veagan" - see above,

"I'm a country girl looking for a country boy" – I adhere to very sharply defined out-of-date gender roles

"I like all kinds of music" – I don't really pay attention to any type of music, so I don't care what's on

"I like to spend time outdoors" – sometimes I open a window

"I like to hang out with friends" – I am a drunk

"I like to have fun" – I am an idiot [Who doesn't like fun? It's fun. Why would you write that? Jesus.]

"I'm up for anything" – I expect you to come up with ideas

"I'm very spontaneous" – I'm a flakier than a bowl of Wheaties

"I like long walks on the beach" – it looked romantic in that one movie I saw

"I like to take long walks" – I don't own a car, hope you do
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Checking my several dozen dating site profiles over and over again. Christian Mingle used to be good, but I'm finding better success with Muslim Mates and Hindu Hookups.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
petting kittens.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books that make me feel dumb. Music that makes me want to move my body in a seductive manner.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My five wives.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
random philosophical stuff, especially when I'm in the shower.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Foxy Boxing.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you're adorable.

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