Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

King_of_the_Rain

38 Kenmore, WA Man

Man

Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24–36
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Apr 2
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from high school
Job
Other
Income
$50,000–$60,000
Status
Single
Offspring
Doesn’t want kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Some of you women have some serious writing skills, which is putting the pressure on me to sound somewhat entertaining.

The first thing I think of while trying to kiss my own ass here, is that I'm not a douchebag. Many of you have made it perfectly clear in your profiles that you are decidedly anti-douchebag. I'm not self-centered and don't believe I'm entitled to anything because my mommy told me I was wonderful my whole life. I'm extremely loyal and reliable. If I tell you that I'll do something, it gets done. No excuses. I won't do stupid things behind your back. I have my own opinions, but I always look at things from my partner's point of view as well, and have no problem compromising. In fact, when it comes down to it, I'd rather see you happy than get my way, if those are the only possible outcomes. Sometimes I fall in love too easily, and am definitely a relationship guy.

I consider myself very intelligent, extremely sarcastic, and almost completely honest (Dr. House anyone?) If you ask my opinion, I'll give it to you. Don't ask if you don't want to know the answer! I'm also overly polite to anyone that might be handling my food, changing the oil in my car, cutting my hair, etc. Mostly because they're doing something that I appreciate not having to do myself, but partly because I don't want them "accidentally" dropping my food on the floor and putting it back on my plate, or "forgetting" to tighten the oil filter.

I think anything can be joked about, provided the joke is funny. If you're joking about rape, and the joke sucks, then it's not only unfunny, but then becomes offensive, AND you look like an asshole. I grew up on the likes of George Carlin, Sam Kinison, Andrew Dice Clay, and Eddie Murphy (before he considered himself royalty and started making embarrassing kids movies and speaking with a British accent), and these days it's Joe Rogan, Doug Stanhope, Sarah Silverman, Jason Ellis, and Howard Stern that I enjoy. I definitely consider myself to have a quick wit, if sometimes dark and/or perverted. I can take a joke with the best of 'em, and laugh a LOT. I've also been known to play a practical joke or twelve.

I don't smoke, have never done ANY drugs, and very rarely drink. Even when I do, it has to be something that tastes good, and it's only one or two. I don't think I really have any bad vices. Unless you count occasional sports gambling, or watching porn from time to time. Drama free is the best way to describe myself.

Having always lived in the Seattle area, I love the cold weather. As a kid, I used to run around barefoot in the snow, and play basketball in the rain...and not much has changed. During the last big thunder/rain storm, I was down at the High School track running ten miles, and couldn't have had more fun doing it. In addition, I sleep with my bedroom window open (and more often than not, a fan aimed at me) pretty much every night of the year. As a self-respecting Seattleite, I will not walk with you if you're using an umbrella!

When I'm not working, I greatly appreciate my free time. I'm not interested in being on the go every second of the day though. I do need my chill-in-front-of-the-tv time. That's not to say that that's ALL I want to do... Some of my hobbies include running/jogging, jetskiing (my new goal in life is to own a couple - there's not many things in life that are more fun that flying around a lake at 70 mph), and watching/playing football, baseball, or basketball. I'll even get on a tennis court from time to time. I've had horrible luck with camping in the past (bad sunburns, bug/insect attacks, and attempted tent-raiding hooligans), but I enjoy the thought of it and would be more than happy to go with you. Also, as far as I'm concerned, s'mores are the greatest food creation of all time. (Yes, I AM that easy to please). I'm also up for hiking and other stuff like that.

Because you probably didn't expect a novel when you clicked on my page, I'll cut this short and give you a list of random information. Whatever I can come up with in the next two minutes...

1.I love making lists, clearly. (Especially ipod playlists)
2.Almost all of the clothing I own is either black, gray, white, or dark blue, and a good percentage of it is sports related, including a number of jerseys. I'm okay with buying more "grown-up" clothes if you want to go shopping and help me pick stuff out, but I very rarely can be bothered to do it on my own :)
3.Weinhard's Root Beer. Delicious.
4.I do own a Hot Dog Toaster, and consider it to be a brilliant invention! No apologies!
5.I'm dying to own a home (I currently own a townhouse), so that I can have a yard and a dog. Sometimes just laying in the grass looking up at the sky and listening to the ballgame on the radio is as close to perfect as it gets.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round...

