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30 M Abingdon, MD

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 18–99
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 5:17am
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Atheism, and laughing about it
Graduated from university
More than $1,000,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"You're like the stuffed animals I used to rescue at garage sales. I mean, like...a Care Bear. Only not boring."
-psychologist, while drunk

World-wise naif. Philosopher in a barrel.

I'll eat off your spoon.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Child slaver. It's hard to quit when the kids expect to see me every day.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Teasing out the grotesque and unsettling implications of things.

Knowing what you're feeling. Yes, you. That's why I'm not judging the fuck out of you.

Living with myself.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My body language is as expressive as a person's face, if you're perceptive.

If you're more perceptive still, you'll realize I'm some kind of spy and marvel that nobody notices.

I wear a lot of black, so people want to either hug me or avoid me (the only reactions worth going for in any case).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
People's taste in music has some connection to how they move in bed. I love techno and hate metal, but both genres have that relentless pounding beat that enfolds you and grips your spine, so even if you cringe at my candy-coated synthpop and I wince at your...Creed, or whatever's pushing the frontiers of metal these days...we're likely to move the same way. I also like folk but I don't know what that means. (FYI: country and rap are said to exist on the same sort of spectrum as electronica and metal).

House is the underachieving masterpiece of modern television. Sometimes I think I just need a girl-bodied House to my boy-bodied Wilson, getting a good left brain/right brain dynamic going. It's Always Sunny is fading, but as long as they don't turn it into a Lenin-mummy like The Simpsons, I'll stick with it til the bitter fucking end. Why are most cartoons so ugly? For every Invader Zim, there's an entire cable lineup of (often well-written) cartoons with lazy or hideous art styles.

After watching Womb, I like seeing Eva Greene in mainstream movies (300 2 lul), just because I think it's funny to imagine her thinking about what she *really* wants to star in.

I read shit like Games People Play, Eros and Civilization, and The Decline of the West (the Egon Spengler book, not Pat Buchanan's), so I don't think we're going to be connecting over what we read. Maybe urban fantasy, like Let the Right One In, and Patricia Highsmith's short stories (she wrote the one about the giant snails on a deserted island), but I can't usually appreciate fiction unless I'm stoned.

I like my cookies like I like my eggs: soupy. Otherwise, I'm vaguely health conscious and even cook, but I look at food the same way I look at the economy: it might be important, but it will never be interesting.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
An inner life. I dissociate when possible.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
the fictional characters I'm in love with (one from each stage of my life, actually), but don't worry-you'll be my primary.

The way two people who are close swap personalities as the years pass.

The way we inherit irrational fears and paper them over with whatever's currently rational, like the way the medieval fear of invisible demons grew into our modern fear of invisible germs.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Playing Communist Monopoly. Snap up the gutted church.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I seduced the psychologist I quoted above. She wasn't drunk at the time, though, because I have values.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be disfigured a la the Conrad Veidt Joker because I thought it would make me cute.

I feel sympathy for inanimate objects when they're damaged or in danger. The saddest part of Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter was when the train was struggling to climb the broken railway.

I pay a lot of attention to the way words feel in my mouth and how pleasant or distressing they are to pronounce. This probably has as much to do with my being a mouth-breather as it does my oral fixation.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you think telling me your life story in long emails or over drinks in a pub/parking lot/cemetery is the best way to let me connect with you.

You're playful and get off on being your partner's favorite person in the world (none of that adversarial "chase me" shit-that's fun in bed sometimes, but I'm looking for my comrade-in-arms, not a competitor).

You'd convince me you were Lenin in a past life just for the lolz.

(I'd really, really like to share an out-of-body experience with someone, so if you know how, mentor me.)

But we don't really choose our lovers.