Remember, if I seem awesome on here, the only thing that's evidence of is that I'm good at making online dating profiles.

I know the difference between their, they're, and there.

I don't really like describing myself in sales pitch format, which is what these essays invariably are. In reality, I'm a jumble of contradictions, like most people. The most germane to this topic is that I have a pretty good self esteem while still being plenty self conscious about my failings, both real and imagined.

But here's the sales pitch:

I'm pretty funny when my jokes land.

I'm smart enough to know that I know some things and don't know others.

I'm pretty charming when I'm not over thinking it.

I'm a pretty good conversationalist when it comes to something worth having a conversation about.

I'm pretty good at the things I've spent time getting good at, though I still want to be better at them and everything else in the world.

I always look up when an airplane flies overhead.

Maintaining a very tenuous grip on sanity as construction turns the empty lot outside my window into an apartment building.

Selling myself on Internet dating sites.

Yeah, not really.

I have really nice eyes.

Hopefully, the next thing is whatever insightful thing I just said.

Movies: Star Wars (the old ones), Sunshine (until the third act), Children of Men, Rear Window, Galaxy Quest, Airplane!, Indiana Jones, Back to the Future, Star Trek (the old ones), Casablanca, The Third Man, Big Fan, Brothers Bloom.

Books: Joseph Heller (Catch-22), Vonnegut, Kim Stanley Robinson (The Mars Trilogy), Douglas Adams, Cory Doctorow, Arthur C. Clarke, Asimov.

TV: Daily Show and Colbert Report (religiously), Star Trek (like whoa), Modern Family, Community, Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, Futurama, Archer, Louie.

Music: The Shins, Presidents of the USA, They Might Be Giants, Ben Folds, Johnny Cash, The Beatles, R.E.M., Bob Dylan, Neko Case, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

Food: Italian food and I get along very well.

Good conversation.
The ocean.
My camera.
A pen and paper.
Chocolate.
The Air and Space Museum.

Storytelling. The truth. The future.

Either in or out, usually watching a movie in either case. Or exploring.

I'm a sucker for a nice pair of legs in stockings. It's the button that short circuits the rational part of my brain.

You should message me if you have something more to put in that message besides a wink or a "Hi" and nothing else. If I sent that to you, it would never fly and you know it. Read my profile and ask me any question you think is interesting.

This is how I describe most of the women I normally date:

She is attractive, quick-witted, has a sense of style, mature but irreverent, completely independent, and knows how to make somebody laugh.

Educated and curious, she is always ready to go exploring. She hasn't decided if Los Angeles is where she wants to spend the rest of her life but she loves it here despite those things about LA that get on her nerves. She smiles a lot.

She has good friends and prefers discussing ideas and events rather than people. She has a passion, preferably for changing the world for the better. Traveling is a must.

Has similar interests, but can show me something new, teach me something I don't know. Considers herself a challenge.

If you think this describes you or are just really fucking cool, you should message me.