Gods Favorite Record
By Kyle Suchomel 

And I'll try to destroy with words what does not love me back
But when the fires are gone it always grows back
And I’m reminded of all that they are and all that I lack
My face can form stone, but my eyes are puddles in the cracks
My heart is a hammer beating out daydreams where I have them back
Where our breaths are heavy and our arms contract
And for all the power of pinkie swears in my six year old past
The tangling of two adult bodies forms and unbreakable pact

I taste my lie when I blame them for all that doesn’t last
Just as I know these tears are not caused by a stray eyelash
Is there blame in bottle rocket romances that rise and crash?
Time is a tornado and we all stand in its path 
Seems every treasure turns to trash, every love turns to ash
My bed is more an urn than a place I crash
At night I try to make sense of love with my poetry stash
I cling to it like a calculator, like a boy who doesn’t understand math
I think of that place in Florida where we watched waves part and laps
Even the ocean seemed to say nothing lasts
I envy the roots of trees that reach into the earth like hands clasped
The only thing I’ve ever been able to hold onto that tightly is the past

Prayer is supposed to help me feel less alone
Sometimes prayer makes me wonder if heaven is in a different time zone
But perhaps silence isn’t the same as a dial tone
Maybe God hears my prayers and prefers the sound of me alone
Perhaps there is music in the sad sound of falling rocks on hallow bones
God put the world to spin so he could mouth the words to the records moan
Some vinyl comfort as he sits in heaven so alone

But they tell me love is a human need
I have crossed too many deserts not to feed
Nothing grows where I plant my seed
Here broken, thrown again from a mechanical steed 
I feel not a tear. but know that’s where a lover bleeds
And I wonder if love is all I need
I listen for my soul every time I breathe
Wonder if in this puzzle it is the piece I need
And worry over the six year old me, if caught in the spell of new bicycle greed
He handed over my spirit like worthless beads
Wonder if I need to find the devil and take back the deed

Why else would love not grow
Is it the season, is there too much snow
Does the ozone have a whole, does human love pour out like a champagne flow
Do we sleep with people we can never know
Do we rest our heads on hearts, places we can never go
Do all flowing sheets have an undertow
Do hallow promises stand like streetlights that do not glow
Has cautious cupid hung up his bow
The earth a place angels dare not go
Leaving man, the devil, and the things we owe
Is this world, this time, 
So void of soul

My dreams for monogamy can raise eyebrows like an untimely fart
Friends quaintly laugh as I pair mankind off two by two as if to shuffle them towards an ark
But I wonder how it is more wrong to look for one diamond than to need to fill a whole cart
This from people who claim to not even buy bath tissue in bulk or to even shop at Wal-Mart
And I think its cruel of men to compete with cupid in throwing darts
The eggs they carry blindfolded on spoons are human hearts
But some men could only mark their drivers license to give someone their heart 
Some men should not presume they are not blind unless their optometrist uses poetry for his chart
If time can turn graffiti into works of art 
Imagine what time can do for a promised heart
Unlike dogs, men need a gunshot for the race to start
In 50 years I wont hold my hemorrhaging heart wishing I had someone to help me with dying part

I’ve been told breaking up is a victimless crime
That all that is wasted is time, 
But all any of us really have is time
Am I the only one who thinks it unkind
To find I carried things that never were like a sidewalk mime
Thinking my love is safely hooked by some invisible line
And I know I will run into these lovers again in time
Paint a smile and say everything’s fine
But some mornings I want to shower with bleach and lime
Remove their stains from my skin and my tiles of time 

I close my eyes and my lips are perched
Not to kiss but in unquenchable thirst
I see his face as if for the first
I see him say yes, I see him flirt
I see my heart fill as though its about to burst 
I see friendship blossom, I see bodies traversed 
I see him whispering in my ear, I see the end of my search

I see love buckle. I see affection grow terse
I see communication get worse and worse
I see infidelity open its doors like a coal black hearse 
I see time moving backwards and love reversed
I see my trembling hands unheld
All but cursed

And I think of love, 
How it is human skin that makes up most of dust
How I’ve spent nights crying by open windows hoping for a mighty gust
I know I should say enough’s enough
I know I should learn what’s painful to touch
I know there are lights too bright to trust
But like a cat with a crystal I’ll keep trying my luck
Like a boy chasing rainbows with a bicycle
I wont give up 
Like a prisoner with a paperclip in my handcuffs
I’ll keep at it as long as I must
Hoping devotion is the difference between love and lust