I'm looking for the girl who took Van Gogh's missing ear ...

I have almost everything I could wish for: a beautiful house, passionate friends, a radical-community that is slowly growing over time, a great part-time job (bartender), a bookstore I help coordinate, the confidence to be who I am and speak my mind, and (Most Importantly) - the time and support to write continuously. My immediate goal, in short, is to produce a quality book (subject: creative-non fiction / philosophy / literary narrative / ecology / politics) ....

The one thing that is missing is a lover I can actually love. This is something so many of us seek, unconsciously or consciously. I'm no different.

For the longest time I denied this desire. I pretended I didn't need anyone. That was me being socialized into being 'a man.' I've come to find that the desire for an other is vitally important to living a worthwhile life. Why should we hide it any longer?

I'm in no big hurry though, and I'm not willing to totally settle for less than what I think I deserve: a sensitive, expansive, intelligent other. Boy or girl. I think there is something more fundamental than gender that I'm seeking.

I've seen glimpses of the person I'm seeking in various novels/works of art: Emma's spontaneity, Manet's lush pasty figures, Nina Simone's textured / weathered voice ....

Until I find that person I am totally "playing the field", seeing what is out there. I'm willing to try anything. I'm into experimentation. If your creative, then message me.

I have so many interests I almost find it impossible to place them here. I am primarily a philosopher, and secondly a political-activist (anarchist/marxist) and aesthetician (I love experiencing art, writing about it, making it). I am a writer, as well as doer (I help run a non-profit radical bookstore) and maker (I am becoming a large-scale gardener and am working towards building sustainable / lyrical living structures with the hopes of building a community of radical people in KC). I also make music, work out, cook, sleep and do all the things normal people do.

There are conceptual, aesthetic and political problems have become my primary commitment in this short life. Because of that, a lot of my days are spent reading, writing, thinking and preparing classes and video's. I work constantly, though it's not exactly a paid job.

My personality might be described as "attentive" and "polite," but underneath I am without a doubt very 'critical' and 'contrarian,' or normally described as 'political,' though I'm opposed to politics in favor of Direct Action. I am an unabashed anarchist ... but anarchism is probably not what you think. Anarchism means that I don't believe in coercion, domination, hierarchy, or domestication. It means I believe in human beings and their full capacity.

I work as a Bartender ... and sometimes as a bouncer, sometimes as a cook and sometimes as a barback.

I moved into a beautiful 3 story house about 4 months ago. It's been turned into a housing 'collective'. Not only is it the shit - a music studio, I have an office, we have a garden - but it has things like heat and running water, things that are new to me, things I've lived without for about 2 years (as I had been squatting) ...

I do drink (never to excess), and am an avid-coffee drinker. I do smoke weed, though not everyday (or even every week sometimes). If its possible to smoke to excess then, yes, I probably do that sometimes. I don't smoke cigarette's, though I don't mind people who do.

I make music (mostly electronic/Dj'ing). I have a love for long-boarding - which is like skateboarding and surfing combined.

I am not a 'bro,' which is an image I can't escape - no matter how many piercing I get or feminist I become. I do have feelings, thoughts, and unorthodox desires. I am seeking a female (or maybe male) partner who can share their intensity with me. My 'career goal' is to dismantle this entire system (civilization) because it is destroying our delicate ecosystem, the hearts and minds of people, and prevents anyone from living fully by reducing them to subjects / workers.

ALSO, I SHOULD SAY (BECAUSE OF MY EXPERIENCES ON HERE SO FAR) - I SHOULD MAKE IT CLEAR THAT I HAVE PRETTY RADICAL BELIEFS, i.e. I could make the average person fairly uncomfortable with my passion and intensity. However, it's usually not apparent right away. Just saying - to want me you have to be looking for an intense guy, no weak sauce.

Making sure that I don't end up the way 99% of people appear to me: bored, lifeless, passionless. Thoreau said the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. I am committed to NOT doing that. That is what my life is.

Currently, most of my time is directed towards self-education & learning how to really write, educating others (online), and working towards 3 books I am planning on writing simultaneously (god help me!): An introduction to Philosophy text (I'm yet to see one I actually think is worthwhile), a text tentatively called "Towards a Post-Civilization Theory: 20 reasons why we must abandon this system" (i can explain further if asked); and a work called "Aesthetic Logic: Kant, Heidegger and the New Realism" (this is a work on philosophical theories of aesthetics / design, from Plato to Hobbes through to Post-Modern Aesthetics (or lack thereof ;-)

If your looking for a guy with a ton of $$ to spend I am not him. If I need money I either work or scam. I'm not into buying girls dinner so that I can get laid either. Sorry, I know a lot of girls are looking for that, or so it seems.

