Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've arranged my life so I have a whole lot of free time to eat
tacos, smoke bowls, drink in the bathtub, and never wake up before
noon. It's pretty great.
I like myself, I'm happy with my life, and I'm usually in a good
mood. I prefer to spend my time with people who fit that
description as well.
I really hate dancing.
Been getting kind of bored of OkC lately, so putting this out there
and seeing if I get any interesting results:
I’m looking for cool attractive guys who are into femdom. I’m
particularly into masochists, but if you’re not into pain we may
still be compatible. I’m generally more into control than
humiliation, but some of my favorite stuff could definitely be
described as humiliation. Not into crossdressers, strap-on, or
long-distance anything, sorry not sorry.
I’m non-monogamous and a full-time pro-domme, so if either of those
things are deal breakers, consider your deal broken.
I know having a BDSM-focused profile is gonna get me some weird
messages, so here are some guidelines:
1) Be a person. Message me about something other than your BDSM
interests. Don’t get me wrong, I’m quite interested in hearing
about those, too. But I’m not a fetish delivery robot and neither
are you, so let’s find something to say to each other that’s
unrelated to what gets us off.
2) I know I’m trolling for weird sex on the internet, but we’re
still gonna go on a date. You know that thing where you go out for
drinks with vanilla girls and don’t assume they’ll be sexing you
after? Same concept.
3) If you don’t show your face on your profile, send a link to some
photos in your first message so I know you have a face. (That said,
if you don't show your face and your profile DOESN'T contain kink
stuff or other incriminating info, I'll just assume you're
cheating. No thanks.)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Professional Dominatrix. Full time. No plans to quit anytime soon
and zero interest in anyone who has a problem with that. (I'm here
for dating, not clients, but if you want to hire me drop me a line
and I'll send you to my website. But once you've done that, don't
even think about asking me out.)
I also read a lot.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Pretty much everything else by Neil Gaiman
Pretty much everything by Terry Pratchett, especially his Long
China Miéville (especially Kraken)
Diana Wynne Jones is a goddess
The Magicians series by Lev Grossman
The Secret History
Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell
Never Let Me Go
The Red Tree (because it was fucking terrifying)
Death at a Funeral
Cabin in the Woods
Silence of the Lambs
Wicker Man (the original, not the remake)
Game of Thrones
Kids in the Hall
A Bit of Fry & Laurie
The Mighty Boosh
The Talking Heads
Things that taste nice
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Good reading material
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Quantum mechanics, what I'm going to cook next time I get around to
cooking, how much I wish dinosaurs were still around, why none of
you read books by women.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drinking somewhere divey.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Well, I just admitted to being a raging pervert in the first part
of my profile, so there's that.
I also take A LOT of selfies.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You wear really tight pants.
You like drinking in the sort of bars that aren't too noisy to
facilitate good drunk conversation.
You live in or close to Bushwick. I dislike long commutes.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.