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34 Seattle, WA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25-45
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Oct 13
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Other and it’s important
Doesn’t have kids but wants them
English (Fluently), German (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm just looking for someone who's demons play well with my own.

I do the poly thing. I do the kink thing too.
*Explanation at the bottom of this section*

I'm a take charge, fast-on-his-feet-thinker that handles things as they come. I'm calm in a crisis and don't sweat the little stuff either. A friend of mine described me as being "nonchalant about things no one is ever nonchalant about."

I'm a big believer in equality and freedom. I vote left for social justice and am all about people (can we call politicians people?)not telling me what I can or can't do (strictly in a non-sexy kind of a way).

I love Seattle. I've lived here since 2006, it fulfilled a dream from when I was a kid in Eastern Washington. I don't always think I fit in the best here though. Here I feel like it's not just my edges that are rough, but the first few layers too. I am a gentleman, not necessarily a gental man.

Work and community involvement take up a good chunk of my time and while some people list reading and fitness as a hobbies I consider it a part of a well rounded life.

*Ethical Non-Monogamy*
The aforementioned poly thing... I might do it a little different than other people. Until I have a close connection, something that looks like "serious" I try to avoid terms like "primary partner". Until that point, I suppose, I treat things more like secondary relationships, because one I'm in a "primary relationship" I tend to be much more focused on that relationship than on others, leaning more towards monogamish. That is especially true if a D/s dynamic evolves (and I think that is a thing that should organically evolve, and not be coaxed in to existence). NSPP

*Orientation Disclaimer*
Seriously, a drop down for this, and not a fill-in-the-blank? "Straight" work, in a way. I'll admire the male form, but sorry fellas, I'm into the feminine (and I deliberately say feminine, because screw gender binary, and neat little boxes to put people in.)

“Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power.” ~Oscar Wilde
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I've been running a sex positive community group for 18-35 year olds for four years now (That'd be Rain City TNG. I'd say check it out our website, but FL is really the best option at the moment). Outside of the social functions we collectively host I also teach workshops on various subjects.

Career wise, I'm in a non-tech field that I'm rather good at, and kind of hate a little bit, steadily climbing the ladder to a more comfortable position.

I graduated from Seattle University in 2013. Grad school is on my mind a lot, because while fun, and super interesting, I don't see that English/Creative Writing degree paying the bills any time soon.

Fitness and exercise science/nutrition are a huge passion of mine. I'm always striving for the next goal.

I'm trying to get back into backpacking. Wonderland and the Inca trail are on my wanderlust list.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cooking. While it is mostly low carb, and sometimes on the boring side I love to barbecue and I love cooking for others.
Writing. I think so at least. There have been a lot of editors that disagree, and some that have been nice enough to print the words I've strung together.
Forgetting what I'm supposed to be doing when I start reading a good book or good bad book.
Rope I can tie a knot like a sonofabitch, and try to impart my skills to others.
Home Brewing. I have a love for good beer, so I've been learning to make my own. I have a nice robust porter, and a smooth citricy heffewizen worked out, so far.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've assumed that my state of dress was the first thing that people noticed, so I asked around and here is what I got:
"You seemed almost professionally devoted and utterly gentlemanly."
"You looked damn good in a suit."
"You looked killer in a suit & you reminded me of Biff from Back to the Future."
I don't ware that suit too often these days, but I try to clean up when I go out.
"Where is your accent from?" I'll give you three guesses and will be surprised if you get it right. It is neither West Virginia (I was a little offended by that one) or South Carolina.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I like good books; I like bad books that suck me in.
Recent favorites include: Gone Girl, Blood Meridian, and Joyland.
Some of my all time favorites are:
The Heart of Darkness, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Red Planet, and Dreamcatcher. I've always been a big Stephen King fan; I squarely blame my mother for that.

I don't have a TV, so my exposer is a little limited.
Hannibal might be some of the best TV I've seen in a long time. Mads Mikkelsen has kind of reinvented the character in a great way.
House of Cards, Orange is the New Back, and Longmire.
I like Netflix documentaries too. Like the stuff on Discovery and Smithsonian Channel.

I started playing guitar when I was 15. I've grown a great appreciation for musicianship. Even if I don't like a genre, I like good musicians.
An appreciation for Country, folk, and bluegrass is appreciated (bonus points if you want to go two-steppin').

I like good movies and entertaining movies. I tend towards suspense, thrillers, and horror (I love good "found footage" horror), and Star Wars. I can't usually get into sic-fi, but I am a huge Star Wars nerd.
I won't even try with a favorites list here.

Don't get me started. I love cooking. It's a big part of who I am. I gravitate towards NW Pan-Asian when I'm cooking. I love eating real Mexican food. Everything else is up for negotiations. I like trying new foods.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A good book
Something to write with. A pen, a tablet, an iPhone, anything.
Happy hour
Friends that are like family
My gym bag
30' of hemp rope
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Balance. "Life should be balanced, like a clean suit and a dirty martini."
How to finish this book.
Where did these people learn to drive?

I've recently become fascinated with chemistry, and I guess to a lesser degree microbiology not on a large scale, but practical applications.

"When is this cardio session going to be over!!!"

I wish I had more time...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Friday night is a crap shoot. Sometime out at a party, or sexy adventure (in my social circles the two are often one) sometimes chilling at home with Netflix. Other? Is other an option here?

If it was leg day I'll probably be walking like I was just horseback riding for 12 hours, you can giggle, and/or roll your eyes, but try not to point it out too much, please. I'm well aware I look a little silly walking like I'm bow legged.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
You can find me on FL: Josef_Abrams.
If we have similar intests there, well we might want to hang out.

Oh and I have this little phobia of the water. That extends to boats as well.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You enjoy cocktails and conversations, reading - specifically literature and genre fiction, but anything that is reading for enjoyment is just fine. I'm a writer, so if you don't appreciate literary art, picture a painter trying to date someone that hates art museums.

You think reading to each other is sexy. Bonus points if you want me to read my own work ;)

Cocktails can be replaced with outdoor activities. Conversations will happen either way.

You can talk a little (or are interested in) nutrition and sports science. I stay up on this stuff and love talking about it.

On the Vanilla to Deviant spectrum you fall somewhere right of Vanilla, but just a little left of Deviant.