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...Sorry.

I hate writing these things. How the hell are you meant to describe yourself without sounding like either the world's most self-obsessed asshole or some kind of mumbling, neurotic cretin? I'm sure there must be a specific level of hell where the damned are forced to fill these things in for all eternity.

I guess I'm fairly reserved most of the time. I'm defitely a bit eccentric, and I'm not ashamed to say it. I have to say I'm not particularly into clubbing. If it's your thing, then great, but I just can't see the appeal of flailing around like some kind of epileptic otter in a crowded, noisy room serving vastly overpriced beer. I'm much more of a pub guy, to be honest. I'd much prefer a nice, funny, witty conversation with my friends over a few pints to a night of wild gyrating.

I have a pretty dry sense of humour which tends to either have people convulsed on the floor in fits of laughter or looking at me as if I require psychiatric help. I guess it depends on your sense of humour. My favourite comedy shows are South Park, The Simpsons, Fawlty Towers, Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm, so that should give you a pretty good indication of mine :)

What I do for fun... All sorts, really. I'm a bit of a loner, I suppose -- don't misunderstand me, I do love going out for a drink and a laugh with my mates, but I'm equally happy with a good book or my Nintendo Wii and a couple of beers. I'm definitely slightly geeky, and I spend more time than I probably should on the internet reading about computer games and whatnot. I'm also quite creative and love writing, coming up with ideas for things, etc.

Oh, and I adore animals, especially cats. I have one cat named Socks, and I love him to death, so don't even bother reading any further if you're not a cat person :)

As for who I'm looking for, I'd definitely like someone who is lively and fun to be with, but is also capable of holding a reasonably intelligent conversation. When I say that, I don't mean that I want to have an intense three-hour debate about the fluctuating price of rice in Botswana or anything, but some kind of vaguely meaningful dialogue would be nice. The sexiest organ in the human body is the brain, so don't be afraid to use it!

I guess I should stop typing now, before I alienate any more people than I already have, which would be unforunate.

Working in a classic car showroom, and spending most of my free time either:

a) Surfing the internet,

b) Playing computer games,

c) Drinking, or

d) Some combination of the above.

Golf, strangling animals and masturbating.

(Thanks, Monty Python!)

(And yes, that is a Monty Python quote. Don't worry - I'm not genuinely twisted enough to admit to playing golf.)

Other than that... Drinking, sleeping, procrastinating, dreaming, pondering and urinating, though not all at once.

My cat, my computer, my games consoles, Marmite, Indian food and alcohol. Oh, and my friends, but that's pretty much a given, right?

Oh yeah, and my iPhone. And the internet. And bacon.

Damn, I've gone over six, haven't I?

The meaning of life, the size of the universe, life on other planets, what it would be like to have Alzheimer's, predetermination, science vs religion, human nature, world financial markets, how they get the stripes into the toothpaste, why I keep losing socks, Apple vs Microsoft, what it would be like to have Alzheimer's, the next Half-Life game, who invented the letter "K", why people are so obsessed with idiotic celebrities, the end of the world, genetic engineering, science, what I want for lunch, what it would be like to have Alzheimer's.

Most likely sitting at my computer, wondering what to have for dinner and which DVD I should watch while I'm eating. Occasionally I'll go out to a pub, either with some friends or just by myself with a good book. People think I'm odd for doing that, but I don't care :)

Er, I'm wearing blue boxer shorts. And they're very comfortable indeed.

You're still reading this after wading through all that nonsense.

You're one of the tiny percentage of female users who actually make the first move and send people messages on here, rather than waiting for Mr Perfect to fall into their lap.

You're funny, reasonably intelligent and have at least a vague grasp of grammar.

You're bored. ;)