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36 Los Angeles, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 29-43
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 12:04am
Relationship Type
6' 2" (1.88m)
Body Type
Average build
Catholicism and laughing about it
Doesn’t have kids
English (Fluently), French (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Let's see... A little about me. I work too much, and relax not enough. I like to read classic literature to better myself, and watch classic films to feel hip and urbane. I like to think I have good taste in music, and when I karaoke I feel compelled to warn people I'm tone deaf. I don't wear my glasses anymore unless I'm being lazy. I was engaged once, so I'm mostly domesticated. Mostly. I think I'm really funny, and always laugh at my own jokes. Is that so wrong?

My name is Joseph (you can call me Joe), and I'm a 36 year old living in a seemingly cool, but harsh section of Los Angeles, California.

If you have anymore questions of me, please, feel free to ask. I am generally a pretty open individual. This sounds really trite, eh?

I am tall, blond, and sardonic
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I ask myself daily, sometimes twice daily.

I'll list out all the jobs I've ever wanted (at least since 3rd grade)-

Fire Fighter, Police officer, Submarine Captain, Comedian, FBI Agent, International Super Spy, CIA Agent, Film Critic, Film Director, Funeral Director, Cinematographer, Writer (Script/Screen)... Honestly I'm starting to lean back toward funeral director.

I guess I'll just work on my cult of personality.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm not so sure anymore. I think most of my skills have withered over time.

Helping people move. Making beans. Chasing children while pretending to be a robot. Flirting with lesbians, unknowingly. Dancing like a white man. Finding Speed Traps. Burning vacation time. Hitting my head, because of my height. Looking more important than I am. Acting inappropiate in the workplace. Not reflecting corporate values. Attempted take-overs of small political parties. Kazooing. Dating without getting anywhere. Falling out of an airplane without hurting myself. Being out of step in relationships.

Also, I am The Master of Hamhanded Subtlety.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Damn... How do you spell oafish? Please be aware I don't always look as dopey as I do in my photo. I usually look much, much worse. Heh. Honestly, when clean shaven I look like I'm twelve.

Recently told by a young lady that her first impression of me was some sort of clerk. Lady, let me tell you, I keep no records.

Was just told this profile isn't as witty & funny as I am, just kinda sad. Hey! I'm flipping hilarious, but I just really wanna be loved for what's on the outside. - Wait, I may have that backward.

Also as a couple 'runner ups' for my three words: Credulous, and Dopey.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
(a) The Diamond Age or, A Young Lady's Illustrated Primer by Neal Stephenson.

I also enjoy British Literature, James Jones novels, Heinlein's sci-fi, Ayn Rand's fiction, and H.P. Lovecraft.

(b) The Killing (1956) by Stanley Kubrick.

I also enjoy classic film, cult film, spagetti westerns, and directors like Ed Wood, Kevin Smith, and Orson Welles. I finally purchased a copy of my favorite Welles, The Magnificent Ambersons. It's fatalistic and beautiful. (Like I like my women)

(c) Summer Wind by Frank Sinatra.

I also enjoy listening to jazz, blues, and lounge music. Classic rock also has a large-ish place in my heart. I don't really get modern rock, but I am trying. I'm kind of an old man in a sexy young man's body.

- If I claim to be a fan of Radiohead, I am lying. I only own five of their eight studio albums, which is not good enough for a true fan.

(d) I don't know, something with its picture on the menu at Shari's? (NW 24hr Piehouse) As long as I have a cup of coffee I'm pretty good. I also enjoy cheese. I enjoy toast. So simple, so complex. You know you feel the same way.

I am an omnivore, but willing to switch diets for the right person. If you are a baconavore, this could be unhealthy in the long run.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Nothing really. I'm a survivor, though I would be nearly blind without my contacts or glasses. I guess I would say shoes. Your mobility is limited without shoes.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What I'm doing with my life, and what I'm good at...

According to the Fortune-Telling Birthday Book, in reference to my birthday, June 10th.

I am ambitious and venturesome and apt to rush into things. I am led with better results than if I were driven. I am conscientious and sincere in everything. I am capable of a strong and lasting love.

What a bunch of hogwash.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drinking my way to liver problems in later life, or working late and wishing I was drinking.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I moved to Los Angeles from Portland in October. All these city names mean nothing to me. I drove an hour for a lame date in Westminister. Yeah.

I'm tired of looking for my first ex-wife. I'm searching for my best ex-girlfriend now.

Also, I'm on OKCupid because it's free, and I'm cheap and easy.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
And that's a big IF, you feel like it.

What I'm looking for is a classy lady, who is both smart and funny. Quick witted and feisty, is good as well. It would also help if she had a high tolerance for idiots. I have big feet, and am often found with my foot in my mouth. Just to forewarn.

Also I'm looking for tall. I'm tall, we can be tall together. Tall isn't a deal breaker, I just know how ridiculous I would be standing next to a lady 4'11". You know?

I hope this honesty doesn't scare anyone off. Independent minded only need apply. Please bring your own opinions, lunch will be provided for applicants.

This is a serious offer. I will buy you lunch + drinks/beer. Let's live life already!