UPDATE 10/28/12: I am not currently seeking to meet anyone as I have been seeing someone and we have decided to only see each other (within the guidelines of my polyamorous relationship with my husband/primary partner).
The following was applicable when I was actively dating; however, I am no longer looking.
I'm in a happy and fulfilling open marriage (polyamorous) with Foods4thought on this site. We've had an open marriage for +30 years and both of us had ongoing polyamourous 1:1 relationships with one other partner (each) for the last several years. Those relationships changed due to relocation, job changes/schedules, etc. Due to this, we both decided to seek different 1:1 relationships that allowed for more frequent dating opportunities and development of non-vanilla friendships. Hubby definitely met anyone I went out with (beyond an initial meet in public) so you could be assured that I wasn't doing anything he wasn't aware of. Meeting you was not for the purpose of challenging you to duel, arm wrestling or to intimidate. It was so he knew who was wisking his love off and to have at least some sense that I would be safe when with you. No quizzes or test you had to pass, lol, before driving away with me. It was a matter of respect.
I'm not a cheater nor am I promiscuous (can still name those I've had a sexual relationship with and still have enough fingers and toes to count them on, lol.) Although I consider myself to be polyamorous, I was not necessarily looking for a live-in lover, though if that direction seemed a very good fit, we were open to exploring that option. I wanted to date others with the clear understanding that it was not likely to take the traditional dating path of romantic commitment, engagement, moving in, etc. though I expected a commitment to good, clear, honest and respectful interaction as I would with any friend of mine. I didn't wish to fall in love with anyone else but I didn't fear becoming close to someone and loving them as a person. The love I share with my husband is unique, special, whole, sacred. It is not replaceable in the least nor have I loosened my boundaries in any way by, what some would say, 'tempting fate.' Those who are not firm in their beliefs and clear in their boundaries are the ones who often fall prey to emotions they didn't expect. It's why we've been happy and in a successful open marriage for so long.
Therein lies one of the unique things about my husband and me. I'm very open in my discussions with him about what ifs. We have learned that it is a great deal of work to truly face issues head on with respect, depth, directness and honesty. It isn't easy but, damn, he and I have MAD commitment to communication with each other. If things need to be spoken about, they are dealt with then and there, with kindness, empathy and truth. I need to have that kind of directness in anyone I'm involved with. I have to feel it's in it's infancy, so to speak, with a new 'friend' or that there's a very very strong likelihood that it has the possibility of growing to that level of trust and respect. I was also not looking for a one and done, a quick hookup, multiple partners, or simply a fuck buddy or to become your next booty call. I just wanted to date, develop a friendship and see if there was enough of a connection for a possible sexual relationship as well. If an emotional relationship developed, I was open to that as well.
"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own... Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy." ~ Robert Heinlein
I realize this is not a typical arrangement and I welcome questions one might have about our open marriage or our polyamory. That being said, I'm easy going, attractive, intelligent, creative, energetic, direct, and I dislike drama and dishonesty. I was looking for a LOCAL guy who had an outgoing, confident personality and was POSITIVE-MINDED, DRAMA FREE, MENTALLY STABLE, intelligent, and wanted to and was capable of sharing their own desires. If you're the jealous type, recently divorced and not over it, not capable of emotional depth or think that just because I'm in an open relationship that I probably just want to fuck as many men as I can, you might want to skip my profile as that's not at all who I am or what I was looking for. ~~~I'm no longer looking to date anyone so please don't bother to contact me if that's what you're here for or if your pattern is to try to mislead women and bend the truth. It's very transparent and not worth my time. Sigh. Additionally, if you have no pics posted of yourself or are not local, I will not be inclined to reply to your messages. Actually, now that I'm not looking, I have no reason to actually respond to you at all. As I said earlier, I'm here as a moderator, for fun.
I love to laugh and treasure the positives in life. I'm independent, emotionally mature and have a strong personality and I know what I want and don't want. I am far from naive and am confident as well as intelligent and will not waste my time on that which depletes my cup. If a casual hook-up is the only thing you're looking for, we're NOT a match. For me, intimacy and friendship go hand-in-hand. I was looking for a real relationship with depth and connectedness.
I'm over 6 feet tall in heels, I'm a size 12 not a size 2 so if you like skinny lil things, that's not me. I prefer looking men in the eye so over 5'9" was preferable but I'm not so shallow that I would have run screaming from the room if you were under 5'9". If you have cats, I'll never get near you AND I will probably run screaming from the room. I have a very nasty allergy to the little bastards. I'm well-educated but not one who needs to prove anything intellectually. If we met and you found you were not attracted to me, I expected that you were direct enough to say you were not interested. I'm a grown woman and will not curl into a ball and cry if I'm not your type, lol. I didn't want to waste your time OR MINE. I don't have a 'type' of guy I prefer as far as his physical appearance. I was more interested in personality, relationship preferences, sexual compatibility and if we found common ground and interests.