After slinging coffee for the better part of a decade and a half, I
decided that - although the barista life is quite glamorous indeed
- perhaps there was more to life than pouring rosettas and choking
back bile (figuratively due to be-poloed dumdums and literally due
to my body's increasing rejection of awful and ubiquitous Macrina
So five years ago, I decided to head back to school, and guess
what? I just graduated from UW with a degree in Computer Science!
How the fuck did that happen?
I'm tentatively going to start a graduate degree in computational
linguistics in the fall; the problem is that I've recently fallen
in love with the field of computer graphics. Conflicted? You bet.
I've recently rediscovered the piano. Learning that sick
Bach French suite gigue
and some tunes from various Final
What about the future? Here's a partial sampling of my
post-graduation bucket list; ahem:
(1) Relentlessly smack every middle-school administrator in the
country until we get discrete math into our junior high school
(2) Write a bunch of nonsensical pornography in Latin and
anonymously mail it to my professors (a sample: Ea pastillum sub
testiculos coniugis posuit et tabulam suarum mammarum ad cattum per
(3) Determine whether the board game 'Ora et Labora' is solvable
(NOTE: I am probably not smart enough to actually accomplish
(4) Learn how to make sushi for myself and my friends so that I am
not broke all the time from eating at sushi restaurants every
single night and also so that I will be even more popular than I
(5) Go as long as possible without ever finding out what 'twerking'
(6) Read 'The Trial' (I've started it 6 times now but something
always comes up and I have to start over)
(7) OK seriously? Aggressively expand Computer Science programs in
Washington state - targeting high schools and community colleges in
(8) Eat an entire red velvet cake in one sitting.