Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


25 M New York, NY

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Hispanic / Latin, White
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
The username's a lie, I had that Sade song stuck in my head. I was going to use that old porn name generator, [First pet] + [Street you grew up on], until I felt that Dizzy69 would just send mixed messages.

I'll sweep you off your feet, but that's mostly because I'm that clumsy and didn't see you standing there. Semantics. I'll make an earnest attempt to catch you while you fall, but then that's mostly because I'm sure you'll want some obnoxiously cute story to tell your friends/parents/cat(s). Otherwise, people falling is my favorite thing to watch, as well as an activity I personally partake in quite often. The things I do for you...

NYC Native; Magellan of the MTA, impossibly high standards for weird (really, try me), and expertly parallel-parking my way into the smallest of spots in people's hearts. Your move, misanthropes.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Did the corporate America thing for years, but I'd rather the fruits of my labor to go to a cause higher than a bottom line. Currently involved in something more fulfilling, interesting, and servicey. This is deliberately vague because my life is an accumulation of, "Well, it's a long story..." situations and this is no exception. We'll talk.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Compulsively fixing things, building computers, doing my own work on my motorcycle and car. Because of these, I used to call myself a tweaker. Then, someone told me to look that word up. Now, there's more than a handful of people out there that think I'm a high-functioning drug addict. Fantastic.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!

"How do your eyebrows move like that?" I have a terrible poker face because my eyebrows are notorious gossips.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I left out books and music because that can be like talking religion and politics these days. We'll get there.

TV: Homeland, Game of Thrones, Orange Is The New Black, Arrested Development, Seinfeld, Mad Men, Sherlock, New Girl, Always Sunny, The Big Bang Theory, 30 Rock, How I Met Your Mother, Girls (Like a man), Breaking Bad, Millionaire Matchmaker, The Walking Dead, Boardwalk Empire, The Office, South Park

Movies: Cinema Paradiso is up there with Inglorious Basterds, Mean Girls (Stop making judgement happen. It's not gonna happen.), The Dark Knight Rises, My Cousin Vinny, Big Fish, and probably some mob movie. Also, anything with Liam Neeson.

Food: Molasses are surprisingly tasty. I've yet to try any other parts of the mole, though.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
- Coffee/Tea -- Before my morning cuppa, I'm a firetruck: "KEEP BACK 200 FT"
- Food for thoughts, thoughts for food -- TED talks, podcasts, NPR, microwave instructions on freezer pizzas, etc.
- The internet in my hand -- Blah blah, just hush.
- Accruing traffic tickets -- Manual car and motorcycle.
- Ben
- & Jerry
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
If a gluten-free vegan does crossfit, which one do they tell people about first?

Pondering what makes people and the universe tick. Upside: I'll show up with the guilty pleasures and a comfy shoulder at the right time. Downside: I may wander off and get lost at the park. Kinda like a dog, minus the inopportune leg-humping. We just talked about my perfect timing, hello.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have top-secret pictures of me as a dorky, chubby teen with glasses. Lost the chub and glasses, but not the dork. At all.

I'm not a morning person. One morning, I woke up to my iPhone alarm in a particularly bad bleary-eyed stupor. Desperate, I fruitlessly clawed the area around me until I found purchase. Phone in hand, I looked at the screen and saw the word, "Snooze". Exasperated and bewildered, I complained, "What the HELL is a SNOOZE?!" (I pronounced it 'snooh-tseh' -- like an Italian word) And was convinced that, somehow, the language on my iPhone must have changed to Italian and concluded that a 'snooze' was an Italian pastry of some sort. After staring at it for at least 7.42 seconds, my mind was able to realize that, "Snooze," was, in fact, English and was, in fact, exactly the option I was looking for. I quietly promised myself that I would never tell this tale. I lied.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you've already found yourself laughing with or at me. Otherwise, you're dead inside and should go away, zombie woman.

Or, if you want to share a corny pick-up line or joke that I can say out loud when we first meet so that the passing stranger does a triple-take when I follow it up with the whole sweeping-off-the-feet thing mentioned above and they wonder, "That fucking worked?!" Think of the future awkward situations we'd create for them when they try it. Ability to cackle preferred.