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38 Newport, RI Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 28–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 3:34am
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Trying to quit
Atheism, and laughing about it
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of university
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Other (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
What am I? Playful, inquisitive, quick and resilient. Stubborn and a bit too wordy. I am good at cutting to the point and terrible at small talk, but I am also that asshole who will talk religion and politics at the bar when there's an obvious reason that most folks don't. I play well in small groups, but turn into an insular fucktard at large gatherings. This is weird to me, because I'm also fine performing on stage for however many people. Not that I do that anymore, but whatever. I digress. Frequently. I like seeing where the unbeaten path leads, rarely giving due notice or even giving a solid fuck about paved avenues of more obvious success. I mentioned the stubborn thing, right? I could be talked out of it.

I like to write. I do it a fair bit, but I always wish it was more. I've never had the time to truly treat it like a job, which is rather a shame, since I believe that's what it takes to succeed. Or that could be an excuse. Or both, in whatever measure. So it goes. Either way, I've spent my life cooking stuff instead.

I love cooking stuff! It's been a worthy distraction from the first thing, don't get me wrong. But I feel like it's a distraction nonetheless, and I'll get back to the other thing. Possibly in retirement. In the meantime, I'm opening a restaurant, and I'm shooting to open in the beginning of March. It's a little bit scary, but mostly just really fucking exciting.

What else? I like going out, but I'm also pretty damned comfortable as a homebody. I'm one of those idiots who thinks the cats miss him. (It's only two kitties, which is one away from the "crazy cat person" threshold.) I like snuggling under blankets and watching movies. I make amazing snacks. I love going out to eat, being obsessed with food in general. On the other hand, I'm not going clubbing unless we're playing Whack-A-Mole. Not fucking doing it. I love going to see live music, however, and want more of that sweet shizzle in my diet. And I do like trying new things. New things are cool.

And stuff. Questions? Comments? Sarcastic remarks? Hit me up.

I respond to enthusiasm.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Mostly: savoring the chaos.

By day, I am a comestible resource alchemist, dedicated to the gentle art of transforming edible stuff into better edible stuff. By night, I tend to plod along slowly at various artistic endeavors, mostly concentrating on creative writing with a little bit of music scattered in to keep me sane. For a little while, I was trying to teach my cat how to walk like a human, but he never mastered anything beyond just standing there, so I gave up. Aside from that, I just try to stay as entertained as possible.

At the end of the rainbow, I'd like to open up a little cafe/bistro of my own. I'm in the embryonic stages of the plan, but stranger seeds have borne fruit. (Edit 12/29/2014: Fruit has been borne. Looking to open my own thing in March of 2015.)

I've also had a back-burner dream of becoming a published author. Though I've usually got some little project in progress, I wrestle constantly with the commitment of time and effort. I'm hoping to give it another go this winter when my day job quiets down, but we shall see. (Edit 12/19/2014: Not a fucking chance. See previous edit.)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
- Making a crappy first impression followed by a stellar second impression.
- Food, with concentrations in pastry, killer sauces, and most known applications involving pork fat.
- Fixing stuff, broken or otherwise.
- Wielding a red pen.
- Forgetting to bite my tongue.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a smiler. Because of this, most folks start out thinking that I'm more cheerful than I really am. This has mostly worked to my advantage, but there have been notable exceptions.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
As books go, I mostly read novels and short stories with the occasional memoir or political diatribe sprinkled in for color. Oh, and cookbooks, though I rarely cook with a recipe actually in front of me. A few favorite books: "A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius" by Dave Eggers, "Good Omens" by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, "Inside Mr. Enderby" by Anthony Burgess, "I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream" by Harlan Ellison, "The Real Frank Zappa Book" by FZ and Peter Occhiogrosso, "Still Life With Woodpecker" by Tom Robbins, "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" by Ken Kesey. Lots more. I'll stop there. I also read lots of plays, but less now since I don't really *do* plays anymore.

