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23 / M / Straight / Single
Hitchin, United Kingdom
- Last Online
- Online now!
- 6′ 1″ (1.85m)
- Body Type
- Mostly anything
- Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
- Working on university
- Relationship Type
- Doesn’t have kids
- Has dogs
- English (Fluently)
I turn a corner and standing huddled next to each other like a pair of scheming Marmots are two "lads" and upon hearing someone coming they say "Alright, here's one, let's get him... let's get him"
Then one of them looks at me properly, right in the eye and I stare him down. I am attempting to exert fearlessness in the hope that they will back down. Instead he just grins and turns to his crony, slams his hand down on his shoulder and says "IT'S ELLIOT THOMPSON! He's WELL funny! WELL FUNNY! OOR MATE, MATE, TELL US A JOKE! TELL US A JOKE"
I am genuinely taken aback, I have literally never seen these two "lads" before in my entire life. Until this night I have lived a "lad"-free existence. But this is a big compliment... the biggest compliment since Five Finger Death Punch mistook me for Mike Patton.
In my effort to overcome my inebriation and think of a joke, I don't point out that they're mispronouncing my name (my last name isn't and will never be "Thompson") and sadly the only "joke" that comes to mind is:
"Why is the Starship Enterprise like toilet paper?"
The reaction to that set-up? Hysterics..
"WELL FUNNY MATE, WELL FUNNY!"
And... they walk off... in hysterics...
I am left bemused and with a slight feeling of loss... On that day they didn't mug my money or my phone or my car keys... They didn't even mug my dignity.
They mugged my chance to tell a complete (but terrible) joke
As you can probably imagine, I was a little bemused by this comment and so I forgot to ask whereabouts he'd get it...
In retrospect I'm glad I forgot because I'm not sure I want to know...
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