Not all women insist upon, nor even want, "exclusivity" and "forever."
Many just want honesty and full-presence in the Now.
This is what I have learned, upon returning to the dating world, both on-line and in-life. I have been fortunate to meet a couple of charmed individuals who have taught me this lesson and/or are learning it along with me. I have made miles of progress on being fully honest (with myself as much as with my partner), and I am doing my best to improve how present I stay when I have the honor of having a playmate at my side.
In navigating OKC, I now know to steer passed those lovely souls who are posting advertisements for a soul mate. And I know to hang on passionately to she who is willing to take the long road of friendship and intimacy -- in hopes not only of discovering paths to ever-greater sharing, but as a means of cherishing what time we do spend together now.
I now know not to expect any one person to satisfy all my needs, and I know to graciously embrace those things a lover does bring my way. I know I am not the means of satisfying all wants of another and am happy to be embraced for those things I do bring.
And while I've only met one woman of this nature thus far on OKC, she is the light by which I can see a better way (for me) forward. If that relationship were to develop into something more, I would be thrilled. In the mean time, I am just beside myself with joy, celebrating an approach to life and romance that is grounded in our Selves and not in societal expectation.
If you are looking to discern a soulmate from a few scattered and mostly inconsequential OKC questions, you might want to click onto the next profile. If, however, you are willing to be real, and to put in the real time necessary to make any human relationship work, please read on and see if we might be friends, playmates, romantic partners...and then, who knows?
(return to older profile)
Isn’t life interesting? At 51, I am in an age of self-discovery I have not experienced since I was in my early 20s. I feel fortunate to have a stability grounded in coming from what I fancy to be good, honest peasant stock. This base, I hope, gives me the platform to dive into the artistic well, the want for self-exploration, that so characterizes San Francisco.
How I behave here – dress, play, eat, interact – would never have come off so easily in my home town of Albuquerque, New Mexico. And now, over two years removed from a 13-year marriage -- to wonderful women who just was not the right match for me -- I find myself single, free to turn over rocks, look under bushes, and play with crevices in my mind that have been long left unattended. I spent the first months post-divorce immersed in self-medication of booze and pot, but in recent months I have hit my stride.
And now, I look for Friends/Activity partners/lovers who want to:
-- walk this magnificent city, whether it is the nature, the cityscapes or the opportunity to just people watch in crowded city corridors
-- take advantage of the City and Bay Area's wealth of performance art, often dirt cheap or free
-- kick a soccer ball around (always looking for players for my Sunday coed team
-- sip coffee or booze, maybe even spark up and talk literature, philosophy and just of the human condition.