I also love gardening and am working with people towards large-scale gardening projects. We are also buying multiple houses for large-scale housing collectives.

I am also very interested in working with a friend in designing / building sustainable structures that are both cheap, small and lyrical / poetic.

Is this where we're supposed to brag about ourselves?

Honestly, I am really good at simplifying complex ideas/phenomena (hence, I'm writer and speaker), working with very-different/frustrating people (hence, I make a good bartender / bouncer), and I think I'm a great thinker / feeler (though compared to my brilliant friends I feel inferior). I'm really great with Dogs. I am really, really great with children, especially toddlers and babies. Eventually - EVENTUALLY - I will have a million kids.

That when Billy Idol's 'Rebel Yell' comes I on I go absolutely crazy !!!

I am a delicate origami creature, complex and manifold. I am a delicate paper structure, with words and form, waiting for the right girl to unfold me

... just kidding. That's not what people notice, though I wish they did ;-)

They probably notice (i) my size and intensity (though I'm growing smaller, and have toned down my personality); (ii) my articulation (or pretentiousness, however you see it); (iii) my piercings.

Books: Because I'm writing multiple books, and because of the creative work I make, I'm reading a lot of obscure / technical works on philosophy, politics and design. Those aren't my favorites, though. My favorites would be Ian McEwen (atonement, Saturday), Flannary O'Conner (a good man is hard to find), The Torah, Shakespeare, Derrick Jensen (anarcho-primitivist) and Kafka, I guess.

Reading Moby Dick right now ... Queequeg is my hero.

Best Novels (in no particular order): (1) Richard Wright's Black Boy; (2) Flannary O'Conner's I would Have Saved them if I could; (3) Cervantes' Don Quixote; (4) The Book of Job (from the Hebrew Bible); (5) Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller; (6) O'Brian's The Things they Carried; (7) Ian McEwen's Saturday -or- Atonement; (8) Invisible Cities; (9) Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury; (10) Everything is Illuminated ...

Best Poets (besides Shakespeare): (1) Louis Gluck; (2) TS Elliot; (3) Dickenson; (4) Cezlaw Milosz; (5) Keats ...

Movies: as a part of my straight-edge ethics I avoided watching movies throughout high-school and my early 20's. I am no longer straight edge, and I am trying to learn how to look at movies, or what is called 'film' by the pretentious. ;-)

Best Movies: (1) Raging Bull (deNero); (2) Dumb and Dumber (seriously ;-); (3) Bergman's Winter Light; (4) Gone with the Wind; (5) Ozu's Tokyo Story ...

Food? - Mostly Vegan (though I'm not technically Vegan). I'm learning to cook. I eat what might be close to a 'bodybuilding vegan diet'? It costs money, usually, so that's the dillema.

Music? - When most people say "I listen to everything" they usuallyt don't know what they mean. When I say "everything" I really do mean that, and I am constantly searching out new music - from Vivaldi to Eastern African drum music, from Kings of Leon to the most avante-garde noise music. But I do love a lot of pop music - from Manson to Pete Yorn. I do make electronic / drum-and-bass music, so that is a part of my interest.

Best Musical Pieces: (1) Chopin's 5th Nocturn; (2) Coldcut & Shadow's Brainfreeze; (3) Soundtrack to The Unforgiven (clint eastwood); (4) Phillip Glass's Aguas da Amazonia (performed by Uakti); Bach's Cello Suites ... maybe Stravinsky's Right of Spring ...

Best Lyrics: (1) Bob Dylan (obviously); (1.5) Bright Eyes, (2) Jack White, (2.5) Son House (since he pretty much invented the Blues Lyric); (3) Joni Mitchell, (4) James Maynard Keenan (tool, a perfect circle) and (5) Ani DiFranco ... and (6) 2pac ... (7) Radiohead ...

Best DJ's/noise: (1) Dj Spooky; (2) Coldcut; (3) Autechre; (4) Underground Resistance; (5) RZA (wu-tang). (6) Boards of Canada -- (7) Dj Shadow, Qbert and Mix Master Mike ... oh yeah, of course: Riceboy Sleeps and Sugur Ros' (duh) - & Also, while I'm at it: Johnny Greenwood's solo stuff ...

