Allo there. I'm Kris. The following words will say things about me, and hopefully entice you into making contact with me, so that we can talk about gin, music, food, tv and sexytimes. I jest. Of course

>_>

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I'm 24 and I live near Preston. I used to live near Blackpool. I always seem to live near places, and never in them. Always occupying the middle ground, that's me.

I'm a punk. Sort of. You probably couldn't tell by looking at me most days, punks may look poor but some of the clothes they wear are well expensive, and don't look like it. Dressed by Primark and Topman sales I am. Oh it's fun being frugal with money.

Yeah, I just said I don't like to spend money. What a great chat up line that is. "Hey there, you're pretty, can you buy me a drink?"... I should really try that one day. Though, that would mean talking to a stranger in a bar, which I don't really do. I'm far too shy, and I feel you need more confidence in yourself to talk to people you fancy in a bar. And you need to be in a bar. I'm rarely in bars.

I will probably drive you mad by playing ukulele and talking about Doctor Who. I do apologise, and will make it up to you with delicious meals. Hooray!... yeah, once again I'm really selling myself in this paragraph. It's a skill

I should probably stop writing here and let you get on with reading the veritable essay that is my profile page on here... *sigh*

I work for an insurance company. It's basically a job where I tell old ladies they're not covered for their dripping tap. Alas, my fixed term contract comes to an end as of January 31st, so after that I'm back to being unemployed, unless I secure employment in the meantime.

However, I'm passing my spare time (which is time not spent looking after the house and making myself useful) by playing the odd gig, writing music, getting annoyed being rubbish at writing music and a lot of daydreaming about pipedreams, such as somehow getting money together to open up a geeky bar for alternative people to come hang out, drink good quality (no Carlsberg or other big name tosh) booze, and top quality simple grub. Where I'd also have a regular punk band and clubnight

Playing ukulele, cooking and knowing far too much information about Doctor Who.

Oh, I also give brilliant cuddles :)

In my personality, that I'm a lot quieter than they were expecting.

Oh, people have (and by people, I mean, like, three people) mentioned that I've got really "beautiful" eyes. I think this is just because I stare quite a bit.

Favourite books include Douglas Adams' "Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy" (the whole "trilogy of five"), all of Anything a bit nerdy, really. Not into fantasy, though, other than the brilliant Jasper Fforde, who I've read all but one of his books! I mostly read sci-fi when it comes to fiction, so Douglas Adams is well up there, humorous travel books (the sort of books based around bets) like Danny Wallace, Dave Gorman and Tony Hawks. Also, Derren Brown's "Trick of the Mind" is brilliant, too!

I don't watch many films, really, a lot of the stories are just a bit rubbish, I'll happily sit and watch a film once, but there's not many I watch over and over again. British comedies are the best, by which I mean old British comedies, such as A Fish Called Wanda, all of the Monty Python films, etc.

I've only just watched the first Harry Potter film! (July 2011). That's how little I watch a lot of films. The fact I wasn't keen on the book at school probably has something to do with it, though it seems a book which I didn't enjoy actually resulted in an enjoyable film. Same goes for the second film (which I've also just watched a week after on ITV), though I hadn't even bothered with the book for that. Never going to be ultra obsessed, but I'll want to watch the whole lot now. I'm a completist haha

I listen to a lot of obscure music, but I'm not one of those idiots who sulk when the bands they like are popular, I'm gutted when nobody has heard of a band I like. My favourite genre of music at the moment is probably dark cabaret, so bands such as The World/Inferno Friendship Society (whom actually, I adore in a borderline stalky way), Rasputina, The Tiger Lillies and Pretty Balanced, amongst others. I'm also into ska music, so bands like Reel Big Fish, The Specials, The Skints and Stand Out Riot

If I even began to talk about the sort of food I enjoy, we would be here all night. So it's probably easier to say what I don't eat. I don't eat McDonalds or KFC or Burger King or Dominos Pizza.

As for what I do like. I'm just keen on home cooked food from all cultures. I particularly like Caribbean food], like jerk chicken/pork/whatevers, and Mexican food... I make a mean chilli, and I know a lot of guys say that, and it's just a load of spicy mush, but mine is a very poncy recipe haha. Also, I've been watching a lot of Diners, Drive In's and Dives, and Man vs Food, and I've been looking at some of that American food and thinking it'll be great to do stuff like that when/if I open up a dive bar here in the UK

Books
The internet
Music/My instruments
Sleep
Snuggles
Food

Most of the time I'm thinking about plans for the future. What to write songs about. Comedic ideas for when I eventually give stand up another shot. What booze and food I'd serve at my dream bar. Where could I hold my ukulele club meets. Where could I hold the monthly punk night I want to put on. Why am I the only one in my group of friends who is still single?

I'm not much of a clubber, you see. Poor music, poor drinks and poorer company doesn't wash with me. I'd rather be at home, chilling out, watching something good on telly, or listening to music of my choice at a volume which doesn't leave me begging for mercy.

However, if I am out, I can usually be found at a decent pub with friends, chatting all kinds of nonsense, joking and practising a poorly executed magic trick on my friends.

I'd like to spend more time going out, though. Especially since I rarely drink any more and don't find myself needing to have a drink if I'm in a pub. It's a lot cheaper this way!... except now when I do drink, I'll only drink good quality stuff. Which comes at a price lol

I'm a very shy person. Which for someone who dreams of being a comedian/entertainer is completely backwards. I'm quite aware.

If you wish to know anything more private, just ask me, and if I'm feeling particularly daring, I may just tell you

If you like guys who aren't full of themselves, are a bit nerdy but have a good sense of humour.

Or if you don't. Write to me and tell me what an A-Hole you think I am. If you do write to me to say that, the feeling is probably mutual :D