John-the-Aptest
23 Chicago, IL
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John-the-Aptest
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My self-summary
Culinaire, Debonair, Extraordinaire
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to write an OKCupid profile without making myself sound like an ass. I also happen to cook expensive food for old rich people in one of the best restaurants in the city. Sometimes I even do fun stuff... sometimes.
I’m really good at
Convincing myself that I can dance after a couple drinks. And making dumb jokes that I find funnier than anyone else, hence the name.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm amazed every time I read The Picture of Dorian Gray, Lolita, or anything from Chuck Palahniuk. I fall in love with everything hilariously dark.

I watch too many movies. Whiplash is my latest love affair but if you secretly yearn to reenact any scenes from Lost in Translation, I am your man. We can take turns being Bill Murray, if that's what you're in to.

Archer, Mad Men, True Detective, and Game of Thrones top the list. I want so badly to put Dexter on here but not if it means supporting the last few seasons.

Music is impossible to choose. I spend the most time listening to either trip-hop (like Massive Attack and UNKLE) or alternative rock (The Strokes, Radiohead) but I couldn't live without Ludivico Einaudi and a million other artists. Like almost everyone seems to say, I really do listen to pretty much everything except country.
My last.fm profile is right here if you want to check it out.

I love food that people call "avant-garde". The ridiculously expensive stuff that most people think is absurd. The things that only a world class artist could think of. No one else could even imagine doing what someone like Ferran Adria does, and I think that's absolutely incredible.
The six things I could never do without
Interesting Food
Amazing Films
Spotify
Trivial Lists
Kevin Spacey
Sarcasm
I spend a lot of time thinking about
When did Netflix and chill suddenly become casual sex? I just really like to watch Netflix and chill, okay?
On a typical Friday night I am
What the hell is a typical Friday night?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm one of those horrible people that actually mean it when they say they're looking for friends. I know like five people in the city outside of work and it's a problem.
You should message me if
You're willing to say more than "Hey". It's not that I don't appreciate you going out on a limb to kick things off, I just want a little personality.
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