I am large. I contain multitudes.

For the record, if Walt Whitman were alive today, I would send him hate mail. I suppose that's as good a jumping off point as any.

I could regale you with my adventures here, but wouldn't you rather exchange life stories over beers / sandwiches / pizza / beers / sushi / beers / beers?

Oh, ok...I am currently studying computer science at the University of Washington. Yes I know, but before you immediately assume that my IQ is like a billion or something, I should also point out that I also managed to put my deodorant on the outside of my shirt this morning. So there's that.

In addition, I am thrilled to be a newly minted teacher's assistant, which has thus far proven to be one of the most satisfying experiences of my life, despite the embarrassingly high number of "I'll have to get back to you on that question" and/or "I seem to have misplaced all those assignments that you guys just worked on all weekend" moments I've had. Perhaps even more importantly, said role-model-type position has allowed me the honor and privilege of quitting my coffee job, which had inexplicably managed to last thirteen years. (But who's counting? ME! I'M COUNTING!)

After school I see myself doing something more theory-y (i.e. non- computer-based game design) and less software-y (i.e. Excel), but we'll see!

In High Fidelity, John Cusack's charater Rob puts forth the following -- "It's what you like, not what you ARE like that's important". So that you might judge me thusly, enjoy:

In general, I tend to favor works containing lots of high structural elements; but I suppose that some humanity and a bit of whimsy never killed anyone, either.

Books:
Ulysses, Moby Dick, Cloud Atlas, House of Leaves, Cryptonomicon, Tristram Shandy, The Brothers Karamazov, The Tin Drum, The Fixer, Grapes of Wrath, One Hundred Years of Solitude, Hunger, Blindness, blah blah blah...whatever. I laughed out loud (begrudgingly) at Eeeee Eee Eeee and even cried a little at The Time Traveler's Wife. Just don't count The Lovely Bones among your favorites, and we're good to go. Also, David Sedaris has always sucked. Sorry.

UPDATE APRIL 2013: I'm currently taking a Nabokov course and am growing increasingly annoyed with each passing day. The jury's still out, but it's not looking good for Vlady...

Movies:
Gah. Don't know where to begin here. I love old Samurai movies; Hara-Kiri, Samurai Rebellion, Seven Samurai, Yojimbo, etc. I'm obsessed with the Leone/Morricone/Eastwood trinity. I think David Wain's stuff (Wet Hot American Summer, The Ten, Role Models) is all pretty hilarious. If it's our first date, I might make you watch Buffalo 66, just so I seem more appealing by comparison.

Shows:
Party Down is so funny I can't stand it. It might be better than Arrested Development; no joke (though we'll see what season 4 brings; can't wait!). Otherwise: Archer, Louis, The State, and Mitchell & Webb are some comedic favorites; whereas The Killing probably wins for drama (non-campy), and of course Damages (moderately campy). There's some good anime out there, but it's hanrd to find: Baccano, Samurai Champloo, Death Note, and Moribito are a few good ones that come to mind. Finally: SG-U is the greatest sci-fi ever (F U Battlestar). Blah blah yada yada; this is probably all the same stuff everyone else watches. I mean, it's not like YOU watch reality TV, right? (I am such a dick.)

Music:
Let's talk about this later. People are funny about music.

1. The Soup Bible
2. Mental M_st_rb_t__n
3. White Noise (the Android App, not the novel, which is even more pretentious than this insufferable profile)
4. Like ten Kombuchas a day
5. Sexy Time
6. My cat Abby, who is afraid of spiders, sudden movements, oxygen, and herself

Since I no longer have to wake up when it's dark out on Saturday morning, I am most likely surrounded by a couple of friends, playing board games concerned with such things as running shipping companies or managing a 15th-century monastery in Ireland.

I used to watch Dawson's Creek.

...if you are interested in a consistent, fun, and respectful hook-up. Ideally, I'd like to find one (or maybe two at the absolute most) persons with whom to share a bed, tasty food, and outings of various sorts.

Also...

A) You don't feel that cynicism and optimism are mutually exclusive
B) You think that the unholy trinity of David Sedaris, Dave Eggers, and Dave Matthews should all be relocated to distant planets
C) You'd like to bring your competitive (but not douchey) spirit to board game name night
D) You think that watching a live show called "Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction" doesn't sound like a terrible idea
E) You would not use the word "scabby" to describe yourself