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KaluzaKlein

26 Brooklyn, NY Woman

Woman

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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 21–33
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 10:04am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Thin
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Often
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Job
Other
Status
Single
Type
Non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Has cats
Speaks
English
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I live in Bushwick. I've arranged my life so I have a whole lot of free time to eat tacos, smoke bowls, drink in the bathtub, and never wake up before noon. It's pretty great.

I like myself, I'm happy with my life, and I'm usually in a good mood. I prefer to spend my time with people who fit that description as well.

Pro-brunch. Anti-dancing.

Been getting kind of bored of OkC lately, so putting this out there and seeing if I get any interesting results:

I’m looking for cool attractive guys who enjoy being submissive. I’m particularly into masochists, but if you’re not into pain we may still be compatible. I’m generally more into control than humiliation, but some of my favorite stuff could definitely be described as humiliation. Not into crossdressers, strap-on, or long-distance anything, sorry not sorry.

I’m non-monogamous and a full-time pro-domme, so if either of those things are deal breakers, consider your deal broken.

I know having a BDSM-focused profile is gonna get me some weird messages, so here are some guidelines:

1) Be a person. Message me about something other than your BDSM interests. Don’t get me wrong, I’m quite interested in hearing about those, too. But I’m not a fetish delivery robot and neither are you, so let’s find something to say to each other that’s unrelated to what gets us off.

2) I know I’m trolling for weird sex on the internet, but we’re still gonna go on a date. You know that thing where you go out for drinks with vanilla girls and don’t assume they’ll be sexing you after? Same concept.

3) If you don’t show your face on your profile, send a link to some photos when you message me so I know you have a face. (But like, if you don't show your face and your profile DOESN'T contain a lot of wildly personal kink stuff, I'll just assume you're cheating.)

ETA: how did adding all this weird shit make my messages so much better??? I'm not complaining, just surprised.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Professional Dominatrix. Full time. No plans to quit anytime soon and zero interest in anyone who has a problem with that.

I read a lot.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Sadism, eyeliner, finding good reading material.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm pretty.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
American Gods
Pretty much everything else by Neil Gaiman
Pretty much everything by Terry Pratchett, especially his Long Earth books
China Miéville (especially Kraken)
Diana Wynne Jones is a goddess
The Magicians series by Lev Grossman
The Secret History
Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell
Never Let Me Go
Lexicon
The Red Tree (because it was fucking terrifying)

Pan's Labyrinth
Death at a Funeral
Cabin in the Woods
Detention
Silence of the Lambs
Wicker Man (the original, not the remake)

Doctor Who
Game of Thrones
Hannibal
Luther
Kids in the Hall
A Bit of Fry & Laurie
The Mighty Boosh

Patrick Wolf
Joan Jett
The Talking Heads

Things that taste nice
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Coffee
Good reading material
Tasty food
Body pillows
BDSM
Velvet
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Quantum mechanics, what I'm going to cook next time I get around to cooking, how much I wish dinosaurs were still around, why none of you read books by women.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drinking somewhere divey.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Well, I just admitted to being a raging pervert in the first part of my profile, so there's that.

I also take A LOT of selfies.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You wear really tight pants.

You like drinking in the sort of bars that aren't too noisy to facilitate good drunk conversation.

You live in or close to Bushwick. I dislike long commutes.