Sunday night I met this guy on another dating site. We talked ALL night and didn't go to bed until 9 am. Then, Monday afternoon, we met for lunch, and spent all afternoon, and some of the evening together. I missed a meeting I had, and he missed calling his kids, because we COULD NOT stop talking. We COULD NOT seem to leave each others company.

Near the end, it turned into some heavy making out which ended abruptly because his class (he teaches kickboxing) called because he was late. Driving home after that was rather difficult, my brain was very fuzzy. I might as well have been intoxicated :P.

Any way, today, and as it always happens when I find someone I really want to get to know, I have major butterflies and I'm anxious and I just can't wait to see him/talk to him again! My feelings are rushing head-on and I've done that in the past and DO NOT want to do that again. I'm trying what I can to calm down, but nothing seems to last long. Any way, does anyone have some more ideas for me? I've watched tv, I've played a video game, I've napped, I've read... Some other ideas would be FANTASTIC and greatly appreciated :). I want to take it slow, as does he.... We've been hurt before and don't want to rush anything.

I'm having the hardest time finding someone to go to Kevin Smith with, and I'm really not sure why.

I'm already losing weight, and feeling the energy. It's pretty great... :). No being stuck in bed!

I've started a "diet." In quotes because I really don't need to change what I eat..... Well I do, but only because I eat unhealthy foods. Any way, I'm trying a body cleanse... See if that helps me at all. I feel so fat and ugly, and I have no energy, EVER. I finally got the second set of pills in the mail today, and I'm quite happy about this. Now I'm hoping for energy, so that I can exercise more, like I keep meaning to... But HONESTLY... I have no energy to even get out of bed half the time.... lol... I force myself :).

Will let you know how it goes!

I can't seem to find advice on this, and I'm really hoping that people will read this and offer me advice...

Do you think it's important that couples try to be friends with each others friends? That if there is a problem between your significant other and your friend, it is a problem in your relationship?

I try very hard to be friends with my boyfriends friends... and the more I try, the more I piss them off. They're protective of him, and hate me. I think this is a problem for us. I think we will not survive as a couple if they continue to dislike me and we continue to argue. What do you think?

A couple weeks ago I got into a fight with a friend of my boyfriends. It wasn't major or anything... other then the fact that I felt I was being "threatened." At the time that's what I thought, but in reality he was denying me my right to my own thoughts and opinions. Any way... my bf says we will have to have a talk about this soon. This is what I got so far. If you have any opinions and idea's on how to make it better, please let me know.


L, first of all this has nothing to do with you. I understand that you feel I am attacking your boyfriend and that is why you are upset. I probably would, to, if I were in your shoes. Except, I wasn't attacking, I was defending.

I didn't know why I was defending myself, and against what. Not until my social worker told me to buy this book on boundaries. I looked the book up on the net, and it hit me. Under mental boundaries it says: "Mental Boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions." Crash, you were crossing that boundary when you were giving me a hard time for being different from you and avoiding the news.

Example: When you said, "Well if you feel that the best way for you to deal with the issues that things like this bring is to put your head under the covers mumble to yourself and try not to freak out because you don't THINK you can do anything to change it, then your basically not that different from the majority of the people in north america. Not sure if there's anything wrong with being like the majority, but thats never been my cup of tea." and also, "A third of your life will be spent in bed under the covers either snoring or humping." That's when I felt you were denying me my right to have my own thoughts and opinions.

Yes, I'm more then aware that I was doing it poorly, and only making things worse. I'm not perfect, even though I wish so much that I could be. It would make things easier on me, and on everyone around me. But I'm not and I screwed up. I did a poor job in defending my boundary. But I was hurt and threatened. You weren't attacking me, I realize that now, but you were denying me my right to my own opinions and thoughts.

I'm sorry any of this happened and that you feel I was attacking you. I would really like it if we could just move on from this.

Well, because you people were driving me crazy by saying he's controlling and juggling women, I decided to tell him about this crazy shit. We have a good laugh. Seriously, him juggling women is funny. He joked that his other girlfriend is a maid. Which is terribly funny as his apartment is a mess.

