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25 M New York, NY

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
The username's a lie, I had that Sade song stuck in my head. This is a rare case of me not being blunt but also a common occurrence of me being a goof.

I'll sweep you off your feet, but that's mostly because I'm that clumsy and didn't see you standing there. I'll catch you when you fall, but then that's mostly because I'm sure you'll want some obnoxiously cute story to tell your friend(s)/cat(s)/therapists. People falling is one of my favorite things to watch, so appreciate the sacrifice being made, please. The above justifications may also be lies and I may actually have a romantic bone in my body. Maybe.

NYC native; Magellan of the MTA, impossibly high standards for weird (try me), and expertly parallel-parking my way into the smallest of spots in people's hearts. Your move, malevolent misanthropes.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to find a lip balm that doesn't gloss me up like a budding Zoolander.

Left corporate America to try to run off with the military to do linguist/intelligence work, but nana kept clutching both her chest and the nearest stable surface every time I brought it up. Instead, I'm now taking a law enforcement and grad school route (got my eye on a couple of programs) to follow the same stubbornly and hopelessly idealistic dream of saving the world from all of the bad guys.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Compulsively fixing things, building computers, doing my own work on my bike and car. Because of these, I used to call myself a tweaker. Finally, someone told me I should look that word up. Now, there's more than a handful of people out there that think I'm a high-functioning drug addict. Fantastic.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Scowling skyscraper.

"How do your eyebrows move like that?" I have a terrible poker face because my 'brows are notorious gossips.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I left out books and music because that can be like talking religion and politics these days. We'll get there.

TV: Futurama, Homeland, Game of Thrones, Orange Is The New Black, Arrested Development, Seinfeld, Mad Men, Sherlock, New Girl, Always Sunny, The Big Bang Theory, 30 Rock, How I Met Your Mother, Girls (Like a man), Breaking Bad, Millionaire Matchmaker, The Walking Dead, Boardwalk Empire, The Office, South Park

Movies: Cinema Paradiso is up there with Inglorious Basterds, Mean Girls (Stop trying to make judgement happen, it's not gonna happen), The Dark Knight Rises, My Cousin Vinny, Big Fish, and probably some mob movie. Also, anything with Liam Neeson. That man's voice is like butter dipped in whiskey.

Food: Molasses are surprisingly tasty. I've yet to try any other parts of the mole, though.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
- Coffee/Tea -- Before my morning cuppa, I'm a firetruck: "KEEP BACK 200 FT"
- Food for thoughts, thoughts for food -- TED talks, podcasts, NPR, microwave instructions on freezer pizzas, etc.
- The internet in my hand -- Blah blah, this is 2014, just hush.
- Means of transport -- Yea, whatever, I like to travel just like the rest of you.
- Ben
- & Jerry's
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Pondering what makes people and the universe tick. Upside: I'll show up with the guilty pleasures and a comfy shoulder at the right time. Downside: I may wander off and get lost at the park. Kinda like a dog, minus the inopportune leg-humping. We just talked about my perfect timing, hello.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Passing out after my run. Then, reluctantly peeling myself off of my memory foam mattress (seriously, worst-best things ever) to get ready to meet a friend or few at some silly place one of us heard about on the internet that has that one special thing ya gotta try, but turns out to be mediocre because they probably bribed friends and family to write those Yelp reviews. Is nothing sacred?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
There are top-secret pictures of me as a dorky, chubby teen with glasses. Lost the chub and glasses, but not the dork. At all.

I think that Beyonce's a fantastic performer and strong role model, but I just can't sit through a song of hers. Except for Single Ladies. You bet your ass my hands are up.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're nice, honest, smart, bit of an oddball, don't give a shit about fitting in but not a dick about it. I like people that can be kind of an ass, but not an asshole, because life's a balance. Most importantly, only if you've already found yourself laughing with or at me. Otherwise, you're dead inside and should go away, zombie woman.

You might say it's an impossible combination, but here I am.