Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

John-the-Aptest

22 Chicago, IL Man

Man

Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 19–28
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 8:58pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of space camp
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Status
Single
Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), German (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Aspiring chef who loves cuddling to Netflix way more than you do. I procrastinate too much, watch too many movies, waste too much time in art galleries, and will pay way too much attention to your cat.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to write an OKCupid profile without making myself sound like an ass. I also happen to cook expensive food for old rich people in one of the best restaurants in the city.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Convincing myself that I can dance after a couple drinks. And making dumb jokes that I find funnier than anyone else, hence the name.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'm amazed every time I read The Picture of Dorian Gray, Lolita, or anything from Chuck Palahniuk. I fall in love with everything hilariously dark.

Whiplash is my latest love affair but if you secretly yearn to reenact any scenes from Lost in Translation, I am your man. We can take turns being Bill Murray, if that's what you're in to.

Archer, Mad Men, True Detective, and Game of Thrones top the list. I want so badly to put Dexter on here but not if it means supporting the last few seasons.

Music is impossible to choose. I spend the most time listening to either trip-hop (like Massive Attack and UNKLE) or alternative rock (The Strokes, Radiohead) but I couldn't live without Ludivico Einaudi and a million other artists. Like almost everyone seems to say, I really do listen to pretty much everything except country.
My last.fm profile is right here if you want to check it out.

I love food that people call "avant-garde". The ridiculously expensive stuff that most people think is absurd. The things that only a world class artist could think of. No one else could even imagine doing what someone like Ferran Adria does, and I think that's absolutely incredible.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Interesting Food
Amazing Films
Spotify
Trivial Lists
Kevin Spacey
Sarcasm
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
When did Netflix and chill suddenly become casual sex? I just really like to watch Netflix and chill, okay?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
What the hell is a typical Friday night?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm one of those horrible people that actually mean it when they say they're looking for friends. I know like five people in the entire city and it's a problem.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're willing to say more than "Hey". It's not that I don't appreciate you going out on a limb to kick things off, I just want a little personality.