As movies go, I like a lot of things, ranging from cheap to classic. I like sci-fi, horror, action, adventure, comedy, westerns (particularly the classic spaghetti variety), martial arts flicks. I do like drama, but it's got to be gritty and dark. Think the opposite of Seabiscuit. If it's smart enough, it doesn't have to be dark, but it must certainly be gritty. A brief smattering of off-the-cuff essentials: Once Upon A Time In The West, Dr. Strangelove, Miller's Crossing, GoodFellas, Evil Dead 2, Rear Window, Zombieland, The Shawshank Redemption, Pulp Fiction, Fists Of Fury, Naked, Groundhog Day, The Usual Suspects, The Godfather 1 & 2 (but not so much on #3), Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Alien, The Exorcist, Rosemary's Baby, Young Frankenstein, Brazil. I'll stop there.

TV shows: *Doctor Who*. Boom. *The Twilight Zone*. Boom.
(I'm talking mostly about the original Twilight Zone, though there were some decent episodes in the modern reboots.)

And lots more. A selection of current faves: Breaking Bad, Fargo, Sherlock, Orphan Black, Penny Dreadful, House Of Cards, House Of Lies, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Louie, Misfits, The Thick Of It, Community, Star Trek (TOS and TNG, but not so much with the later shows), Farscape, Firefly, Agents Of SHIELD, 30 Rock, Masters Of Sex, Torchwood (even though Miracle Day was kind of a drag), Fargo. There's more, I'm sure.

I get 95% of my news from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. As a guilty pleasure, I'll also watch any old crap with Gordon Ramsay in it.

As music goes, there's something good being done in every genre, without any exceptions I know of. Having said that, my tastes are fairly rock heavy with a flair for the indie. I also heavily dig on "less-typical" forms of jazz and classical music. As for most other genres, I've got some select favorites, but I only dabble. I don't really dig on much popular music, basically because the radio pop-rock scene a corporate cesspool. Some favorites: Guided By Voices, Frank Zappa, Tom Waits, King Crimson, Husker Du, Arcade Fire, Modest Mouse, The Mountain Goats, Ryan Adams, John Zorn, Mr. Bungle, Spoon, The Clash, Elvis Costello, Charlie Mingus, Ornette Coleman, Bill Frisell, Sage Francis, Superchunk, Wilco, My Morning Jacket, Beck, Soundgarden, Shellac, and the incomparable Marvin Pontiac.

Spinning in my car as of 12/29:
Tom Waits: "The Black Rider"
Faith No More: "King For A Day, Fool For A Lifetime"
Wilco: "Kicking Television"
Z: "Music For Pets"
Boston Spaceships: "Zero To 99"
King Crimson: "The Great Deceiver" (disc 3 - the best one)

Food. I like food. This works out well, since I make my living from it. I eat entirely too much red meat, but I'm working on that. I also eat way too much bacon, but I'm not working on that at all. My favorites tend to be American standards, and my international sensibilities seem to usually veer towards Italian. I also dig Thai and love me some sushi.

Essentially, if you make me some pork belly, I'll love you until the end of time.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Good friends.
2. Good music.
3. Good food.
4. A decent quality santoku.
5. A bottomless arsenal of sarcasm.
6. My sonic screwdriver.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Fictional character development. Recipes. Jamming out on the guitar. Plotting my next move. Christmas Eve of 2000. Magic and loss. The human condition. Somehow making myself my own boss.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Lost in Chinatown, looking for my Wookie.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"Trying to quit" has been my smoking status since I joined this site.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
1) You've actually read my profile and have determined that we have something in common.

2) You're ready and available to start seeing someone on a casual basis, both emotionally and logistically.

3) You're not already seeing other people. I'm not interested in competing for your attention or affection.

4) You find weirdness appealing on some level.

Unless it's Tuesday. Then you should message me anyway, even if it's just a meatloaf lollipop recipe or whatever.