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33 M Montrose, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 29–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Sep 21
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from two-year college
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Dutch (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Let me just say upfront, that I'm not sure how to start this thing off in a way that isn't cliche' (hi, hello, etc.) but since I like being different, I'm going to start it with, "Let me just say upfront".

Typically I'm a little too camera-shy, hence the lack of great photos (well, that, and my friends suck at taking pictures) but last week I had a few taken professionally and it turns out I don't have a horrible disfigurement after all. Bonus!

Along with being too camera-shy, I also happen to be:

Too modest
I struggle to mention my qualities without feeling like I'm bragging, however, I can tell you that I enjoy helping people and I almost can't ever bring myself to say no when asked for help, regardless of who's asking, or when. Sometimes, that really sucks. For me. On the other hand, you'll always know that if you desperately need someone to model a dress or lingerie for you, I'll be there to get you a mirror.

Too nice
I don't believe in Karma as the Buddhists do, where a person's actions affect not only their current life but also future lives, but I do believe that you get out what you put in. So, I put in respect, honesty and integrity, and expect the same in return. I once put in an axolotl, a platypus and a blob fish. Now I'm here.

Too observant
When I'm in group settings with loud talkers, I tend to observe more than partake and that may appear as me being anti-social, but most likely it's just I've observed that your girlfriend's boyfriend is an egotistical, emotionally immature, inevitably abusive bully, and I'm trying to figure out why she's not kicking him in the crotch right now, ensuring that he doesn't breed, and if I should do it for her.

Too heavy-footed
I like speed and I've gone at least as fast as 140 in a 600hp truck I used to own and drag race, and will own again one day. I also like it if I don't crash.

Too old-fashioned
I have fondly remembered a time and place where people cut their own grass, make their beds every morning, put the toilet lid down, raise their children on garden fresh vegetables instead of candy, wash their hands before handling food, keep the cap on the milk jug, train their pets to behave (and their children, which should go without saying, but these days...), value self-sufficiency, prefer homes that are cozy to those that echo, and getting high or intoxicated isn't a prerequisite to having a good time... and then I woke up.

Too self-destructive
Several times, I have lifted and carried the 350lb. transmission from my truck, by myself. This does not do pleasant things to my body, and you may find yourself saying to me, "Hey, my eyes are up here", not because I don't want to take my eyes off of your chest, lovely as I'm sure it is, but because that's as high as I can see until my spine stops being shaped like a pretzel.

Too positive
I'm not overbearingly cheerful, but I don't get too down about things, because I am a problem solver. No matter what the problem, if I don't immediately come up with a solution, just give me some time. As such, if you are of the solution solver variety, that is, one who finds problems to solutions to avoid taking action and changing things, especially when that change has to come from within yourself, then I shall also solve my problem of you by making us single.

Too Canadian
You may come home one day to find I've chopped down your dead tree, made firewood, kindling and a chopping block, made a pet out of that black bear that keeps coming into the city (his name is Bob), and made myself an ice cube igloo in your back yard because it was a sweltering 75 degrees and I was homesick.

I'm the guy your mother wishes you were dating. Here's hoping you get along with your mother, but if not, here's hoping she's on here, too.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Helping everyone else with theirs. I'm the guy you call when you need to get shit done, and done well.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Not holding grudges. If you ever manage to get me to hold a grudge against you, you deserve some kind of award. Like grapes. Sour ones.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Well, I haven't asked, but there was this one time (at band camp) when I took an hallucinogenic drug*, had an out-of-body experience and thought to myself, "Damn, I missed a spot all around my mouth when I was shaving."

*For the record, the hardest drug I've ever taken was a Tylenol 3 for a headache 14 years ago, excluding the occasional alcoholic beverage here and there.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I haven't done much reading of books for years, but a few I'll never forget until I'm old and decrepit, so like, a couple of years from now:
I Am A Bunny - The best kids book ever and my favorite as a child. I pestered my mother endlessly to read it to me and memorized it before I could read. Nowadays, I buy it for everyone else's kids. Surprisingly, "everyone else" now hates me.
Where the Red Fern Grows - A heart-wrenching story for pre-teens/teens about a boy and his dogs. I cried.
The Bone Doll's Twin - One of many sci-fi/fantasy books I used to read, but it stuck out as being unique and a great story.

The Princess Bride (my favorite)/Sunshine/The Sixth Sense/A.I. Artificial Intelligence/Les Miserables/Road to Perdition/The Machinist/My Girl/Donnie Darko/Kung Fu Hustle/The Shawshank Redemption/Million Dollar Baby/The Illusionist/Dumb and Dumber/Tucker and Dale vs. Evil/Inception/The Count of Monte Cristo/The Green Mile/No Country For Old Men/The Last Of The Mohicans/There Will Be Blood, Good Will Hunting, Memento, The Matrix, V For Vendetta... I like movies. A lot.

Musical interests are varied, but include:

Currently addicted to this duo:

and this trio:

Which is rather convenient, considering its conduciveness to my penchant for living. I don't really have a favorite. I like finding new places to eat, and I eat a lot. Sometimes I force... I mean, ask, the server to surprise me with anything from the menu. It's fun. For me.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Aside from the obvious choices like, friends and family, air, water, food, gravity, etc:

My camera.
Music. Listening to some now, in fact.
Integrity. You can never have too much.
Wide open spaces.
Snow during the holidays.
Someone to share awesome moments with. Like that time I split my scalp open and later pulled the 6 staples out myself. You had to be there. No, really. I needed help taking pictures of it.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why someone felt the need to report a couple of my nice photographs, which were an important part of my profile by visually representing one of my hobbies, even though they didn't have me in them. I mean, really, was that necessary? Also, you missed one.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Dodging stalkers.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I like how this question just assumes that everyone is a blabbermouth and therefore willing to admit something private, and in a coercive way, tries to make you feel guilty for not admitting something, as if I'm going to fall for that.

Anyway, I once had to be rescued from a mountain top. Don't tell anybody.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
... you are wishing I had sent, or would send, you a message. Sometimes, I peruse profiles and keep an open tab to go back and write a message at a later time/date, since all of my messages are custom made with no copy and paste and can take awhile, and then sometimes my computer decides to re-start itself and close the window, and then sometimes I can't find your profile again, and so sometimes, just because I viewed your profile and didn't message you, it doesn't mean that I wasn't interested. Sometimes.

... you don't smoke anything. Except maybe the tires on your car (bonus points).

... you don't wear more layers of make-up than there are layers of sediment in the ocean. You are far more beautiful in just your own skin, I promise you.

... you don't wear so much perfume that birds fall from trees when you walk by.

I know this sounds shallow, but I'm only physically attracted to girls who are physically healthy, as in, not overweight. You don't have to be good at sports or toned and work out, in fact I don't work out at all (though people think I do), just please be a healthy body weight.

Also, the 29-35 age range is a preference, not a mandate.

So don't delay, send a message today, and I'll pay the shipping. All messages received are guaranteed a reply, or your money back. Refunds for minutes wasted reading this profile are also available upon request.