I'm busy planning a thirty-five day road trip that my brother and I are taking that will will go through every U.S. state (other than Alaska and Hawaii obviously). If you know of any must-see destinations, I'd love to hear your suggestions. It's mostly a sports-related trip, but not exclusively so

Also, I'm currently recovering from the worst sunburn I've ever had. Seven hours jetskiing on Lake Washington for the 4th of July was great. Forgetting the sunscreen was considerably less great. My skin's peeled off about five times already. Don't be fooled, the sun is not your friend! :)

UPDATE - 2012: The greatest Road Trip of all time has come and gone. It was every bit as fantastic as I hoped it could be, though the best day of the trip was also the worst day of the trip. Who'd have thought that was possible? Woke up in Chicago on a Friday with a horrible migraine, drove to St. Louis and saw my Cardinals come from behind and win in the 9th inning that night, and then hopped back in the car and drove through the night to Baton Rouge, LA for a LSU football game Saturday evening. Even with blurry vision and what felt like an ice pick jammed through the center of my brain, it was still a hell of a 36 hour stretch.

It's also nice to accomplish something that everyone tells you is crazy to even attempt. 13,500 miles, 35 days, 11 sporting events, and my first visit to the Atlantic Ocean.

UPDATE 2 - 1/2013: I'm now trying to start working my way back into decent shape. After a couple years of random injuries ( broken big toe, then a back injury and subsequent re-aggravation of back injury, followed by a rib injury diving for a baseball), I'm a little sickened that I let myself get out of shape. I just spent $1800 on a treadmill (I've ran two others into the ground previously, so I'm splurging on an expensive one this time.), as I'm finally 100% healthy again. My goal is to run in a Spartan Race this summer, and then in the Seattle Marathon in November. If you need to be with someone in great shape rather than a work in progress, give me a shout after this summer. I won't hold it against you.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making lists (as you will find out very shortly) | Sporcle, Trivial Pursuit, and any other trivia related games | spelling | sports gambling | PS3 Madden Football | adding to my dvd/blu ray collections | listening | using common sense | driving
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I guess that I'm sort of tall, wear a hat, and am usually smiling... I don't know, I haven't taken a poll. What kind of question is this?
What number am I thinking of?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'm gonna include some additional lists too, just because I'm in the mood. Some people are just gangster like that...

-------------------------MOVIES -------------------------
A Clockwork Orange | Garden State |True Romance | The Big Lebowski | Clerks | The Breakfast Club | Fight Club | Braveheart | Training Day | Godfather 1 & 2 | Juno | 300 | Good Will Hunting | The Last Samurai | The Other Guys | Role Models | The Crow | Boyz N The Hood | The Illusionist | Heat | Sideways | Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist | (500) Days of Summer | The Departed | Goodfellas | Kick-Ass | Tropic Thunder | V for Vendetta | Gangs of New York | Inception | Pulp Fiction | Moonrise Kingdom | Scott Pilgrim vs The World

-------------------------TV SHOWS-------------------------
Walking Dead | An Idiot Abroad | It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia | Arrested Development | Curb Your Enthusiasm | Scrubs | House | Breaking Bad | The IT Crowd | Mad Men | Alias | Weeds | Freaks & Geeks | South Park | Seinfeld | Rescue Me | The Office | Game of Thrones | The Twilight Zone | Deadwood | Eastbound and Down

-------------------------BOOKS-------------------------
A Confederacy of Dunces | Crime and Punishment | The Lovely Bones | Water for Elephants | Great Expectations | The Kite Runner | Catch-22 | The Road | Anything and everything by Stephen King, John Grisham, or Tom Clancy | Sports and comedy autobiographies (Steve Martin, Bo Jackson, Forrest Griffin, Joe Namath, George Carlin, etc)

Please recommend a good book! I have the hardest time finding things to read...

-------------------------MUSIC-------------------------
Counting Crows | Missy Higgins | Foo Fighters | Alanis Morissette | Billy Joel | Bob Dylan | Sheryl Crow | Van Morrison | Fiona Apple | The Avett Brothers | Dave Matthews Band | Everclear | Ice Cube | Eazy E | NWA | Beatles | Neil Young | Matchbox Twenty | Pearl Jam | Nirvana | CCR | Ryan Adams | Live | Mumford & Sons | Lumineers | Die Antwoord |

I have a bunch of complete randomness on my ipod also, but those are my favorites. Most people would be surprised that I even have some classical music. I'm open to anything other than country and opera.

