Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


51 Santa Clara, CA Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 28-52
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Nov 21
5' 11" (1.80m)
Body Type
Buddhism but it’s not important
Two-year college
Doesn’t have kids but might want them
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.

I'm John.

I'm a native of Sonoma County, born in Santa Rosa, and I've lived much of my life in Santa Rosa and Healdsburg, with a brief detour to San Jose. I've recently moved back to Silicon Valley for work.

I eschew stereotypes and gossip, am proudly liberal, am working on my spiritual life (Buddhism), being more community-involved, and am not looking for someone to fill all my needs or complete me.

I'm sensitive, compassionate, funny, smart, open-minded, and emotionally available. I listen and can hold up my end of a conversation. I will never tell you that your feelings are wrong or how to feel. I've been on the receiving end. I will hug and kiss you every day, and share other forms of affection as mutually desired.

I've been told I'm attractive and sometimes I believe it. One of my friends actually said I was "charming". My jaw hit the floor.

I'm imperfect, but am working on improving myself physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and financially. I'm heavier than I was 20 years ago, the hair on my head is thinner than it was, and the hair on my body is thicker, but I wouldn't want to be 20 years younger.

I don't smoke or do drugs, but do have a drink occasionally. I am getting healthier with food, while enjoying what I am eating. I'm exercising more (walking, hiking, and cycling) and losing weight. As of today, 6/7/2014, I've lost about 123.2 pounds since 5/31/2013. This has been through counting calories and cycling my butt off. I also enjoy conversations, book stores, people-watching, animals, and children.

I went to Yosemite with a friend of mine (8/2009) and, among other things, hiked all the way to the top of Mt Dana, which is just over 13,000 feet. It was a first for me and a thrill. I met many people coming down the mountain who had not reached the summit. It was a life-changing experience. I showed myself that, despite my weight, I can accomplish what others will or can not. That being said, I do consider myself athletic, though I do have a ways to go and I know I do not appear athletic. I recently completed my first 100 km bike ride.

I enjoy women with their own interests, opinions, and smarts, and who are not afraid to express themselves. Please don't let lines on your face or being overweight deter you. The lines might convey that you've smiled and laughed a lot during your life, ALWAYS a good thing. As long as, like me, you're working on getting healthier, it's not an issue. Still working through your stuff? Me too. I'd rather be with someone who knows they're imperfect--as are all us humans--and strives to improve themselves and make the world a better place, even if it is on the smallest of scales. I'll happily join you and cheer you all the way.

I like walking, hiking, Yosemite, salsa dancing, friendship, photography, cycling, weight-lifting, tennis, reading, writing, self-improvement, children, dogs, cats, conversation, people-watching, laughing, martial arts, Scrabble, Yahtzee, crossword puzzles, sudoku, movies, volleyball, conversation, politics, singing, computers, sailing, playing pool, bowling, geocaching, GPS, cartography, maps, kissing, hugs, cuddling, affection, sounds of nature, good food, Annadel State Park, San Franciso, Bernini, mythology, puns, banter, helping others, walking barefoot through the grass, working with my hands, learning new things, sexuality, spirituality, psychology, serendipity, epiphanies...

I know a lot of guys are into football, baseball, golf, and NASCAR, but that's just not me, and I'm not looking to change that.

I am Silly, Sane, and Compassionate.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm cycling my butt off, inconsistently building my meditation practice, and learning how to be present, but always with humor. I joined a cycling club and participate in and lead group rides. I watch too much TV, but have a DVR, so I'm not chained to it or it's schedule and am happy to put it on the back burner. I enjoy my digital SLR and am happily exploring my photography bug, technically and artistically.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Listening, writing, problem solving, crosswords, sudoku, fixing computers.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My sense of humor: They may not get it, but they do notice it. Well... They'd notice I'm also a big fella.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Some authors I enjoy are Pema Chodron, Kathy Reichs, Michael Connolly, Lee Child, and F Paul Wilson.

Movies: I plead guilty to loving romantic comedies. Some titles I liked are "Something New", "About a Boy", "Wonder Boys", "The Game", "Schindler's List", "12 Angry Men", "Fight Club", and "Notting Hill". I also really enjoy action flicks. I don't really enjoy watching sports, but enjoy sports movies. I go to movies with the intention of enjoying them and not looking to find fault. I judge them on their own terms. Complaining that "The Hangover" is no "Schindler's List" is comparing apples and oranges. I love Netflix quite a bit.

TV Shows: I mainly enjoy crime dramas, good sci-fi (hard to find), dramas, hour-long comedies, select shows on politics (not Fox). Examples would be "Elementary", "Real Time", "Dexter", "Eureka", "The Daily Show", "House", "Dead Like Me", and others. I know, some of them aren't current. I'm not a fan of most "reality" shows because I don't enjoy watching people being humiliated.

Music: Musically, I enjoy rock, blues, R&B, some jazz, classical, world, and a smattering of country. Some artists/bands I like are Eric Clapton, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Gary Moore, Green Day, John Hiatt, Al Green, War, R.E.M., Melissa Etheridge, Linkin' Park, James Brown, and many more.

I like dancing to latin music, i.e., salsa, rumba, and cha cha.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
In no particular order; sunlight, books, good conversation, my camera, my bicycle, and a good pair of walking/hiking shoes/boots.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What I can do to become a better human being, cyclist, and photographer.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Riding my butt off.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have little experience dating, so I may not be good at reading your signals and responding as assertively as might be desired.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to talk.

You have nothing to lose in meeting and making a new friend at a minimum, or seeing where it might lead.

I'm not super-firm on the age thing, but you must be an adult.