I go to shitty bars to see shitty bands. I drink shitty beer. I have tattoos, arguably stupid tattoos.
I am strong like many oxen. I become strong like ox by lifting heavy things and putting them down in other places. I can carry many bags of groceries.
My brain works mostly well. It has the ability to tell me how much more correct I am than you are.
I have little hair on the top of my head, but make up for it with a powerful red beard.
I have a dog. I like her to be a dog and do stupid dog things that other people generally dislike about dogs. She is snoring on my couch right now. She can eat whole sticks of butter if left unattended.
I like baseball games and football games. I don't like to leave early.
I like to look for treasures at thrift stores. One of my most cherished finds was an old metal plaque that says "Screw Room." I don't know if it's from a whore house or some sort of tool store.