I am a dynamic man, known for my mastery of reverse origami, the
art of unfolding paper. I appear closer in your rearview mirror.
Yard work and marksmanship are two things I find calming, I rarely
do them together anymore. I have received worldwide acclaim for my
creation of the tuna and salsa sandwich. The laws of physics don’t
apply to me. I can deftly navigate Ikea without the use of a map. I
play with my food. I can neither tell you publicly nor privately
that I have ever been a member of Seal Team Six. I am agile and
nimble. I haven’t tripped in 14 months, 12 days (edit: 2 days). I
drink, I laugh, I socialize. I am wanted in Peru and adored in
Venezuela. I started my own religion, but was excommunicated. Using
my knowledge and skills in botany, I have been able to keep my
violet alive for 18 days in a row. I can comb my hair without the
aid of a mirror. I wear blue well. I can fly. I enjoy camping, but
when I do, I do it in a hotel. I am trusted by children, dogs and
drunks. I am a savvy man of mystery. I have been known to bake a
thirty minute pizza in twenty minutes.
What are people saying about Jupiter?
The New York Times calls him
"Scintillating, a must see!"
Le Monde says
"Gosh, we wish he were French"
Joanna Cole, editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan Magazine says
"Me likey!! Nom nom"
Chuck Norris of Chuck Norris fame says:
"If I had it to do all over again, I would be more like
Pliny the Elder says:
"Quidquid latine dictum, altum videtur"
I'm neither a glass half full nor half empty kind of guy, I'm more
of a guy who needs a refill.
I want to find that one (1) girl who I want to share everything
with, from that hilarious link, the article I just read in the WSJ
or NYT, trying out that new joint that just opened up and with whom
I can't keep my hands off. Prefer the adventuresome type of girl
who is wicked-smart with a sense of humor. Be bold, love to laugh
and enjoy life. You're out there. Get over here.