Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
a lot of stuff as you can see below....
1) That the scariest moment in life is the moment you realize you
leaned back in your chair just a little too far and you just might
fall and crack your head open...
2).... and then you recover your balance and breathe a sigh of
4) ...and then do it all over again.
5) I am going to be sooooo upset if Charlie Sheen lives longer than
I do. I swear I'm going to haunt him if I die first. That is, if
watching him doesn't kill what is left of my soul.
6) When I'm driving, I hate pedestrians...when I'm walking I hate
drivers... but no matter what, I always hate bicyclists
7) I wasted most of the 3rd grade learning to write cursive.
Especially since I use print for EVERYTHING!
8) NEW Do strippers after a long shift, get home,
start to undress, and think "Damn, I'm still working!!"
9) I believe erectile dysfunction advertisements are the cause of
most erection problems.
10) Italics is not good enough to show sarcasm when emailing or
texting. Someone seriously needs to come up with a 'SARCASM'
11) I hate red lights when I'm driving, unless I'm texting then
I'll even slow down at yellow lights just to get caught at the red
light so I can finish a couple of messages uninterrupted.
12) I love almost every song on my I-Pod but when I put it on
shuffle I always ... ALWAYS ... end up skipping a bunch of songs
until I get to something I want to hear.
NEW 13) I think a good name for a store that sells
used atrificial limbs can be "The 2nd Hand Second Hand Store" (ba
NEW 14) It has been over 30 years after the
Chernobyl Nuclear Disaster and we still haven't heard of a Russian
version of a superhero, like The Russian Hulk?
15) Did anybody notice that there isn't a
16) I'm thinking about getting a tattoo. Something like a bar code
that is equivalent to my social security number on my forearm. I
was thinking I could swipe my arm under price scanners in different
stores and see how much I cost.
NEW 17) A USA Today poll showed there's a fine
line between a 'neighborhood watch program' and being a vigilante.
I think you're a vigilante if you have your own theme music and
wear a mask and/or cape.
also obscure lyrics, movie quotes, the weather (summer cannot come
back here soon enough), the people in the office above me, how can
I go about impressing you, did I set my DVR to record the right
program (?!?), the last clip on YouTube that should be on Tosh.0,
last night's Yankee game, how much I hate winter...etc.