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31 M Cleveland, OH

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:57am
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly halal
Other, and somewhat serious about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Okay), German (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
I'm real, don't play games, but have a lot of charm and sweetness I'm told, so not a creep or stalker. I'm very calm and relaxed most of the time and like to talk through disagreements or things like that. I try to never leave feelings hurt or anything like that.

I look fat in a lot of my pics, but I'm very fit and have a barrel chest, so it looks like I'm fatter than I am. I'm working on getting the weight down with different kinds of activities, from work out tapes, to gardening, to walking. And I've been eating very healthily for years: lots of veggies, reasonable portions, little or no snacking (and then making healthy choices). So far, it's working.

I'm liberal, leaning socialist, very pro-BGLT rights, and a feminist.

I'm funny, creative, romantic, eccentric, eclectic & electric.

They don't have an option for Unitarian Universalism, even though it's the fourth largest religion in the country!

On a final note for now, if you want to know what I prefer in a sexual partner, it's clear consent (i.e. verbal or a nod) or you're lucky to get your hand held. You can always initiate, of course, and I try to give consent consistently. In terms of other things, watch this, and see how you feel:
What I’m doing with my life
In Cleveland Heights, living my life, and helping the community and my family & friends where I can.
At present, I am planning to start studying for my teaching license, and looking at teaching online for a little work.

My new year's resolution is to be more assertive in getting what I want, without unduly imposing on people. That may not seem like much, but for some people, that's everything, and all but possible.

Do me a favor and watch this youtube video below, and then, before we continue, you can see which of these two sounds more like you:
I’m really good at
All kinds of things, friends and loved ones bring out your talents and creativities, so you may bring something good out of me.

Being honest, and doing the right thing. Some folks try to cloud the issues with matters of unspoken/unwritten laws, but ethos isn't about exclusiveness or ambivalence. There are gray areas, but when it comes to the law, it's our responsibility to observe that.

I got a health exam, and my heart and lungs are healthy, and even my eyesight is better than 20/20. Thank heaven for small favors.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes, hair, smile, broad shoulders, intelligence, sense of humor, height, strength.
I think I think too much, but whenever I think about that, Leonardo DiCaprio pops out of nowhere and tells me I'm in limbo. ;-)

One therapist I had described me as an indigo child, another described me as a highly evolved being. (I went to therapy to help cope with stress at difficult times in my life, none of them ever seemed to think I need it.)

I'm very laid back and gentle, and try to be so especially with children, animals, the elderly, and of course women. I have even managed to keep my head when threatened.

Some women seem to really want a guy who has it all together, even if she doesn't. I do my best, but I can't make everything work the way I want it. There are some things that are out of your control. So yeah, I'm also not a big control freak.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: autobiographies, novels, texts
Movies: comedies, scifi, action, drama, animated, fantasy, romance, romcom/chickflick
Music: a lot of older stuff, some newer stuff; I get picky about music I choose to listen to. I'll say it right now: reggae triggers flashbacks to bad times. I can't listen to it: not now, probably not ever.
Food: No pork, certain beans, lots of veggies, whole grains & lean protein. I like Italian, Indian, German, American, French, Slavic, and the pacific Asian styles of cuisine, including Chinese, Japanese, Thai, and Vietnamese. Also, I prefer to dine in for so many reasons, and I can cook a lot of different styles of cuisine.
The six things I could never do without
1. Love, companionship & affection
2. Music/movies/books & other stimulation
3. Good food & things to drink & clean water
4. Liberty/freedom, #socialjustice
5. Security/comfort
6. Communication/language

While I'm making lists, let's talk about turn offs:
- Try not to make all your pics selfies of you that are basically the same. Think: angles, lighting, outfits (casual vs formal vs work?). Showcase yourself.
- Don't bother to make a duck-face, or have a down-cleavage shot. The duck face does nothing for anyone, and I don't need to see that you have boobs. I'll appreciate the person 100x more, I guarantee that much. Your body is just the physical portion with which to show affection; there are parts of you I'll like more: promise.
- Also, don't make your pics all with friends, because I then have to decide which person looks the most alike in all these different pictures. Suddenly, I'm picking a face out of a lineup. Have one of you, on your own, in at least the top 3. It just makes it easier. And if the person in the picture is a kid who is not your child, specify. A lot of people specify, and it helps to know "Is the person with whom I'm communicating a divorcee, a family friend to someone with kids, etc."

Please don't take any of these as judgments of you or your profile. I could analyze a profile and nail the core drives of that person in about 15 minutes, but it's tiring, and sucks the fun out of things.
Also, I am immensely generous with quickmatch, and will round up, based on the match percentage, and certain other factors that impact how much. The percentage is a base-line, and I go from there.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Puns, ethics, balance, some deep stuff, life's pleasures, how thrilling a smart, sensible, attractive young woman is; the way women and men have been turned into some strange idea in postmodern society.