Best Songs of All-Time: (1) More than a Feeling (Boston); (2) How Come You Don't Call me Anymore? (Prince); (3) Bell-Bottom Blues (Clapton); (4) Exit Music for a Film (Radiohead) -or- Nude (Radiohead); (6) Rock'n'Roll Suicide (Bowie) -

Favorite Albums: (1) Undertow (tool); (2) Little Plastic Castles (Ani); (3) In Rainbows (Radiohead); (4) Entroducing (Dj Shadow); (5) Alice in Chains Unplugged. (6) For Emma, Forever Ago (Bon Iver).

If you've ever seen 'High Fidelity' you will probably laugh when I make a list for every genre ... even 'the top 5 albums about death'. ;-)

I'm interested in learning to listen to silence .

The land base which supports all of life. We forget that we cannot live without this land. We think that economics can be more important than ecology - but we'll be proven wrong.

Food.

Water.

Close Friends / lovers.

Writing / philosophy.

Great sex

This is boring, but there are some pretty specific things I think about: The problem of consciousness (a fundamental philosophical / scientific problem regarding the relationship between objective materiality and subjective experience - which is primary?); Modality (the study of relations between events, such as my ex-girlfriend leaving me and me getting on this site ;-p)

I think if most people really concentrated over a given time-span they would find that what they 'spend a lot of time thinking about' is very different than how they idealize themselves. I might be the same?

Besides theory, I think a lot about the practicality and feasibility of dismantling the industrial-system. I think about human nature and what is best for it (if it exists).

At work until about 2 AM, unless we're super-slow ...

Preferably, I will be on my second floor deck cooking, drinking, hanging out and talking playfully about serious things ... usually this is with other people, sometimes by myself ;-)

Or, I will more than likely be working, kicking drunk middle-aged men out of bars, telling stupid-girls that they need to quit showing their yoo-hoo's to the bartender because they're not going to get any free-drinks ...

Or I might be at Missy B's doing my thing on the stripper pole ...

I might be at a bar begging the DJ to play "Cars" by Gary Numan

... I"m kinda into cosoplay ;-) & especially live Stravinsky dance performances.

.. but I abhor Halloween. The real horror is the everyday life of most people. Duh.

If your a guy then let's get dressed up in animals clothes and head to Missy B's ... and totally make asses of ourselves, drink too much, and end up in jail in our bunny costumes.

If your a girl then let's go out and explore abandoned buildings together, I'll bring a flash light and phillips head screwdriver ... then let's go liberate dog's who are chained up in their yards.

Boy or Girl: let's have sex in public and never look back ..

these are all things I'm willing to admit as my desires. Who's with me?

The worlds' pain is totally unseen. I fall in love with girls who are moved by something other than their own personal drama. I'm attracted to girls who can see my pain and who can allow me to see their's.

I fall in love with boys who do not feel victimized by an anti-gay culture, but are ready to confront it head on.

I like girls who punch rude guys in bars.

I like boys who can fix a flat tire.

OK, now that i've been on a few (or more) okcupid dates I'm going to just write out what I've come to find I am NOT looking for:

* It you are super-flaky - like unable to meet up on time, unable to communicate, unable to be honest - then we probably won't get along. I understand that life can be complicated, but if that comes before authentic honesty then forget it.'

* If you immediately dismiss illegal activities on "moral grounds" ... then forget it.

* If you think women should shave their arms and legs .. then forget it. Only boys should. Duh.

WE WILL GET ALONG GREAT IF:

* You are open to new-ideas, willing to think outside the normal neo-liberal paradigm ... I'm not talking about S&M necessarily, but I am talking about considering the idea that our society is the most violent society in history, that our culture is destroying the earth, and that the industrial system must be dismantled before it kills everything.

* Message me if you think politics are boring as fuck.

* Can have a conversation over a broad-range of topics, from art to politics, from literature to ecology ...

* If you are interested in just being my friend and you want to talk about ANYTHING that is serious, from gardening techniques, to philosophy, to Film and Art, to literature, or even about pop culture.

* Or, if you are interested in having a relationship that is more than that. Be yourself. Be honest about your desires. TELL ME WHAT YOU DESIRE.

Could I find a girl who would both work out with me, talk about Van Gogh, plan a revolution and then have sex like never before? Could I find a girl / boy of such complexity?

If there are any sugar-momma's out there - let me know ;-)