I am almost certain that you cannot handle me or keep up.
There's a good chance that something about you will give rise to the desire of punching you in the face. It's a pretty normal feeling, and I've almost got it completely figured out- I think. I'm housebroken.
Reasons you'll need to buy a map (because I will insist you get lost):
If you wear superhero symbols or memorabilia but have never picked up a comic book. Seriously, watching the movies (n) times doesn't count. If you had ever read a graphic novel, you'd know why.
Shirtless guy pics tacky? So are mirror selfies, car selfies, tits hanging out all over the place, top down photos to hide that you're fat, perfect angle pics that make you look way more attractive than you are, duckface pics, gang signs, and while skydiving pics aren't-they are played out.
If you're overweight and your body type says "average." You can argue all day about national averages. Still not the average body type worldwide.
If you have somewhere in your profile that you aren't looking for a one night stand... Yeah, got that when it doesn't say anything about casual sex near the bottom. If you're too stupid to realize that people who don't read your profile don't read it, you probably think the best thing for our crime rates is to get rid of guns.
If Trek >/= Star Wars and/or cod>Halo/Battlefield get bent and die in a slow and painful manner.
If you have one or more photos captioned by your iPhone or your Android. Or if you have an iPhone.
You commonly feel lost in intelligent discussions, but you still swear you know everything.
If Pluto isn't a planet to you.
If you're on some sort of medication (excluding birth control) or drugs. Yeah, Zoloft counts too. Why? If you need a coping mechanism because life sucks, or you're a danger to yourself and others without a pill, you're a timebomb.
If you think for some reason that "dislikes cats" means that I'm going to kill your precious cat(s). It means that I'm not going to buy or adopt one.
If my honesty has upset you. You probably have something about wanting someone honest in your profile. You don't want that. I'm honest. You know what that makes me? An asshole. When someone's fat and you say they're fat, their response is never "Wow, you're really honest. I like you." And don't try to post-predicate the statement with anything. Honest is honest.