I thought of something today. What does equal partners mean to you? To me, it means a lot of things. To start, if I consent to something, it means I trust you, and you have the right to input and decide. If you touch my cheek and lean in, I'll decide whether or not I want to lean in, too, and meet you in a kiss, or pull in close enough only to look into your eyes. Likewise, if I put my arm gently around your shoulders, it's up to you to snuggle in and wrap yourself up in my arms, or vice versa. Hand holding is wonderful, because it's very consensual, has an element of security, and is as much platonic as it is romantic.
Beside that point, I feel like we don't decide for ourselves what it means to really be partners. I tell myself that I'll feel it out with the person, and then I never really find what I want. It's like grocery shopping without a list: you wind up with some of the things you need and a lot of stuff that you don't. So I hope that if you and I work well together, we'll both know what we need from one another, before we realize something's missing.

You will take (close) second place to my life and career for now, only because those need to take precedent, but I wouldn't ask you to sideline your life and career just for me. As far as I'm concerned, we can build a relationship without needing to spend all our time exclusively together. I want to have the whole deal eventually: wife, kids, and so on; but first I want to find someone to live with, and before that someone to see regularly.
And don't give me the nonsense of being friends, because it just means you rejecting me.
Plus, I love my friends, and don't close a door to them like that with a word like "just." My friends are beloved, and they can call me anytime, we can see each-other anytime, and even with ones who disagree with me on politics: we are happy to see one another. My friends are never "just" anything.
I don't date around or sleep around, and it's never about "conquests" like with some of those "players" who feel that kind of thing is enough.
On a typical Friday night I am
doing what I do other nights.

I'll take this portion of your time to talk a bit about first dates. I cannot promise that a first date will be magical. You have to help make that happen. But first dates are rarely that magical, because it's a first date. I think that it takes a few dates to find the magic.
One other thing, if you're one of these weirdos who's on a *dating site* looking to make friends, you're doing it wrong. I've heard it all: "I'm just doing me", "I have to focus on me now", "me, me, me, me, me, lalalala, I can't hear you over the sound of my importance!", "Career, blah blah, love is an impetus, blah blah, getting hung up on someone will be a bane on my life."
Whether you realize it or not, that's insulting. See, I was going to approach you as a friend, because that's how I approach everyone.
I wonder about these women who label a guy as a threat to her career. The reasons they cite aren't ones of disinterest, but of fear in losing control over their lives, like they give up on everything. As if I personally would want anything to do with a woman who didn't pursue her passions, be they science, the arts, human services, or whatever. Celibacy does not equal success.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I wear kilts. I have great legs, as guys go, from a lot of walking and hiking, so you shouldn't mind. I wear pants more often in colder weather.

I'm also a very musical guy. I sing, play guitar, and have studied piano, drums, trombone, and I noodle around with a harmonica, a bamboo flute, and an ukulele.

I have a weird thing for girls with short hair, when they can pull it off. It's not something I'll reject a girl over, just something I think looks attractive. I also like girls with long, flowing hair, when it works for them. It's none of my business how you keep your hair, because everything that I need is usually just under the hair, in the wonderful mind. I love a rich and exciting mind.

Also, this is hard to admit, but I am love-shy, to a degree. So if I write you, recognize that it is a bold gesture on my part, and that I am fighting my urge to sabotage myself, and assume rejection. On a date, or over the phone, I do want to talk to you, and will talk plenty, but don't expect me to initiate or ask everything about you. I want you to talk about yourself, and help me find out more, I just have a problem with pursuit of a love interest. I would much rather be the one being pursued, in a lot of ways. That's not saying I can't play equal parts or am wussy or submissive or something. I just am not real big on overtly seducing someone. Everyone says stuff like "friends first," and that's what I go for, but it seems like that's not what the women I've met really want.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
just don't be crazy or mean, stupid or a chain-smoking, chain-texting drama queen. I like people who have their own identities, and don't let mainstream society dictate who they are and how they do things.

When I say casual sex or activity partners, that's something that needs to be established from the get go, and not something I'm really seeking. A relationship means a lot more to me than a fling. I'm a tender lover, so you should be ready for that.

I treat my friendships and relationships as serious, but fun things to pursue. I don't chase after someone, I prefer to have someone initiate equally, and then I tend to stay in stride and steer things as needed. I can initiate, it just gets old quickly.

Also, this is a weird thing, but a lot of my best friends are gay, especially lesbians. I have no idea why, but while it's not all lesbians, carte blanche, a lot of lesbians I meet just click with me. I click with folks easily, though, so who knows? I think it's because lesbians don't care as much about some things that straight girls do. With a lesbian, you're "just friends," but you hear from them more often, by far, than straight women.

Additional reading: