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53 M San Francisco, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–55
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Sep 23
Indian, Hispanic / Latin
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t want kids
Likes dogs and likes cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
(updated 1/2014)

Not all women insist upon, nor even want, "exclusivity" and "forever."
Many just want honesty and full-presence in the Now.

This is what I have learned, upon returning to the dating world, both on-line and in-life. I have been fortunate to meet a couple of charmed individuals who have taught me this lesson and/or are learning it along with me. I have made miles of progress on being fully honest (with myself as much as with my partner), and I am doing my best to improve how present I stay when I have the honor of having a playmate at my side.

In navigating OKC, I now know to steer passed those lovely souls who are posting advertisements for a soul mate. And I know to hang on passionately to she who is willing to take the long road of friendship and intimacy -- in hopes not only of discovering paths to ever-greater sharing, but as a means of cherishing what time we do spend together now.

I now know not to expect any one person to satisfy all my needs, and I know to graciously embrace those things a lover does bring my way. I know I am not the means of satisfying all wants of another and am happy to be embraced for those things I do bring.

I am just beside myself with joy, celebrating an approach to life and romance that is grounded in our Selves and not in societal expectation.

If you are looking to discern a soulmate from a few scattered and mostly inconsequential OKC questions, you might want to click onto the next profile. If, however, you are willing to be real, and to put in the real time necessary to make any human relationship work, please read on and see if we might be friends, playmates, romantic partners...and then, who knows?

(return to older profile)

Isn’t life interesting? At 51, I am in an age of self-discovery I have not experienced since I was in my early 20s. I feel fortunate to have a stability grounded in coming from what I fancy to be good, honest peasant stock. This base, I hope, gives me the platform to dive into the artistic well, the want for self-exploration, that so characterizes San Francisco.

How I behave here – dress, play, eat, interact – would never have come off so easily in my home town of Albuquerque, New Mexico. And now, over two years removed from a 13-year marriage -- to wonderful women who just was not the right match for me -- I find myself single, free to turn over rocks, look under bushes, and play with crevices in my mind that have been long left unattended. I spent the first months post-divorce immersed in self-medication of booze and pot, but in recent months I have hit my stride.

And now, I look for Friends/Activity partners/lovers who want to:
-- walk this magnificent city, whether it is the nature, the cityscapes or the opportunity to just people watch in crowded city corridors
-- take advantage of the City and Bay Area's wealth of performance art, often dirt cheap or free
-- kick a soccer ball around (always looking for players for my Sunday coed team
-- sip coffee or booze, maybe even spark up and talk literature, philosophy and just of the human condition.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Professionally, I have been fortunate to seamlessly move from the corporate world – a marketing cog in the gross, unnecessary, sector of the business world (corporate law) – to the literally touchy-feely world of massage. I am lucky enough at 3 years into this new field to have established myself as a massage instructor and have built a nice little world of chair massage gigs and private clients.

Beyond work, I spend a great deal of time playing soccer, walking San Francisco, discovering new-to-me dive bars, and playing as much as possible.

I am also rediscovering a strength and sense of self that has been softened the last dozen years by my willing capitulation to a partnership. I am a little weak in the knees at times still, but quite nearly my old self again. I left a marriage, in part, because we just did not share enough interests. I would love to discover someone who can help me more fully realize my potential, just as I might serve the same role with her.

Now is a good time for me to get to know strong individuals, people with a good sense of themselves and the character to know that a solid relationship is built slowly: no single message from an OKC sender is going save anyone. However, building a relationship with an OKC interest could blossom into a connection to last a life time.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
(OK, name that book)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Curly hair. Go on then, touch it
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: classics. Hawthorne, Balzac, Edora Welty, etc. There are excellent current writers, of course, such as Joyce Carrol Oates , but you can keep the whole detective genre (not that there is anything wrong with romance and detective novels, but there are just so many classics yet to be read).

Music: Nick Lowe, Aimee Mann, Lyle Lovett, Gillian Welch are among my favorites. Going to Hardly Strictly Bluegrass is one to the hightlights of my year, as is the Annual Burning Man Decompression Party in Bay View/Hunters Point.

Movies: Cannot beat almost anything Peter O'Toole in it. I also like Woody Allen and old Bogart films.

So far as food goes, well, I really enjoy a variety. I try to keep the unhealthy stuff to a minimum, but you cannot eat at Ananda Faura every night. so a nice rack of ribs can delightfully break up the monotony.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
family, friends, home-cooked Mexican food, pointless play, soccer, green bud.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I feel touch is such an important and neglected part of what it means to be human. We communicate through touch. We comfort. We celebrate. We console.

For many, touch is limited to sex or violence and that just is not right. We need to find our primate selves and litterally embrace each other anew.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At happy hour, playing darts, walking down a street in my neighborhood seeing things that I never noticed before.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
lots. but in one-to-one conversations
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over. want to:

take a stroll up some scenic hill
play guitar in the park
trade massages
have company while you walk your dog
go to Ecstatic Dance
create art
hold hands some point, sit around naked and smoke a joint