So any way, today he calls me after work, saying he couldn't get a hold of his friend that he exercises with. I say, "Yeah, that sucks. It's really nice out. Now what are you going to do?" He responds, "Really does suck. Because now, I'm standing outside your garage waiting for you to let me in." He came to visit. It was totally awesome and a total surprise!

We climb into bed to cuddle (plus it's cold in the basement) and he says, "I decided I wasn't seeing you enough during the week, so I thought I'd come visit. Besides, the maid has the night off." Ha. Controlling? Juggling women? BAH! Explain his surprise visit for the hell of it!

I don't care anymore :).

Maybe it hasn't occured to you that these "eggshells" are here because of PAST relationships, not current ones. I'm afraid to speak up because of PAST relationships. I'm learning, slowly, to trust him because of the PAST. Not the present. There is nothing really telling me there's something wrong other then my own fears. No relationship is ever perfect. Other then my baggage, this is pretty damn good.

Maybe we WILL have problems when I'm finally able to stick up for myself, but there's no point worrying about it until I actually get the goddamn guts to do it. Because I'm scared to stick up for myself, it doesn't mean he's a controlling jerk like the rest. It just means I'm afraid he might be! HE'S NOT BAD! I'M JUST AFRAID HE MIGHT BE! Can you not read? Seriously!!

But he keeps showing me how great he is, by telling me he loves me more then he normally would, by being all cute and cuddly in public, by giving me a shoulder to cry on and listening to me when I talk, by asking me questions to help me figure out why I think the way I do, by being loving and affectionate... by just being HIM.

Just because I'M afraid of the past doesn't mean HE'S bad. Until I finally say "Hey, I want to see you during the week" and he says "No way in hell" it doesn't make sense for any of you to think he's a bad guy, who's controlling, juggling women, etc...

So, because I think of a future with the person I love, I'm deluded. It's human nature people! It's human nature to wonder if you have a future with the person you are in love with.

Also, why is it that people assume my boyfriend is juggling women just because we only spend time together on the weekends? It's like they're saying he can't have a life outside of me. Well, guess what? He can. And he does. Thankfully, *I* trust him and that's all that matters.

I think I am finally starting to trust that my boyfriend truly loves me. Maybe I am starting to get better. I've had doubts, but not because of him. Because of me. He is truly great. I mean, he's not perfect, don't get me wrong, but he is great. A friend of mine, who happens to be a social worker, is afraid that he is too controlling in our relationship. In a way, he is. I mean, he's the one who controls when we spend time together. We only ever spend time on the weekends, because he wants the weekdays to himself and to house cleaning. Of course, he never actually gets around to the house cleaning, but whatever. On Monday's he exercises (and he's getting nice muscle tones because of it... mmmm), and the rest of the week he does whatever. I would really love if I could say, "Hey, I'd really like if we could see each other during the week," but I'm scared right now. Hopefully that will change.

Any way, other then that he's great. And the more I spend with him, the more I love him. And this weekend, I truly felt loved by him. I'm aware that not seeing him the rest of the week is going to make me doubt him again, but there's also next weekend.

Uhhh where was I? Yeah... he's great. He tells me "I love you" more often then he normally would because he knows how important that is to me. We totally do PDA's, even though we normally don't like them... and the way he just looks at me and touches me sometimes, really screams love. And the more I'm around him, the more I love him.

When you're in a relationship, do you ever think about the little things that bothers you about your S.O. and wonder if you could marry them and be married to them? I do that all the time. I am totally doing that now. He doesn't want his wife to be a housewife, and a part of me does. I want to raise my kids, not strangers. Plus, I'm NOT a career woman. It's just not who I am. Plus, he likes to save his money for the future (like retirement). I'd really like to travel, or take trips somewhere together. I'm trying to decide if we could compromise on the first one. For instance, I work, but it's part time. Obviously, 3 months isn't the right time to talk about that, so I just think about it now and again. I think about if I could give up the possibility of romantic weekend getaways... not that I get them any way... but the fantasy is there... and if he's always saving his money and hardly spending it, we definitely won't, unless I find a job and pay for it myself. However, I do know that I love him now, and maybe none of that matters. Maybe it won't later.

That's just what I've been thinking.