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John_Krasch

30 M Carmel, IN

My Details

Last Online
Mar 26, 2011
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Christianity, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Pisces, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from two-year college
Job
Banking / Finance
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Latin (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Ok. I need to make this profile essay crazier than the last one. Lord knows I'm not on that often, so I've got to make it count...but how?

I've got it! 1...2...3...4...no...wait...seriously:

I was walking down the street and I realized, "Hey wait! I'm not an egg! I'm a duck-billed platypus!" A platypus, seriously. I've got four webbed feet, a duck bill, stingers on my...well, you know...and a flat little beaver tail!

Everyone wishes they were just like me, 'cause I'm cute and cuddly and furry...or scaly...or...wait...what's a platypus wear, anyway? I guess it doesn't really matter, because all the platypi are naked, anyway...freakish, right? Not that I'm a naked platypus...that would just be...rude. I wear clothes...I'm a clothes-wearing platypus!

Have you ever realized that there's no one on Earth quite like you? I mean, seriously, I've met ducks and beavers and ground squirrels and peacocks and pheasants and quite a few strange characters, but I've never met another platypus. It's frightening, actually.

And you know...you can go around pretending to be a duck or a beaver or a ground squirrel or a peacock or a pheasant or some other strange character, but when you get home at night and look in the mirror, what's staring back at you? A platypus!

Don't wanna run into one of those in the dark.

...mirrors, not platypi. Mirrors hurt. Platypi just go squish.

And speaking of squish, when was the last time you actually heard anything go "Squish"? I don't think anything really goes "Squish" at all, except for platypi. I know several things that go "Squash," and some that go "Squelch," but none that go "Squish."

Except for Platypi.

Isn't Platypus a funny word?

I could go on like this forever but I think you get the idea. If you've read to this point, chances are good that you know about as much about me as anyone else that I've randomly met. That's usually the point where they either hit me or start stalking me...and unfortunately, lately, it's more often been the latter. I think I'd rather be hit, sometimes, 'cause people can turn into super-glue at the drop of a hat...sigh.

Besides? Why do I need a self-summary? Okcupid has the best matching system on Earth! Anyone could know anything about me just by checking my test scores...or something like that.

Oh...fair warning, though: I lean Liberal more often than I lean Conservative (but I do have some Conservative views), and I can get rather uptight about Politics at times. I'm willing to listen, face-to-face, but I'm a bit zealous if you give me a loudspeaker.
What I’m doing with my life
Right now I'm working for a secret government agency, shrouded in mystery, of which few people speak. My work is so secret that even I don't know everything about it.

...I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you...seriously.
I’m really good at
Writing music - Have you ever had a moment where the music just flows? I've had several days where I didn't get to bed until well into the early hours of the morning because I couldn't stop writing.

Discovering new skills - Some days my job puts me into really hairy situations and I have to come up with a solution on the fly. I haven't died, yet...but who knows what tomorrow may bring?

Making new friends - Odd that I should say this, being an introvert by nature, but people seem to really enjoy my company.

Writing prose poetically?
The first things people usually notice about me
I have a unique sense of humor. Get to know me. Only then will you understand.

...and, if you're ever anywhere near the river Kali, beware the goonch.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
(A) The Idiot, Crime and Punishment, The Phantom of the Opera, The Da Vinci Code, Ender's Game, The Fabric of Reality, Don Quixote de la Mancha, and the Wheel of Time Series (RIP, Robert Jordan).

(B) The Princess Bride (only the most quotable movie of all time), V for Vendetta, Must Love Dogs, Rumor Has It, As Good as it Gets, The Phantom of the Opera (Andrew Lloyd Weber version), Being John Malkovich, Grosse Pointe Blank, Pretty Woman, Runaway Bride, and a whole host of others.

(C) Pretty much anything. Yes, I even listen to Country and Western music. And no, you'll never convince me to give up wearing my boots.

(D) Are you kidding me? I love to eat good food. I think hot wings are my big thing right now. It's totally cool that I live near a Buffalo Wild Wings.
The six things I could never do without
I've been informed that listing self-evident items is a cardinal sin. Therefore:

1. My fish (Akavir [not so much anymore...she was eaten by Sithis], Sithis, Ahmadinejad [also eaten by Sithis], and Olmert [murdered by one of my roommates])

2. My computer (Thanatos...I built him, I feel that gives me the right to name him). Perhaps I'm a bit too attached to the damn thing...but when it costs over $1,500 just for the tower and you've put it together from the mainboard on up, you get attached.

3. My Books (Including my college textbook: "50 works of philosophy")

4. Resourcefulness...it comes in handy in a pinch.

5. ESP (Yes, I totally go protected--if you get this joke, you're a hopeless geek)

6. My keyboard (notes, not letters)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
A number of sometimes complicated and always random subjects. Meaning-of-life-type stuff.

Stuff like: "What does the seventh dimension look like from a ten-dimensional perspective?"

"What does the color infrared really look like?"

"How can I keep that pesky gopher from digging holes in my fairway?"

"If God had a face, would I ever see it?"

"When's Lunch?"

"Why do you keep stalking me?"

...I think you get the picture.
On a typical Friday night I am
Asleep until Saturday at 5:00PM or out with my friend watching the latest movie.

Possibly using Everclear to blow fire...you can't drink the stuff, anyway.

Maybe shoving my buddy into a ditch in his shopping cart.

Perhaps riding an Emu...no...not really.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I actually have a libido...just don't tell anyone else, ok? I'm trying to keep it a secret.

Oh, yeah, and I'd really love to learn the tango but I'm afraid that if I ever got that close to anybody, they'd grab onto me like one of those weird sucker-fish and never let go. Maybe I should carry around a king-size spatula...
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–31
  • Near me
  • For new friends
You should message me if
You're a platypus, too.