-------------------------FOOD------------------------
Mexican | American | Italian. The end.

Yes, I'm a picky eater. To be more specific my favorite foods would include Swedish pancakes, sausage-pepperoni-Canadian bacon pizza, chicken fajitas, Swedish meatballs, burgers/fries/shake combo, chicken alfredo, Chocolate Mousse ice cream, and although I'm not a fan of Chinese food in general, I do like almond fried chicken, barbecue pork, and general Tso's chicken.

I'm really just not into eating weird shit! I know what I like and I stick to it. I can look at something and tell you whether I'll like it or not. (I probably won't) As much as I love meat, I feel like someday I'll have to stop eating it, because I always feel guilty afterwards. I'm already pretty much unable to eat fried chicken because I feel like a buzzard picking at the bones.

--------------------Favorite actors/actresses-------------------------
Edward Norton | John Cusack | Natalie Portman | Paul Giamatti | Woody Harrelson | Amanda Peet | Neve Campbell | Jennifer Garner | Leonardo DiCaprio | Morgan Freeman | Olivia Wilde | Ellen Page | Jason Bateman | Paul Rudd | Gene Hackman | Anna Kendrick | Kristen Wiig | Minnie Driver | Bruce Willis | John Malkovich | Eva Mendes | Samuel L. Jackson | Robert DeNiro | Karl Pilkington | Zach Braff | Rashida Jones

--------------------Favorite Sports Teams--------------------
Oakland Raiders | Seattle Mariners | UW Football | UW Basketball | LSU Football | U of Michigan Football | Virginia Tech Football | St Louis Cardinals | Philadelphia Eagles |

--------------------Favorite TV / Movie Characters--------------------
Dr. Greg House (Hugh Laurie), House M.D.
Alex DeLarge (Malcolm McDowell), A Clockwork Orange
Sam (Natalie Portman), Garden State
Juno MacGuff (Ellen Page), Juno
Jeffrey Lebowski (Jeff Bridges), The Big Lebowski
Rob Gordon (John Cusack), High Fidelity
Al Swearengen (Ian McShane), Deadwood
Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Bill Cutting (Daniel Day Lewis), Gangs of New York
William Wallace (Mel Gibson), Braveheart
Walter Sobchak (John Goodman), The Big Lebowski
King Leonidas (Gerard Butler), 300
Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt), Fight Club
Luke (Paul Newman), Cool Hand Luke
Dr. John Dorian (Zach Braff), Scrubs
Dr. Perry Cox (John C. McGinley), Scrubs
John McClane (Bruce Willis), Die Hard 1-5
Clyde Shelton (Gerard Butler), Law Abiding Citizen
Skylar (Minnie Driver), Good Will Hunting
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1.Ice cold bottled water
2.Air conditioning
3.iPhone
4.Laptop w/ internet connection
5.Sports/Music/Movies/Books ... entertainment?
6.A car
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
EVERYTHING. I over analyze this shit out of things! I have trouble getting to sleep at night because my mind never switches off. I usually force myself to stay awake as long as possible so that I'm exhausted by the time I crawl in to bed and can fall asleep quickly.

Whether there's a cool chick that's kinkier than I am, and if so, how fast I can marry her! ;)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
creating an OKCupid profile, apparently...

Typical guy stuff - watching movies, listening to music, jogging at the track, reading, watching sports, playing video/board games, going out to dinner or a Mariners game...

FYI I don't dance or hang out at clubs...like, not at all. I don't mind if you do, just don't expect me to come :)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
is that I cry like a baby at the end of Forrest Gump, when Jenny dies. "You died on a Saturday..." gets me every time.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...you're a smartass, somewhat brainy, not uptight or mentally unbalanced, and open-minded.

...you agree that 'ol Tosh.O needs an old school ass kicking to permanently wipe that stupid smirk off of his face.

...you believe in the saying "It's who you're with, and not what you're doing, that makes a day memorable."

You like sarcastic, kinky, mildly perverted,very open minded, and incredibly sweet guys...

--------YOU SHOULDN'T MESSAGE ME IF--------

....you can't spell, and/or you don't use some sort of punctuation. It doesn't have to be perfect, just make an effort. I'm not trying to be a dick, I'd just like to know that you made it through third grade before you tuned out all of the "fancy book learnin' ". I don't think I'm asking too much.