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30 New York, NY Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 7:49am
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Space camp
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
This is not your typical headless profile. It's anonymous because it makes it much easier to be open and direct about my preferences. I am actually particularly interested in substantial, serious relationships; it's just that this makes it easier to sort out some compatibility factors I find essential or at least very desirable.

Feminist, intellectual, lawful good, submissive, polyamorous, nerd, arguably queer, privileged, sometimes switchy, excessively educated professional, user of labels but not defined by them.

I'm not looking for a one night stand, though I am open to finding play partners. I am looking for one nightstand, as my bed needs a second one, but that really isn't relevant at all here.

On those compatibility factors - I'm kinky and non-monogamous. The first is important but not essential; the second is non-negotiable, though I am not necessarily wedded to a particular style of poly. I do not have a primary partner. I am open to the idea of one, though I have historically been bad at relationships with people who *need* a specific level of commitment off the bat; I prefer relationships that develop organically to a comfortable level for all parties.

As far as kink, hypermasculine presentation notwithstanding, I am primarily submissive, though I do switch. See my message me if section for greater detail on what I'd like to find. Outside the bedroom, I prefer a relationship with a fairly equal power balance.

I'm tall, handsome, sophisticated, funny, a bit nerdy, and surprisingly good on paper, for what self-serving statements on a faceless profile are worth. I'm arguably queer but don't feel entirely comfortable claiming that identity due to a surfeit of privilege. Whether that's a good or bad thing overall is a question to which I'm not sure of the answer.

If you're interested, please send me a message or IM me - I don't really approach women with this profile. I'm sure y'all have enough unwanted attention to deal with as is. I prefer to date or play mostly with people who have a clear sense of what they want. But if you're new or just curious, feel encouraged to message me; I've helped a number of people navigate their way into kink successfully, and am involved in the ethically nonmonogamy and kink communities here in New York.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Exploring. I feel there are so many more places to go, things to do, and things to have done to me. Also, working a lot, and cooking all the things.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The fact that I have no head. That photo isn't cropped.

Seriously, probably my size. I'm a big guy with a fairly commanding presence, so that's probably what people notice first.

I am told that I - and this profile - present as somewhat hypermasculine. That's not entirely false, but it is a very long way from a complete picture of me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
[This has been redacted to prevent comparison with any other profiles I may or may not have. I tend to enjoy fiction with richly developed and believable characters. My taste runs to sci-fi/fantasy; I'm a nerd but not on the hardcore end of the spectrum. Curiously, I've found I tend to get along well with people who appreciate the Venture Brothers.]

I'll leave it with this quote:

"When I was 5, my teacher asked me what I wanted to do in life. I said, 'Be happy.' My teacher told me I didn't understand the question; I told her she didn't understand life."
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. The interweb?
2. My Kindle
3. Subspace
4. Smart phone.
5. Gym membership
6. Friends, family, and the like.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why I will get no interesting messages in weeks, then get five in two days. I guess it's a good problem to have.

The use of the "seeing someone" status. If you're in a closed monogamous relationship, why are you on a dating site? If you're actually looking for new partners, why not use "available?" If someone would care to explain this to me, I'd like to understand it better. I won't even ask why you're checking out headless torso profiles despite the fact that you're "seeing someone."

If it is possible / how to build a relationship(s) with a strong D/s dynamic that is compatible with polyamory and which I can be comfortable in.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I only do it missionary. With the lights off. Through a hole in the sheet.

Someone messaged me on this profile and told me it had inspired her to be more proactive in seeking out what she really wanted. That made my day.

A friend of mine said, "When I first saw your profile, I figured you were headless because you didn't have a pretty face." So, at her suggestion, I am clarifying that I do indeed have a pretty face. I'd just rather coworkers or acquaintances of mine not associate that face with this profile.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Edit - 6/2015 - time to be highly specific. Before that, though, if you're interested and think we might be compatible as people - not just sexually - please feel encouraged to message me, even if you don't fit precisely with the rest of this section, or if you're into kink but inexperienced. I've had fulfilling relationships and deep friendships develop with people who definitely don't meet my ideal kink criteria, and I wouldn't want to discourage such potential. My own estimation of ideal may not turn out to describe what relationships will work well in reality.

That said, I am principally interested in meeting a female-identified person who is naturally dominant, with a fairly affectionate style and zero to moderate sadism, who is bi, pansexual, or queer and is interested in or open to group play of various forms, for a serious long-term relationship. It's more important to me that a domme has a strong desire to be in control and to recieve pleasure than it is she be experienced with the technical aspects of kink. I am open to(and potentially very interested in) a relationship that extends D/s outside the bedroom, provided that such power is exercised mutually beneficially and not in a strictly selfish manner. Switchiness could work, though I prefer taking an exclusively submissive role (which may still involve me being forceful or aggressive, but not overall in control). I definitely don't require someone to meet all these criteria, or to be willing to commit to meeting any of them up front.

I'm also very open to a submissive who is very eager, able to articulate her interests, and is also open to group play. Interest, adventurousness, and communication are more important than experience. I cannot get into a dominant role without a very clear understanding of what someone likes or wants to try; I enjoy dominance significantly because I enjoy providing and controlling pleasure. Switchiness is a definite positive.

Physical attraction is fairly important to me, but I do not have a type. I've been attracted to women half my size and to women who are larger than me. That said, I'm much more likely to message you if you have pics that spark attraction in me, which generally means full body pics. This is much less relevant if it is clear you have compatible kink interests.

Also potentially open to couples, but strictly straight men usually add zero value for me.

Non-straight men: be dominant, friendly, extremely articulate, and ideally paired with a dominant woman. I'd be curious to explore, but I'm only rarely attracted to men and would need someone who wanted to dominate me and could also show respect and a bit of patience.

I'm quite open to talking about kink and polyamory with the generally curious. Even if we're not specifically compatible I also enjoy making friends and introducing people to kink.

For what it's worth, being pretty aggressive is much more likely to succeed than not doing so.
I am not turned off by explicit messages or personal questions up front, as long as they are included within complete, grammatical sentences with proper spelling. Though if you're a domme who is primarily into belittling submissives or mostly wants non-sexual service, we are not a match. I am entirely open to dating professional dommes, but have zero interest in hiring them - my submission is principally about pleasing someone, so if it's not wanted for its own sake, I have no interest in giving it.