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35 East Elmhurst, NY Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24–34
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 9:41pm
Hispanic / Latin
6' 1" (1.85m)
Body Type
Buddhism and it’s important
Working on Space camp
Might want kids
Has dogs
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat), Portuguese (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Born and raised in NYC, I just got back from living in Chicago for 4 years,--what a strange and wonderful place!--but it never completely felt like home. I would never trade my time there, and would love to return to the Windy City someday under better circumstances. That's another story.

I don't put a great deal of stock in OkC's match percentages; people are far too complicated to be quantified in such a crude manner. It's a decent way to get a general idea about someone, but that's about it.

I'm not hunting for anything serious, more a sexy partner in crime; if the right girl comes along, let's go for it, but honestly it's gonna take quite a bit to impress me these days. If you're as comfortable getting drunk and watching movies at home as you are getting drunk and wandering around the city until sunrise, we might get along quite well...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
You might describe me as a factotum by trade. I do not live to work, I work to live. My only fiscal ambition is to make enough money to be comfortable--the hedonistic comforts of extravagant wealth hold very little interest for me. I have a far greater passion for social justice, and have spent most of my lifetime trying to figure out which of my (many?)talents I can put to best use in service of this cause; I've only recently decided to try writing as a catalyst for the dialogue of social equality--that, or comedy. I've never really dabbled much in either before.

Wish me luck.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Adapting to new ideas, people, and situations.

Fighting off PCP addicts on the E train in Queens(true story).

Not being exactly what you expect.

Hugging adorable puppies and kittens.

Breaking the law in front of the police station.

Phone(and message) tag.

Attempting to respond to almost every message on OKC, not because I'm being polite, but because I think that most people can be pretty cool once you get to know them, and everyone has at least one interesting story to tell. What's yours, fucker?

Scoffing at the television while watching Fox News or MSNBC; CNN too, for that matter.


Dancing like an idiot.

Playing Robin Hood of the road.

Fruit Ninja.

Eating really spicy buffalo wings.

Eating all of your peanut butter(with a spoon).

Fucking around trying to create interesting sentences--yes, I know my grammar isn't always perfect. A little roughness around the edges can make anything(and anyone) more interesting.

Attempting to watch most of the Youtube videos that some of you ladies post in your profiles.

Laughing at this almost every time I see it:

Wearing white t-shirts more often than James Dean.

Putting things in perspective, or coming up with a plan. Staying calm when the storm comes.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My sense of humor, or my frankness, I think(or maybe I hope?). If I were a character in a movie I'd probably be Jason Segel in I Love You, Man.

Physically, I'd say my height, or maybe my smile. I've been told that I have very expressive eyes, too.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Too many to list, really; as of now the best movie I've seen recently was Mary and Max. Breaking Bad is my favorite show at the moment--Mad Men and the Walking Dead have also crept into the running(AMC is just fabulous). Dark Side of the Moon and Cream's greatest hits are on heavy rotation in my car, and I'm just finishing up The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan.

I feel guilty because I haven't read a good work of fiction in a while.

I enjoy the Caveman Diet, and I assume that's it's healthier since mankind has only been eating that way for 99% of it's existence and turned out just fine. That being said, I think that a vegan or vegetarian lifestyle is a morally neutral act just the same as eating meat--plants are living organisms, too! I'm trying to do a better job of staying away from heavily processed foods--they usually make you feel like shit rather than full, don't they? I also don't have much of a sweet tooth.

Ethnic food of almost any kind is awesome.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Food, water, shelter, access to knowledge, alcohol, contact with the people I love. I like to keep life simple.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The shape of things.

The vastness of space.

Thinking about when our commodity-based global capitalism, prefaced upon the myth of unlimited growth and resources, will collapse, and--if I'm still alive when it happens--what can be done about it.

But I'm actually a very positive person.

Are we the dream, or the dreamers?

Why someone would say that you shouldn't message me if you're not cool, or don't message me if you're a creeper--how would an uncool creep know that he is, in fact, boring and frightening all at once? And when did you become the authority on cool anyway?

How to balance my liberal/libertarian political views. If Ron Paul and Ralph Nader made a baby, I'd probably vote for him/her.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Tripping the light fantastic..

Or watching shit on Netflix.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Most people tell me I'm very outgoing, but I believe I can be a bit taciturn at times; by extension, I am most at ease with others who can enjoy a comfortable silence now and again. Mini road trips with awesome music turned up to 11 is a great way to pass the time with friends.

I killed Professor Plum in the dining room with a lead pipe.

When I was five, I would eat crayons and erasers. This is probably no longer relevant information.

I am mostly an optimist, but I also maintain what I perceive as a healthy cynicism.

I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump n' grind.

I have a slight weakness for aphorisms.

"I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am." - Joseph Baretti

I agree with the above statement, and it makes me sad sometimes.

Ladies, your baby pictures are just adorable, but I'll be damned if I don't feel a little strange browsing a dating website and coming across pictures of you at the tender age of four.

It surprises me how many women on OkC have serious racial/religious/cultural prejudices, and that also makes me sad. Get the fuck over yourself.

I wish I was born in the 50's.

I might eye hump your profile for a few days before I send you a message.

I'm creepy and uncool.

My fucking leg is asleep.

I'm on Facebook for at least five minutes every day(but never on Twitter).

I might lean on the phrase "fucking awesome" a little too much.

I might be a quickmatch whore.

If I message you, part of the reason may be that I think you're attractive. For a dating website, there are a remarkable number of women who seem to have a problem with this.

I was high when I wrote most of this profile; I might have been drunk when I looked at yours.

I haven't updated this shit in a while.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
George is your favorite Beat... Wait, what? You don't love The Beatles? I'm sorry. This just isn't going to work out.

You live to love and enjoy the moment.

You like guys who can be alternately goofy and extremely serious.

You think you could disarm me with your smile.

You want to punch LMFAO square in the mouth.

You enjoy alcohol in all it's forms.

You enjoy dive bars. Or karaoke bars. Or bars with board games.

You're laid back and spontaneous; you dont mind going to the beach at four in the morning, and you don't rule out skinny dipping when you get there.

Your passion is compassion.

You want to play.

You're a tough, risky bitch who's not afraid to earn a few cuts and bruises snowboarding, falling off a skateboard, playing sports, or biking drunk; you think of bitch as a term of endearment.

You have many leather-bound books, and your apartment smells of rich mahogany.

You like Jambalaya, and are up for trying to make it from scratch.

You respect and enjoy simple honesty; you love people who call you on your shit without making you feel like an asshole, and you like to do the same for your friends; you feel a much stronger obligation to be kind rather than just polite.

You're a night owl.

You enjoy deeply intense conversations followed by boob jokes.

You're a hooker with a heart of gold.

You see your life as an evolving work of art.

You're not hung up on guys always making the first move.

You are a quiet revolutionary; you believe most rules were meant to be broken.

You're a humble super genius.

You don't accept the notion that there need to be "haves" and "have nots".

You want a massage, or you want to cuddle.

You just want someone new to talk to.

You've got legs for miles.

You hate Jersey Shore and all that it represents.

You avoid playing games(unless the game is Apples to Apples).

You're still reading this shit.

You like big butts and you cannot lie.

You're a positive motherfucker.

You're fucking awesome.

You want to; you get that most of what I write here is a joke, or at least half of one.

Buy the ticket, take the ride. Infinity points if you know who said that.